Pre-busted (page 2)

I quit!

What your daughter's teacher and the other teachers did for you and you family was a wonderful Christmas gift but I would consider being outed on Facebook the greatest Christmas gift you will ever receive. It takes away all the fear and worry that comes with trying to live a double life out of equation. They now know what you are up to all you have to is admit it and let them know you are no longer under the control of the Watchtower. You have your husband and children what more could you ask? A lot of people on this board would love to be able to leave and keep their immediate family together.

If the Witnesses give you any crap about Jesus not being born on Dec 25 and how could you go back to celebrating it you can point out that it should be obvious to them that he didn't return in 1914 yet they hold to that date as if it were true and at least Christmas is fun.

I hope you and your family have a wonderful Watchtower free Christmas.

cattails

Cancel your Facebook page for a while.

Then go back and re-log in, all your stuff will be up as if you never canceled your account.

Just take a break from it all, and maybe go back to fading quietly. People have other things

to do and if they can't access your facebook account to look then they might just leave you

alone about it. Otherwise they may print out the photos or something.

Gayle

Merry Christmas and a very Happy 2010 Happy New Year and Happy New Life!

I recommend if the elders come after you, just hand them your attorney's letter. Don't let them "announce" your name on the platform (which we know is a 'smear' tactic). They may have the right to announce it but you also have a right to not let them "announce" it. The less said the better as they truly don't care. However, many ex-JWs are successfully insisting to go legal about any "announcement" regarding their personal name and it seems the Watchtower Society is concerned about that. If all potentially disfellowshipped members did this, I think this may be the only way to impact this wrongfully supposed authority of the Watchtower Society.

Sample at:

http://www.jehovahs-witness.net/jw/friends/184645/1/Lawyer-Letter-copy-to-Judicial-Committee

I quit!

I think that is good advice Gayle. When I left I sent them a letter threatening to sue them if they defamed me in any way or caused any trouble in my marriage.

Gayle

to "I quit!"

so did they "announce" your name on the platform? I do think the Watchtower Society doesn't want such a thing to go to court, because if they fear if they lost, there would go their control.

nugget

As far as your daughter is concerned she has already made the mental break from from JW religon. she did the most natural thing in the world she showed others the kindness that had affected her deeply without filtering it through what is acceptable to JWs.

Perhaps it is time to follow her lead and embrace the change. If you don't want to be officially Df'd then the strongly worded legal letter is your best defence. This allows you to associate with JW relatives without the stigma of a DF and can be used if Elders want to speak to you about your tree in an official capacity. If they approach you state that this is not something you are prepared to discuss and hand them the letter.

A DA makes a clean break but may cause problems with relatives who are still in. In addition it may be a problem if your daughter sees any problems as being her fault.

Enjoy the season and be prepared then you don't have to give JWs a second thought.

changeling

The advice to drop FB for awhile is good. And as for those who insist on asking quations, be "too busy" to hang out with them for a bit.

Trust me on this: in time, your being inactive will be "old news". It will all blow over. Just give it some time. :)

jamiebowers

You've received very good advice so far.

...what I left out though is my family is insisting on having contact, and well with contact is guilt and feeling like I need to explain myself or make excuses. They won't let up. There is a lot of history there, but suffice it to say that I'm still no over being my own person.

What kind of history? If it's history involving emotional threats and intimidation, you're better off ending it and starting on a new future. And as for your daughter, well, bless her heart!

Heartbreaker

The history would be that my father is an admitted molester of his daughters, the other two, not me. I have flashbacks and memories consistant with either being touched, or I had a very vivid and compassionate imagination for my sisters. They sat us kids down a few months ago and apologized and made a big deal about how J-god fixed him, and how my mother is a forgiving person etc etc....and my sisters were all cooing with appreciation and whatever (throw up a little in your mouth right now, it's ok, I'll wait) and it was then that I confirmed that I was never coming back to the religion, and as for contact with my children, they'd just have to wait and see. I was in no hurry to make a decision on that.

Then we thought about moving to make that break be really easy and clear. That hasn't happened.

And they, my parents, mostly my mother, keep putting on the heat to make a plan on how they can still see the kids and have a relationship with them and see them. I still dont even know how comfortable I am with them being around me kids at all, much less "make a plan". Its all just sad, and hard because we were close and socialized a lot before my memories came back. Now whats known can't be unknown.

Dagney

Decide what you want your life to be for you and your family and act in line with that.

I think the advice is good to drop the FB page for a while. They will survive without you and you can concentrate on your plan for 2010. I think in this case, DA'ing may free yourself to do what you want and force the relatives to back off. I would also suggest finding some quiet time, alone, and allow your own thoughts to come forward...usually the path to take becomes quite clear. You will find out what the very best thing to do for you and your situation.

I have found always coming from a place of strength in dealing with the JW relatives and friends has worked really well.

Pre-busted

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