I'm glad for you Recovering. I can appreciate Ray's personality from the love and empathy he trasmits through his books. He did a great work in writing the facts. Though the Watchtower has tried to soil his image and reputation, he has now a far better and solid reputation all over the world between people who benefit of his books.
I also can understand your feelings, because one of my daughters and a nephew (JW) were victim of sexual abuses (by a non JW). We have also passed through very sad and hard periods, fighting deep depression and suicide thoughts of my daughter...during years.
She has been through lots of therapists during years and now after almost ten years (since she reminds the facts), she seems well, she feels like having the command of her emotions and life. Not the same for my nephew, who didn't go through therapy....parents (JW) didn't even encourage him to, "well time will help, you will forget, try to think posistive and bla bla bla...", result: he feel attraction for men and though he left the congregations years ago, he is now asked to dissociate, with all the family shunning him! So sad....
Hope you may build a good and satisfactory life for yourself and found a mate who will undestand you and be of real help!