Out of all the 'friends' I had while in the JWs, only a few (4) still have contact with me - 2 of them being VERY close to me to this day. One of these girls is about 6yrs older then me, so she has always been my 'big sis' so to speak! Anyhow she and her mom are JWs and they live together, but are very 'relaxed' in their stance against ME in that when I go out of town (which is on a regular basis) my gf will stay at my place to #1-get my mail, and #2-get a break from being up under her mom everyday!
Long story short, my gf has met and befriended a 'non-JW' guy and they are now a couple!!! Now because I don't want to see this friend get hurt or in trouble (which is so ridiculous to say about a 38yr old woman...getting in 'trouble' like some child) I forewarned her about seeing this man! Don't ask me what came over me, but because she is sitll 'in' the org and I don't want to see anything bad happen to her - I figured that I would just talk to her about being careful, not going TOO far with this guy, not getting her emotions all caught up, etc. Needless to say, she and this man get 'invovled' (ahem...) and for the past 2 mos I have been out of town on trips and have allowed her to stay at my place. She asked if her bf could be there and I have no issue with that (they stay in one of my guest rooms). Finally I come home on Sun, and my gf asks to stay until Tues!!! She kinda threw me off cause normally she clears OUT when I get back, but THIS time she asked to hang out a lil longer, which I obliged. As we talk the next day (while I'm unpacking) she tells me about how her relationship is going, and that she is tired of it being a 'secret'...her mother DID recently find out and threatened to go to the elders on her own daughter (of whom she lives with AND financially supports her)....how she is too old to be dealing with this stuff at THIS stage in her life - why can't she have a male friend? Why can't she go out in public with him? Why can't she hang out with ME in public and not be afraid of the repurcussions? I kept my mouth shut and let her vent, but then I just couldn't take it anymore - I started out with "Look girl...you know full well what the consequences are IF you get caught with this guy, and I don't want to see you go through what I did.....BUT......you have to understand that my reasons for NOT going back are exactly the questions you are now asking! I read C.of C. and see things so much clearer now. I don't want to sit here and tell you about what I've read or even for 1 min think that I 'influenced' you in anyway from what you choose to believe, but everything we were taught is NOT 100% Biblical - and to me that is NOT good enough." She looked at me with a blank stare, bowed her head and said "I know...I know it's mostly man-made" and she caught me off guard!! There was a moment of silence where we just stood staring at each other, and I got uncomfortable and continued unpacking. BUT she kept talking, and asking more questions, and I DID answer her - but not straightforward answers, kinda 'general' ones.
Point is (guess it wasn't as short as I thought I could make it) ... I feel guilty to some degree. It's one thing that I have been convinced of what the JWs are about, but I still have this 'weird' feeling of doing something WRONG by talking to her (an active JW) about what I've learned about the org. Is that normal???? I don't even know why I feel like this. Like I'm betraying someone or something...and I've been OUT for over 1yr now!