Did any elders wait for you to make the wrong step so they can punish you?

by asilentone 14 Replies latest jw experiences

  • whatcanIsay


    all the unique doctrines of the J W's are WRONG

    That is so true! I think I will borrow this line, I am going to call it the Wobbleque :-) Unless someone can come up with a better name for this quote!

    The elders are watching everyone for wrong doings After all they need to make sure that the congregation is clean! so Yes I was under someone radar!

  • OnTheWayOut

    No, I gave them a letter containing strong "doubts" when I resigned as an elder. I was past the doubt stage but couldn't tell them that. I faded away after that.

    I have three ways of looking at their treatment of me since fading:
    1. The "doubts" keep them scared of me pretty much and they leave me alone.
    2. They really just are not wanting to disfellowship me, so they leave me alone.
    3. They have no answers and/or are lazy about shepherding the lost sheep, so they leave me alone.

    The CO sent his wife to my door one time to retrieve a lost item HE left in the wife's car, but the wife was out of town by then so the CO would have had to face me. His action leads me to believe that No. 1 above is true in his case. But the rest of the elders have left me alone. Whatever their reason, I get more peace believing it's No. 2 above.

    It doesn't always work out so nice, but I am a believer in standing your ground to these guys. You don't have to give them enough rope to hang you, but you don't have to cower at them either. Find a middle ground or go out boldly.

  • Gregor

    When I was an elder we seldom had to approach anyone about transgressions because we had a pretty constant flow of either tattle tails or conscience confessions coming to us.. Mostly sexual. This was brought on by the Watchtower with their late seventies foray into sexual practices among the married, the dating, or the masturbaters.

  • wha happened?
    wha happened?

    I remember one day in the bookstudy from hell. The sister who had the apt we met in had a gathering. I walked in in shorts and a shirt that said Billabong. The Aussies here know what that is. So brother "thinks too much of himself" asks out loud in front of everyone, "What's a billabong?" I asked him what he thought it was. He said, "I don't know." I told him to look it up and call me. His response gets even more stupid. He states: "How can a bong be something that a Christian would involve himself with?"

    I walk over to the sisters computer and look up waltzing matilda. I had a word by word transaltion from Aussiland to Californian. Everyone gathered around the PC and a billabong is a.......................lake!


    Always looking to find fault and cast out like a evil Jehu

  • wantstoleave

    Lol....Billabong is a major surfie here. Probably THE most popular one in fact. Very pricey, but very cool :) And not only surfers wear it. Everyone does. Did you like Waltzing Matilda? Beautiful little song.

    I think sometimes elders like to nitpick. I have to be honest, haven't come across it much in my current KH. But in the past I did. I remember once going on the field with my family. Got to the territory, and the elder comes over to the car as we were all getting out. He says to me (I was 13 at the time, unbaptised)....'You need to go home and change your skirt'. I asked him why. Meantime my dad is walking over, because he's annoyed the elder didn't go to him, justifiably. He says that because the skirt sits on my knees, its too short. I burst into tears. I tell him its the only skirt I had, that I was out here to witness, not be judged on my clothes. My dad is by my side by this time and tells the elder that I've grown recently (I'd shot up fast) and that they didn't have the money to buy me anything. The elders response? 'Go to an op shop'. I told him I wasn't going home, that Jehovah wouldn't mind my skirt sitting on my knees and that besides, 'you see more in a pair of bathers than what I've got on'. He had no reply :)

    From then on, I made sure that my skirts were that length, even a bit shorter :) My mum was annoyed at me, but I told her I wasn't there to be criticised for my skirt, that Jehovah was the one that mattered. I got the 'skirt' talk many times more over the years. Elders even got their wives to approach me. But they eventually gave up, because I was very forceful with my 'I can't afford it' or 'this skirt is fine'. One time though, a sister and her daughter came into my workplace, in front of ALL my customers and told me in no uncertain times that I needed to buy a new skirt, that I showed too much knee, and I was setting a bad example. She said everyone was talking about it. I asked her who. She wouldnt tell me. I told her she had an obligation to tell me. She refused and started YELLING at me! I was mortified! Showing too much knee? !!

    That night my dad hauled the elders in, and got the matter sorted. The sister came to our house, with the elders. She denied everything!!!! I told her I could get all my workmates as witnesses. The elders answer? 'They are worldly and will lie for you'. What a joke!!! My mum by this stage errupted with 'get out of my house! Dont you ever call my daughter a liar!'. They all promptly left :) Next meeting, I had to act like nothing had happened. I kept my skirts. Noone ever bothered me again :)

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