How do you release the grudge?

by brainwashed-from-birth 29 Replies latest jw experiences

• 

  VoidEater

  The anger is a good thing. It builds psychological boundaries to protext yourself against being sucked in again.

  Over time, the anger dissipates, if you start filling your life with more constructive thoughts and hopes and dreams.

  The more engaged you become with building a new life, the less time you will have to feel hurt and angry and betrayed.

  Butit will take small steps first. Doing small things. Establishing a life and an identity outside of the krazy kult takes baby steps, time, and focusing on what you now want - and what you are now allowed to have - in life.

  Structure some time each day to appreciate what you like in life - art, food, books, anything that lets you feel your own sense of existing, of being alive, of having your life back, of being free for the first time. Nurture feelings of appreciation for what you are free to pursue now.

  The anger is useful, try to keep it focused where it truly belongs, and start letting yourself have other feelings, too.

  For me, I found great relief in being alone - free from prying eyes, judgmental minds, spiteful tongues, hypocrits. I rejoiced in being free from them, from not having to see them at meetings, or espouse their beliefs in service.

  From there I branched out into activities that interested me.

  After awhile, I only got angry when confronted with an example of their petty attempts to control people.

  I was free from them.
• 

  GLTirebiter

  My posts are one way I deal with the pain of the Watchtower organization's family-shattering teachings. Posting on this forum not only gives me a safe place to vent what I'm feeling, but also is how I set and affirm an agenda for coping with my own situtation. In other words, many of my posts (this one included) are written to myself just as much as to the person I'm replying to. It helps me set expectations for myself, encouraging me to "practice what I preach", as it were.

  Getting up the courage to make the first post is the first step on the journey, and a big one. We aren't a subsitute for professional counseling, just a group of kindred souls to talk to. Listen to the others and share your support and encouragement. That's why we come here. It's one big support group, full of people who have lived through the same experiences.

  Welcome!
• 

  SirNose586

  I've been quite lucky in my exit process. It's hard for me to give advice when my situation will probably not be as hard as yours, brainwashed-from-birth. But I can at least tell you that reaching out and connecting socially has helped tremendously. I'm meeting cool people at every social event--much better than the "wasteland of evil people" the WT tried to spook me with!

  You may not have what I do, but just look for the good people in your locale. It's a start. Keeping busy with all the things you couldn't do will help, at least for the time being, to distract you from Borg issues.

  This board will certainly help. But even I found it good to take a vacation from reading about Borg drama, just to keep my sanity.

  If you dwell on your hatred, the Borg wins. If you give them the middle finger, you win. You've gotta be flippant about it.
• 

  trueblue

  Some times all I can do is find something constructive to do and exsert myself (work very hard)

  Seems to help get my mind off of the JW thing and find Self Gradification.

  God is not going to destroy you so I hope that you can get that out of your mind...

  I think you would have to be really bad before God will not give you a second chance.
• 

  Chalam

  Hello BFB,

  I have got a huge grudge against Jehovah and his "organization".

  Fair enough!

  I feel like it has ruined my life and any chance of a relationship with God..(if there is one.)

  Leaving the organisation is the first step toward having a relationship with God. The "jehovah" the WT preach is nothing to do with God and a false idol they have created.

  There is only one way to have a relationship with God and it is certainly not through the WT.

  John 14:6 (New International Version)

  6 Jesus answered, "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.

  Matthew 11:27-30 (New International Version)

  27 "All things have been committed to me by my Father. No one knows the Son except the Father, and no one knows the Father except the Son and those to whom the Son chooses to reveal him.

  28 "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."

  My immediate family has disowned me along with everyone I was comfortable with my whole life. I get so angry when the elders try to stop by my house to see if my life is bad enough to start coming back to the KingdomHall. I cant stand it. I have abandonment issues now and cant seem to stay in a relationship. I have tried to talk to others about my feelings, but I never feel people understand. I do not want sympathy I want to be happy for once in my life. I had guilt when I was in, and now that I have left I feel lost and alone. Worst of all, becz of what I was taught, I have no fear of death and do not regret any of my stupid actions. What's the point? Im going to be destroyed anyway right? My family life would have been a lot better if the JWs would have never stopped by so many years ago. My Mom used to say we were so lucky that they became JW when I was born, cuz we might be smokers or something. I dont know about all you out there, but I would rather smoke 6 packs a day then deal with the pain that this religion has caused. Please if anyone understands my feelings please give me suggestions for handling my anger.

  You need to forget everything the WT every taught you, it is all baloney. They have twisted and distorted the whole of the gospel.

  There is real peace and happiness, in this life. It comes from knowing the Prince Of Peace. Give Him your heavy bags. He does not weight you down (unlike the WT).

  Blessings,

  Stephen
• 

  designs

  But Stephen, you at some point must come to the same realization about your own uber literal take on the Bible and your schemes.

  Wouldn't Jesus say to the Fundamentalists- 'Baloney!'

  The ever swinging door of cultdom
• 

  Chalam

  Hello designs,

  I take Jesus at face value. He does not change and His words are true

  Hebrews 13:8 (New International Version)

  8 Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.

  Numbers 23:19 (New International Version)

  19 God is not a man, that he should lie,
  nor a son of man, that he should change his mind.
  Does he speak and then not act?
  Does he promise and not fulfill?

  You choose the Jesus you want. When you meet Him you can see if the real one is like the one you have believed in.

  I pray you are not like the Pharisees, this is what Jesus had to say to them.

  John 8:45 (New International Version)

  45 Yet because I tell the truth, you do not believe me!

  All the best,

  Stephen
• 

  designs

  And maybe he just won't be the monster the Fundamentalists portray him to be!

  Theology- where metaphysics, philosophy and pseudo-science meet.
• 

  LouBelle

  You release it, you let it go, you let it lie, you make your peace with it. It was your past. Yes we all have our feelings regarding that past but it doesn't rule us (well most of us) anymore.

  You move on. You come to a support forum and get it out but on the outside rebuild your life. Do the things that make you smile, happy, things you enjoy, hobbies. Start getting to know other people and form relationships with them.

  Take control of your life.

  Baby steps though
• 

  milola

  Come on...it's like you still believe all that crap! NOOOO you are not going to be "destroyed anyway". But if you truly believe that, then I think you need to get yourself back to the HALL.