why do I keep losing sleep over silly stuff?

by finding my way 19 Replies latest jw friends

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  finding my way

  I keep finding myself posting things on here and then feeling extremely embarrased for sharing my point of view. Like I can't handle anyone disagreeing with my viewpoint. Last night I had a hard time falling asleep because of what someone posted in response to my comment. I couldn't let it go. I also lose sleep at night worrying about never talking to my family again or dreaming up conversation where I can never get my point across. This is something that happens to me a lot but not as often as it used to. Its usually when I have a disagreement with someone, but now it's turned into not being able to handle webpage disagreements. I feel completely lame that my confidence can dip so low over stupid stuff. There's some anxiety there obviously but i can seem to get rid of it. What is up with me?! any incites? advice?

  don't be mean or i might go cry

  Joking. Or am I..?

  ~fmy
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  Heartbreaker

  Sounds to me like you are just all on edge and having too many changes (even if they are just in your heart right now) at a time.

  I tell you what, I had an adrenal problem, and I'd get all shaky and nervous, then lightheaded and nauseous, and then would need to fall asleep....but I couldn't sleep at night at all, bad dreams, arguements, both sides, battling a subject out all the way....and if I faced my fears, the adreneline afterwards would leave me shaky even more, and jazzed up to where I felt like I was buzzing around. It was some crazy stuff. I can tell you what worked for me, but I knew my problem was exacerbated by adrenal lows, was take the over the counter hydrocortisone cream and put it on the inside of my arm or leg, just a tsp or two, and massaged it in. Deep breaths.

  Try writing down a pros and cons list. What you are getting away from, what you are leaving behind. Sometimes they can be on both sides of the list, and there you will find your anxiety. Take it slow, and get through one thing on the list if possible at a time.

  Come back here, realize we aren't here to battle you, to argue your point of view. For myself I can say that I am so damned tired of being told all my life how to think, how to answer, and what the appropriate questions are, that I never want to tell someone they are wrong and I am right ever again!!! That is the very best thing I am taking away from this whole ordeal. To each his own, and who am I to question them?

  Take care of you, please....you are worth it.
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  Gopher

  I have felt the same way, upset over an anonymous internet discussion where disagreement arose. Perhaps in my case it was partly due to being raised JW mixed with the introverted personality I have. At least in my family, we had a culture of avoiding conflict. I never learned then that conflict could happen between two people who actually might like and even respect each other. I thought conflict was always bad, leading me to hold back expressing my viewpoint -- or even worse, deciding to not have a viewpoint.

  Now that I'm on the outside, I had to learn to do what you did -- express my thoughts, but then also to realize that in the end the world would be a boring place if everyone agreed with me or vice-versa. In other words, nobody is necessarily better or worse for holding a different view (wrong though it may be, LOL).

  Also as an introvert in the JW's, I bought the idea that there is absolute truth. We were trained to mostly tune out thoughts that conflicted with what the Society taught us. For me it was a new thing to actually slow down and really listen to what people were saying, and not assume they were upset with me or thought ill of me if I had a different view. Growing up JW for me had a bad effect on my ability to relate.
• 

  Charlie Cheddar

  I wouldnt take it too seriously.

  When people discuss topics and matters on this website, because of varied personal opinions, feelings and experiences, it's very easy to disagree, argue and fall out with other board members.

  But lets face it, i think most of us on this board take advantage of the gulf of cyberspace that conveniently exists between us all here. If we had the same discussions face to face, i think many of these discussions would be a bit more restrained and not so opinionated.

  CC
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  finding my way

  Heartbreaker- Thank you for the advice on writing a list. I think that might really help. I'm reading 3 books right now (one on cult mind control, one of Franz's books and a pregnancy book) and 3 months away from having my first baby. I think you are right about a lot of changes going on right now. Slowing down and sorting it out on paper might really help.

  p.s. I wrote you a reply message.

  Gopher-Thank you for sharing. My family life was full of conflict, but as a child I learned to avoid it when I could by leaving the room or something but there were times when I felt like my Mother was actually forcing me to argue. She would come in my room and sit by my head on the bed (where I would go to avoid her) and bounce up and down unless I would finish what she considered a conversation (clearly a yelling match). So as a family we didn't avoid conflict but I never ever felt like I could win, even though I knew my Mother was clearly wrong. I agree that variety in opinion is nice and I do need to learn to not take it personal if someone doesn't agree. That maybe they don't feel ill of me like you said. That seems so much harder done than said. I'm used to picturing people saying bad things "what an idiot',"She mispelled that" about me or thinking bad things about me. I guess it will just take time.

  ~fmy
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  finding my way

  If we had the same discussions face to face, i think many of these discussions would be a bit more restrained and not so opinionated.

  Totally agree
• 

  shamus100

  fmw,

  REligion and politics are the worst things to talk about with friends.

  We are not face to face, don't know each other, and have different sensitivity levels. To make it work here you need a good sense of humour and not let anything get to you.

  I won't agree with you on some things, but so what? Different people make the world go around and makes it much more interesting!

  Take care - I won't rip your face off... but do come closer...

  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wgS0KgT5APc
• 

  Robdar

  I think you've received some good advice from the other posters, especially Gopher and Shamus. Since I do not know your gender or age, I really have nothing to add.
• 

  finding my way

  Okay you succeeded in making me laugh

  That is some really disturbing audio!
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  finding my way

  Rodbar, I'm a 25 year old pregnant female.

  Aka, Hormonal!!

  Shamus100, Am I doing it? does it come off as humorous or mean..?