Suicide and This and That .....
How many of you have really gone through suicidal feelings, when you felt that no-one at all was out there to try to assist you? Did it help you to be told by so called friends, 'just pull your socks up!' Did you feel that such admonition was really daft and stupidly uncaring? That such ones had no idea of how to demonstrate compassion and/or understanding? I know, I've been there.
I want to ask a question, because for quite a while now here, I have been conducting one of my own psychological experiments with the board, main room posting area. Whenever I try to post anything to do with enabling assistance, practicable measures that could easily be taken, for the most part, one gets very few replies or a majority that are very negative by nature, as though damning this activity even before it gets a chance to be aired and/or getting off the ground, WHY is that?
I am now genuinely interested in the answer. Too, when one like myself posts quite frivolous material, suddenly replies pour in. To be frank, I'm puzzled by many individuals responses here.
Could you put me in the picture?
To experience suicidal feelings in isolation is like a cancerous poison passing through your internal system, all the senses are raw and obviously at these times you feel very vulnerable and left out in the cold, reassuring yourself, no matter how much it might not be founded in fact, that nobody loves you or really cares to assist you in your personal circumstances.
As a community here then, what more do you feel could be done, even idealistically, to bring such ones back to a sense of warmth and security once more?
Give me some proper positive feedback for once instead of negative bull, over to you.
Celtic, I can't say that I have never thought about suicide, that would be a lie. But, I always look at the bright side. I say to myself that it can't always be this bad, since I have had many good times in my life so it has to get better again.
As far as being mean spitited to someone who claims they are going to take their life. Never could I do this. Most times people say they are going to kill themselves but are really reaching out for help. That is what we need to try and do. Help them.
What if say, someone made a habit of threatening to kill themselves and never followed through on that threat? That does not mean that one day they wouldn't do it. I for one would not want the guilt of not trying to have had comforted that person. You can't know what a person is thinking/feeling.
So, I will always try to be loving to anyone and everyone, even if it is just that, a threat. People are to precious. I love them all. Even when they do not love me.
No one can make you feel inferior without your consentEleanor Roosevelt
You've got one hell of a beautiful personality, you know that don't you?
Any more views?
Celtic, good question.
I have been in the "funk" so many times I cannot count. Its a feeling that for one reason or another I can never explain. I just know that when I'm "in it" there is really nothing anyone can do. No words, no advice can pull me out.
My close friends are aware of this. Sometimes when my mind is fogged I have asked them to come over and not say a word, just be there. They don't have to understand anything, but they are willing to just come over and sit.
If I had an explanation for it, I would know how to get over it when it starts, usually lasts for about a week.
I am happy to say the intervals of this are less frequent now, I'm not exactly sure why. Maybe because after almost 20 yrs Im taking some responsibility for my recovery from the JW's as well as other things.
I was told that suicidal feelings are the result of ones pain exceeding their coping abilities. So the answer is to either reduce the pain or escalate the ability to cope. Not sure how this is done though. I have always just come out of it through time.
The more you post, the more I like to hear from you.
Anymore anyone else?
One of my best friends that I worked with committed suicide with a shotgun. That day at work he was not himself. He was quiet, serious looking and didn't say but a few words. I should have questioned him, but I thought the problem may have been too personal for me to inquire about. I wish I hadn't minded my own business, I feel that I may have been able to save his life had I just tried to find out his problem. I have regretted it ever since then. I have missed our fishing trips to the coast and the other fun times we had.
I would never take a suicide threat as something to joke about.
I just brought back up top, another 5 page thread on this subject for your review. If you go to search, you will see that there are several other threads on this subject that you may want to look at.
Most of us here are adults. We've been through the organized religion/cult blender and come out the other side hardened to anyone trying to shepherd, cujole or preach us into another crusade to save the world or whatever.
Most people here are far from the way you describe them. Without going over the top with hyperbowl* this is a very caring little community. I have had some experience with suicide in both my immediate family and congregations I attended. I have witnessed and been involved in helping several suicidal people on the internet. I saw Kent Steinhaug draw a girl back from it on H20 and get condemed by thickhead christians for the method he used.
I've seen some of your posts calling for one sort of JW community project or another and it always makes me wonder if you realise what a tiny diverse audience you're addressing. (the whole point of my first post to you calling you ... well i'd better not ...lol)
If you see someone being uncaring or whatever just say so, scream the place down, like I did today to draw attention to Kevin. (you may find this hard to swallow but posting loud and boisterous like that doesn't come easy to this shy unc .. fair dinkum)
In chat today you upset me by calling a serious conversation i was engaged in bullshit (sometimes deeper things are going on than what you see Celtic and you being so quick to judge others harshly while calling for tollerance and a more compassionate board doesn't sit well with me) You condeming those in chat not being serious and ashen faced "in case Kevin came back in the room" was one of the stupidest most moronic things I've ever heard. Are you really so shallow that you can't change your tempo according to the situation? Did you think you were the only one on the lookout for mr.suicides re-entry?
Besides that there was a very serious situation being addressed under the light hearted banter. I'm sorry I yelled for you to piss off but at the time you deserved it. What gives any of us the right to brand a group discussion bullshit? (unless YouKnow''s involved ;)
I like your concern for people Celtic but we're sometimes on different wavelengths.
I could write half a book about suicide but haven't the time. (i even did a short stint assisting 'life line' phone counsellors) I think the key thing to remmember in helping is that few folk really want to die, they just want to end the pain.
Best wishes brother, unclebruce
PS: I'm tired, i hope this made sense and i can still respect myself in the moaning ;)
*hyperbowl <--- mulan spells it like that ;)
Thankyou for the two posts above. Larc, I will be mailing you later this evening.
I too had a bad experience last year whilst in Oxford. A chap who was a very rough diamond had just been released from prison on medical grounds. He and I talked together and after a few days he thanked me for the time that I had spent with him, as it seemed to him that in the past few days he had at last found some friends, with at last, that he could share some things about his life that were important to him. I shared a pint with him at about midnight. That was the last i saw of him.
The next day, another friend of mine and myself discovered that he had committed suicide whilst in the toilets by taking a heroin overdose, not the prettiest site in the world. I wish then that I'da been in a better position to help him. Alas, what can one say in retrospect, except to determine to try to help as much as possible, individuals like him?
Any more views? Any practicable ideas does anyone have? Anything at all? This is important!! Please share your views:
Been there twice, almost did the deed. It was only my own mind that saved me. I didn't have support from anyone, it was before the internet was big.
Once I realized what was hapening in my life that would lead me to this, it was easy to make the changes and leave the JW's. I knew if I stayed in I would end up dead.
The hard part has been creating a new life and detaching the strings from the past. Every now and then I have my moments too, but for the most part I am able to ignor them as well as they ignor me. It is ever important to develope a support system outside the Org. in order to survive. I try to offer support to ones who know me well enough to hear me. This is the whole reason to be on here as far as I'm concerned, to offer that support when needed.