by creativhoney 32 Replies latest jw friends
My core, everything I was, was torn away from me. Left was right, up was down. I was lied to and had a lot of baggage before I became a JW. (Baggage that led me to the religion in the first place.) I am still confronted with JWness from my wife and mother on a regular basis. So, for awhile anyway, I will be an ex-JW.
If it is a phase I can get out of, great. I hope that happens. I also hope I retain some of the friends I made along the way from other ex-JW's.
I don't really get the idea that if you're an ex-ex-JW you should stop posting here.
I agree with MM, and I think it is a shame that many ,because they feel they have moved on .no longer bother to post.
They have much to offer Newbies and readers on here, who have yet to make a move, in the way of experience and giving people the reasons and the courage to break the hold of the WT.
Ex JW or ex-Ex Jw you can still be of immense value on here.
Love
Wobble
p.s good to meet you ,briefly, MM, at waggas.
I hadn't really thought of myself as being an ex-JW until I started reading these boards. It's only been a couple of years since I've been out of the organization, but only recently have I given more thought to how it affected me. I don't have any friends in my immediate circle who are ex-JWs. I have a couple of family members on their way out and a couple of good friends that are ex witnesses, but I don't see them very often since we live in different countries now.
I think it's important, like you said, to focus on what you are now and not what you were. Sometimes I feel like reading the boards can be a little depressing, because I start focusing on a lot of the negatives of my past. On the other hand, it can be good to analyze some of those things and to share experiences. I think talking about being a former witness is both helpful and harmful. It all depends on the stage you're going through on your way out. Some people who are still really struggling with carving out their new identity definitely need the support. I guess sometimes I still fall into that category :)
Best,
The Real Life
I think its interesting what people go through, -
first it was denial. - I didnt want to discuss religion,
then I started to look things up - questions
started to get angry tried to speak to my family - deaf ears
joined some forums on facebook and here
deleted forums on facebook, - didnt want my vehement outbursts being read by all
didnt post on here for 4 months
had a vacant period in my life devoid of everything - came out of it in a metamorphisis.
added 2 groups back to facebook but more of a casual observer
came back to here out of general interest.
On here, yes Im an Ex witness, in the scope of my whole life however its just a part of my past (25 years of it but nonetheless) - its not who I am, and I agree with the real life in that you can help and encourage others.
I do not define myself by what I was.
i can skip comfortably between both worlds. the exjws i've met here and other places in real life seem pretty much the same. the jw stuff seems quite removed from real life. its not the be all and end all. this is a dub discussion board so its gonna be talked about, but then we can talk about recipes and other stuff till the cows come home too.
in real life i'm just me, and although we have the background in common its a very small part of whether we actually click and get on and stay in touch.
Well said creativhoney, most of my friends are those who have never been associated with witnesses in any way. In fact, I've got so little interaction with anything WTBS related that last few days I came here just to catch up and see what's new. But I agree, it is very unhealthy if all interaction people have are running around ex-cult life. In fact, my last comment on another thread was exactly along those lines.
If healing is what people are after then they really need to start interacting with people who lead normal life that has been denied to many ex-witnesses as well as keep lines of communications with "brothers-in-arms" if they found a close friend or two. After all, witness past is what is integral part of you and only those who had been through it might understand some of your deepest thoughts, shaddows and demons of your past. But constantly dwelling on past can only lead to self-errosion and life that missed the purpose.
I would never define myself as an 'ex employee of xxx' as you leave it behind it doesnt define you
That just about says it for me.
My family might want to put me in a box and describe me with terms that I don't agree with, but they are the ones with cult inspired problems, not me.
Cheers
Chris
i am soooooooo much a jw and working hard to lose that......but it was much easier starting here with making new friends.....the commonality is a great bond....way more real than the old bruddahood...........i love you guys!
now am branching out to the REAL world......................oompa
