How are you faders doing?

pat1060

Just wondering how all you slow faders are doing.I know this subject is discussed many times,but personally I wish it was more.We should post every once in a while just to say how we are doing,we need to encourage each other.As for me,it is still going very slow.Right now I'm looking into the history that is being covered up.I have learned so much just by reading the older threads.It is very painful for me because this was the TRUTH.And to be finding out so much crap that 99% of JW don't even know,it just is unbelievable.I have cut my field service down,and miss more meetings then I ever did.I'm hoping the sister that is in my face all the time,trying to help me,will forget about me soon......So how are you doing?

blondie

I would quit "field circus" asap. Then I would cut it down to one meeting a week (probably Sunday) and come just as it starts and leave just as it ends. Song/prayer stand very near the door.

Then just drop one meeting each month, 3, 2, 1, 0......

Then get call waiting and screen calls from jws trying to "help"

Don't answer the door unless you are expecting someone like the pizza guy. If someone "corners" you, just say, "This is a bad time right now, I'll let you know when it's a better time (and don't call them).

You have to be firm the first few months.

Blondie (just stopped going like that) but had a flurry of calls and drop bys for a few months.

GLOWCELL

SORRY!

on a Journey Home

(garden of sensitivity)

stillin

It was the TRUTH for years for me, too. I still care a lot for many of the friends, and I do mean friends in the true sense. But of course, I don't want to hurt their internal mental support systems by talking out against their dearly-held beliefs. For now, I'M the one with a problem, I'm sure people are talking about me and how self-centered I've become, not even going out in service anymore. I am doing a very slow and painful fade. My wife is faithful, though stormy at times about the misuses of authority in the name of Theocrisy.

At the same time, I have to give consideration to the possibility that I HAVE become self-centered. I wouldn't want to be like this after my fade is complete. I would still want to think of ways that I can be of real help to other people worse off than I am.

LostGeneration

There is nothing wrong at all with being "self-centered" Think about the phrase for a second. You are focusing on yourself. What in the world is wrong with that? When going through a difficult time, that is the most important thing to do, make sure "you" are doing all you can to fix/help yourself. Are you really any good to others if you are constantly running around following WT directives that you don't believe anymore? No, it just builds anger and resentment.

Its just another WT label applied to those who think for themselves, and act accordingly. I'd rather be self centered (and mentally healthy) any day of the week rather than trying to please people (who don't really love you anyway)

Gayle

Some have found at some point of phasing down, stopping "service",,irregular in meetings,and if possible, then moving out of the immediate congregation territory, as long as you don't give out your new address and/or phone number to anyone.

carpediem

Well my fade was rather rapid. Didnt mean it to be but once I stopped going to meetings I just couldnt face going back. Even after all these months I still get texts, cards, emails and elder visits. I never really wanted to df or da - just wanted to fade into none existence, but now I am getting on my feet on the outside, it is coming to the time when I need to DA myself. Im not sure when I will do it, but it wont be long. I need to close that chapter and move on. Well actually, I already have moved on, but its getting to the time when I need to say this out loud.

stillin

lost gen; you're right about the self-centered thing. I know that I have to take care of myself before I'll be of any use to anybody else. It's just a long process. And you're also right about not bothering with people who don't really give a flying rat's ass for me anyhow.

pat1060

That is so true,we do become self centered,but ,look we are trying to get out of a controlling org,telling us every thing to feel and think....and lying to us.We will be so much better off when it is over.But I do want to avoid DA because I still have a son in,even if he does live aways away.I just want to disappear.

flipper

PAT- Doing very well ! Thanks for asking ! Wife and I are fine as is my son who is inactive. My JW parents respect my fade , my older elder brother seems to be softening his staunch views since his JW 29 year old son has been inactive for 6 months and going through a JW non-scriptural divorce. My brother and his wife even SUPPORT him ! And this was a strict elder at one time ! I am talking a little now to my JW daughters, not much, but trying to re-connect. Gotta give it time- I'm sure it will work out in time. Just have to be positive ! Take care, hang in there

How are you faders doing?

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