Pre-busted

by Heartbreaker 20 Replies latest jw friends

  • Heartbreaker
    Heartbreaker

    I mean, I can only imagine that's what I am. So be it. I read a post here on my phone, and wish could remember who it was, to give credit, but I can not. It was about the slow fade or some such, and the merits to just getting out, or doing it slowly. I was talking to my ever hesitant husband (he's out, he's a SINNER...lol....just doesn't want to discuss all things JW anymore, despite being a raised in from toddlerhood) about the pros and cons of DAing. I told him that the more I think of it, the better DAing sounds because then you KNOW you don't need to worry about the occasional drop by, or nosy prying elders. You take that control mechanism they love to wield, and yank it away. You would sleep easier too I imagine. He said he didn't want to do that, but of course if I decided to, so be it. We don't tell eachother how to react. I explained that to go on doing what we do, and then get caught, have an inquisition, allow the elders to decide our status and announce us....no thank you! He could see the point, but just doesn't want to discuss it, or act in one way or another. We did a rapid fire fade back in the summer after a few months of sporadic at best attendance.

    SO...the way I'm assuming I'm pre-busted is this. I have a few family members on my Facebook page. A couple cousins that are JWs but live out of state, sister who's the most dedicated thrice disfellowshipped person I've ever met, her 2 teenagers that are completely worldy but still attend with their mom to live at home, and a niece that's out, but is still in contact with her mom and sister that are totally in. And a life long friend's husband who is not a JW, but she is. I went to the store to get dinner, and my teenage daughter thought she was so helpful in adding a video and 4 photos of our family decorating a tree that I didn't know we'd ever have. It was donated to us, my husband has been out of work for the better part of the year, and we just didn't have the extra to spend on starting fresh in a holiday like Christmas (and my husband wasn't really ready, see above) but my youngest childs teacher got together with a few other teachers and friends and donated a 8 foot tree to our family, almost 100 ornaments multiple strings of lights, and about 45 wrapped presents. Never in my life have I ever been at the receiving end of such absolute love, caring, and charitable works. I was teary eyes and appreciative, and it was so awesome to set that tree up (fake) and watch the kids come in and see about 1/2 the gifts under the tree, all wrapped, and let them open them all up and help decorate. The other half are hidden, marked from Santa. How can I be mad at my daughter for adding those to my page? So people are commenting on it, and I'm sure it's been the buzz all around the country, given the people that are in that've seen it, and I'm half nervous, half don't give a sh%t. I think the half that cares is in respect for my husband, and his feelings.

    Opinions? Advice? Wanna be my friend on Facebook?

  • changeling
    changeling

    You're out with husband and all children? Then do the dance of joy and move on freely with your life. I woulden't bother to DA, that would be playing by "their" rules. Just let the chips fall where they may. Chances are, if you've been inactive for some time, you won't get any calls or visits from the elders. If you do, I would ignore them. :)

  • Heartbreaker
    Heartbreaker

    Changeling...thank you...what I left out though is my family is insisting on having contact, and well with contact is guilt and feeling like I need to explain myself or make excuses. They won't let up. There is a lot of history there, but suffice it to say that I'm still no over being my own person.

    I do however realize how lucky I am to have my husband and children all with me, and what a joy that is.

  • GLTirebiter
    GLTirebiter

    with contact is guilt and feeling like I need to explain myself or make excuses.

    Heartbreaker, you have nothing to feel guilty about, to explain, or make to excuses for. I agree with changeling: a formal DA is another form of submitting to the Watchtower's authority and playing along with their game. You don't need to apologize to anybody for living your own life.

    GLT

  • BabaYaga
    BabaYaga

    Hearbreaker said:

    ...my youngest childs teacher got together with a few other teachers and friends and donated a 8 foot tree to our family, almost 100 ornaments multiple strings of lights, and about 45 wrapped presents. Never in my life have I ever been at the receiving end of such absolute love, caring, and charitable works. I was teary eyes and appreciative, and it was so awesome to set that tree up (fake) and watch the kids come in and see about 1/2 the gifts under the tree, all wrapped, and let them open them all up and help decorate.

    WOW!!! That brought a little extra moisture to my eyes, too!!! Don't fret, my Dear... this may work out better than you expect with your extended family, and in the meantime, you have so many reasons to

    REJOICE!!!

    Merry Christmas, Heartbreaker!!!

    Love,
    Baba.

  • SirNose586
    SirNose586
    Opinions? Advice? Wanna be my friend on Facebook?

    Sure! http://www.facebook.com/adentonsd

  • SirNose586
    SirNose586

    *double post*

  • Heartbreaker
    Heartbreaker

    Thank you Baba!! Merry Christmas to you too!

    We are rejoicing, for sure. Ive never felt so loved and supported as I have in the last week. It's mind blowing.

  • palmtree67
    palmtree67

    Awwwww.....I'm so happy for you!!!!

    Have a great holiday!

  • freydo
    freydo

    D A - All the way. It takes their power away.

    Also makes them wonder if you're right - then they're wrong.

    I think it makes you somewhat legendary too, instead of just a victim.

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