by finding my way 19 Replies latest jw friends
Mean... or, I mean,,,, humourous. (better say what she wants me to say.... oh crap, now I"m in for it...)
Trust me, fmw. I've pissed off a lot of people here. You can piss me off now - I deserve it.
If you get upset, you can start spanking your baby and get an early start... oh wait... you're not a dubbie anymore. Ok, forget it.
Preggers? How utterly sweet. Congratulations on your wee one. How far along are you?
Finding....
Don't feel bad. I live with it, or should I say lose sleep with crap all the time.
The latest? I fell asleep watching Atlanta's house wives, and woke up worrying about designer bags for my garbage can.....I am not kidding!
I had to make sure they were white and had names on them...all told....they were white and buy one get one free when I finally got to Albertsons. Sweet dreams!
r.
Haha I'm really laughing out loud now. I'm glad I don't have to become a backroom spanker like a DUB! oh the flashback I just had. Marching hand in hand from the front of the hall to the back. Wide eyed and no one to rescue me
Thank you Robdar, I'm about 6 months now. Loving it but getting pretty uncomfortable in this darn Hawaii heat.
I'm glad you found your white trash bags maybe you could handwrite names on them? I dunno
I really should get up and do something other than chat on the computer...maybe I'll watch housewives of Atlanta.
Sounds to me like you are just all on edge and having too many changes (even if they are just in your heart right now) at a time
to quote heartbreaker
Leaving JW is changing EVERYTHING about you!!! that in itself is too much!!! give it time! I wake up all the time... wanting to prove to someone that I am right and they are wrong... sometimes out of spite, other times just wanting to wake them up!!! I am so sensitive about it I just started telling people I'm an ex-jw!!!
This is just a chat forum. Anonymous people are free to disagree. I value the opinions that differ from mine if they are made in sincerity. Don't sweat it so much. If you need to hold back a bit here just to get sleep, try posting a bit less until you feel at ease. Try seeing what you agree with and only jumping in after the thread reaches page 3. Start threads if you want, but don't offend anyone. I only say that because you need your sleep. Eventually, it won't be that bad, then you can sling it with the rest of us.
Losing sleep over issues with family and self-confidence. Why, that sounds like you are fairly fresh coming out of a dangerous mind-control cult. It's normal, well- normal as can be for such a stressful situation. It just takes time. I was as bitter as bitter could be just a few years ago. I am not perfect now, but I am much better. One guy, early one, commented on my thread about my JW wife. He said to "divorce the bitch." He didn't really understand me at all. It almost destroyed me, then I remembered that this is just a chat forum for fairly anonymous people. I discarded his comment.
For however long you were a jw you had it beat into your head that the only opinion you should have is the same as the WB&TS and that anyone who doesn't agree with the WB&TS is lower than whale shit. Apparently you developed some critical thinking skills along the way, and it scares you to express your thoughts...kind of like how a kid is afraid to ride a bike without training wheels.
Eventually, you'll get over your fear and realize that group think really is a bad thing and is much worse than someone disagreeing with you or, GASP, you being wrong about something. You may get to the point where you actually enjoy not having all the "answers". I've often thought that being a jw is like being a kid who knows everything they're getting for Christmas...no mystery or surprise.
All I know about dreams is that I have nightmares if I eat even 3 or 4 hours before I go to bed, and my stepdaughter had vivid dreams every time she was pregnant. But, sadly, it must be said that many exjws, including myself, have lost family in real life and not just in dreams. It's a price most have to pay for freedom from the cult.
Finding my way,
Being in a high control religion and being constantly told that whatever you are doing is just not enough will destroy your self esteem and your self confidence. So how can you feel that your feelings and thoughts are of value? That is what I am struggling with and it sounds like you are too. I beleive that it will take practice and that takes time. I believe that you can learn to value your own feelings and opinions, and that is what I aim for. Good luck.
Dear Finding:
Welcome to the board, which means new friends, helpful advice and genuine concern over your well-being. I'm not a hormonal female, just a once explosive, overly sensitive Mediterranean guy. The immense improvement in my disposition over the last three years is due to leaving the KH and being here on JWN. There are many other factors, of course, but those are the main two, on a practical, human level. I still believe in God, however, and wonder why he would continue to answer my prayers, given my defection from the KH and being here. I'm still viewed as a JW locally; it's my persona. You don't shake some 50 years overnight. Maybe I don't want to. Though I continue to sort it all out, I'm no longer sweating the small stuff ... it's all....
Oh, your question ... I am a natural born fussbudget, but the above changes for the better have helped soften my outlook on life and what really counts. We're all dealing with a huge assortment of problems. For restrangled and me, it's designer garbage bags, so to speak.
Anyway, it does get better. Just continue communicating ...
"don't be mean or i might go cry "
I like that!
Love,
CoCo
Thank you everyone for your words of advice :0) i relate to many of the points made.
~fmy
