Newly fading and having morbid thoughts about dying....is that normal?!

by 2pink 28 Replies latest jw friends

  • paul from cleveland
    paul from cleveland

    I've had similar fears as your own. I've been to a therapist and have been diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Perhaps this is what you're suffering from as well. Here is some information from the National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH)

    Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)

    What is Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder?

    Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, PTSD, is an anxiety disorder that can develop after exposure to a terrifying event or ordeal in which grave physical harm occurred or was threatened.

    People with PTSD have persistent frightening thoughts and memories of their ordeal and feel emotionally numb, especially with people they were once close to. They may experience sleep problems, feel detached or numb, or be easily startled.

    PTSD can cause many symptoms.

    Flashbacks—reliving the trauma over and over, including physical symptoms like a racing heart or sweating

    • Bad dreams
    • Frightening thoughts.
    • Feeling strong guilt, depression, or worry
  • nelly136
    nelly136

    people have been dying since the beginning, i should imagine most of us were fed on the fairy tale that we wouldnt leave school let alone die.

    at the hall as you lose count of the funerals you've been to over the years....all of people that werent supposed to die either, it doesnt actually compute that someday you too will die, theyre just the unfortunates who go before 'armageddon'. but its ok cos theyre coming back later.

    and then of course your concentration is focused on the golden carrot life thats supposed to come before this one ends...

    then if you leave the borg prematurely.....you're going to die......which you will eventually anyway whether youre a jw or not, but as youre prefixed to disregarding this life for the next one, you think you've missed out.

    so yup i think its totally normal that you'd find the thought of dying worrying, you've been programmed to fear it and it might take a while for it to wear off or for you to come to terms that dying is a normal everyday process in the human cycle.

  • wha happened?
    wha happened?

    My wife is still going through this. Now with her doubts she is concerened with what may become of her. I try to console her but she's struggling.

  • jwfacts
    jwfacts

    Hi 2Pink,

    When I left I was overcome with the fear of dying and obsessed with death; it was something I had not really contemplated as ever happening to me. I too went through Post traumatic stress and had to have counselling to train myself not to dwell on the negative.

    It has raised itself again lately now that I have an 18 month old son, but I guess for a different reason. I no longer fear death, but am constantly worried I will die and not be there to help my son grow up until he can physically and emotionally care for himself.

    I do think that the Watchtower (as do many religions) cultivates a preoccupation with death, as fear is a key way to keep members under control.

  • wha happened?
    wha happened?

    Fear of the unknown after death is cruel. When my wife gets into one of her what if moods, I give the same response. If I am the lowest of the sinners I am confident that I will be judged with the utmost righteous principles and mercy. If I've done right I am confident that I ill be judged with the utmost righeous principles and mercy. Either way I get a fair call

  • wobble
    wobble

    Dear 2pink,

    I think it is a part of many peoples grieving process as they leave the JW's. Leaving is very like losing a loved one, and many of the same emotions are bound to affect you,they did me and many others.

    Counselling is very good, just having someone who is trained to listen , and to help you through, is marvellous.

    Here in the U.K it is not easy to obtain good help, unless you can afford to pay for it,so I was glad of the loving support, help and advice I received, and still do, right here on JWN !

    May you find peace and happiness,

    Love

    Wobble

  • LouBelle
    LouBelle

    facing your mortality can initially be so depressing. I definately went through that phase, all I had ever known was a lie and now what was going to happen when I died. I can't give you that answer, there are some things that you need to find out for yourself, to give you peace.

    I know I may be sounding very whimsical.

    Honestly the best thing is to take it slow. figure out if you still believe in a god or not. Take one topic that you're questioning, research it, put it to bed and the answers will come.

    Oh and enjoy your life to the full!

  • Chalam
    Chalam

    Hi 2pink,

    Death is kind of a taboo subject in the west. We often only really consider it when it is upon us or our loved ones. I was just discussing that with my neighbour who's father-in-law died yesterday.

    Also, in death we are largely shielded from the physical reality of death. I never saw a dead body until I saw my mother's. Even though I had no faith then, I had a strong sense that she had "left" and I was just looking at her corpse. My neighbour is not a Christian but the words he said showed he believes the same as I do in this respect, the spirit leaves the body on death.

    James 2:26 (New International Version)

    26 As the body without the spirit is dead...

    As Forrest Gump says in the movie, "Mama always said, dying was a part of life". I think it is only normal and wise to consider what happens after death.

    i have been having doubts for years about the org, but it's mostly been just the past couple of months that it's really all unravelled for me. i'm at that stage now where i don't know what i believe about anything...esp about what happens when you die.

    and maybe it's just cause i never had to think about death before (was always countin' on that resurrection in paradise earth!), but lately i can't stop thinking about it! part of me wonders if it is also because death and destruction are main highlights of the Thrill Kill Cult....are these thoughts stuck in my head bcs of that?!

    I think that is totally understandable. You have seen through the deception that runs right through the WT teaching and now you realise they have given you a false hope in all regards, death included.

    has anyone else experienced this?? when does it stop?? i'm having terrible nightmares at night about it. i think i'm mostly all worked up bcs i have 2 little girls...and not having that "guarantee" that i'll see them again if something bad should happen to me/them is totally freaking me out.

    i mean, people who were never JW don't walk around all day thinking that death could be around the next corner....they just live. how do i get to that stage?!

    thanks for reading!

    You are going to get a variety of responses here. Largely, people do not consider death until it comes to them. Some have a false hope (JWs included), some hope for the best, and other think there is no need for hope in the respect of death (largely an atheistic view).

    Anyhow, I have my faith as you know. This says it all for me

    1 Corinthians 15:55-57 (New International Version)

    55 "Where, O death, is your victory?
    Where, O death, is your sting?" 56 The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law. 57 But thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.

    Romans 8:37-39 (New International Version)

    37 No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. 38 For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, 39 neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

    All the best,

    Stephen

  • AK - Jeff
    AK - Jeff

    I think, to one degree or another, most Xjws go thru this. After all, Christians are taught that they will die, and then be raised. Jw's actually believe that they have a fair chance of living long enough to not ever die at all. It is one of those 'unique' teachings of the cult. It is a driving force in all the other teachings. Jw's are focused on death - escaping their own [fantasy], and expecting mass death to the rest of humankind [morbid fantasy].

    SO it is a special doctrine to overcome in one's mind. Therapy? Maybe. But for most of us it is a matter of time and contemplation to put this lie to bed with all the rest.

    I have noted that in my family [post Jw], that the grandkids speak sometimes of their own eventual death in relative peace about it. They have never been taught to substitute fantasy for reality, and they know that death is part of life. Once you get that, and you will over time probably, the fear will just fade into honest realization of fact.

    Me? I'd like to live forever, but am unwilling to waste the present looking toward a future that is only make-believe.

    Jeff

  • designs
    designs

    2pink,

    Like Jeff said it will get better with time and with the new goals and pursuits that will come along. Armageddon, second death, Hell, god being angry or disappointed in you are all tools used by religion to bludgeon people into unhealthy states of mind. You'll get over it and look back like it was a bad case of the flu. Think how free you'll feel as you regain your inner health.

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