Question on Divorce when NOT scrip free.

by wantstoleave 22 Replies latest social relationships

  • wantstoleave

    Hope some light can be shed for me here :)

    To cut a long story short, ex left me well over a year ago and filed divorce proceedings on me from another country. Was thrown out of court as the jurisdiction wasn't correct. Fast forward to today and I have now filed divorce and it will go through next month. I have not informed the elders. He attends meetings overseas. I attend meetings here (though infrequently). We have children together. He has not contacted us at all since leaving.

    So, I am divorcing the *%$!!!* to put it nicely :)

    My question is this: Can I be Disfellowshipped for divorcing him, given neither of us has committed adultery? (well, so he says, I don't believe him).

  • jwfacts

    No you cannot be disfellowshipped for getting a divorce. You can only be disfellowshipped if you get remarried or commit adultery before he does. When Mat 19 is used the Watchtower puts the emphasis on the remarriage part.

    Mat 19:9 I say to YOU that whoever divorces his wife, except on the ground of fornication, and marries another commits adultery.”

  • wantstoleave

    Thankyou for that :)

  • Black Sheep
    Black Sheep

    No, you won't get DF for getting divorced, but you will be if you bonk him after the divorce, even if you neither of you had been guilty of fornication.

    "Pay Attention to Yourselves and to All the Flock" Page 135

    A divorced couple (even if only legally divorced) who have sex relations with each other commit fornication. (Heb. 13:4; w82 9/lp.31)



  • wantstoleave

    Lol fat chance of that happening. He's history as far as I'm concerned. But thanks for the clarification. I'd often wondered about that, whether if legally divorced are you still scripturally together. Kind of hypocritical isn't it? You're tied to them for life, if legally divorced but not scrip free. Yet though you're scrip tied, but legally div, you can't sleep with them. What the heck? What a joke. In other words, noone gets any sex!

  • bluecanary

    You can lose "privileges" like commenting at meetings, being on the school and auxilliary pioneering. That's what they did to me.

  • Chalam

    Hi WTL,

    Personally, I don't hold any respect for the JWs elders, they are no more appointed by the Holy Spirit than the WT is "God's organisation" or pigs can fly.

    Thus, to my mind what is it to do with them?

    Anyhow, if you feel you need to play by the WT rules then here's an angle.

    Yes, the words of Jesus seem pretty final, that said there see to be some other biblical reasons to allow divorce.

    1 T imothy 5:8 (New International Version)

    8 If anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for his immediate family, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.

    1 Corinthians 7:15 (New International Version)

    15 But if the unbeliever leaves, let him do so. A believing man or woman is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace.

    Anyhow, why play into the hands of the WT and their kangaroo court? All the best, Stephen

  • flipper

    WANTSTOLEAVE- No, you can't be DFed for divorcing him . But one word of caution. If you are concerned about how the elders view you or your standing in the congregation and want to move on with your life in time and date others - DO NOT LET THE ELDERS KNOW or YOUR EX HUSBAND KNOW. If your ex or elders find out you are seeing other men and yet neither one of you had committed adultery ending the marriage in the WT societies eyes - they will haul your butt into a judicial meeting faster than you can blow your nose !

    I know- because this happened to me after my non-witness wife left me due to her drug addiction. I was going to coffee about 3 months after she left with a female friend to Starbucks - someone from the congregation saw me, then ratted me out to the elders. Immediately they hauled me in for a information finding judicial committee with 3 elders. For going to coffee with a woman friend as a seperated Jehovah's Witness.

    So think about what you want , be careful, pursue your freedom - but keep your personal life to yourself - it's none of the elders or your ex husbands business who you date. Good luck to you ! Peace out, Mr. Flipper

  • csp2033


    Are your parents in "the truth"? Are you close with your parents? If so, you'll want to become inactive for 6 months, then slowly fade away. I don't think they can DF you for leading a "worldly life" after you've become inactive. Any former Elders want to comment on that? I'm curious.


  • keeshondgirl

    I think different congregations respond differently to divorcing. I knew a couple who were married for a couple years and had a child. They didn't get along very well and the exuse was they got married very young so it was okay to get a divorce. They divorced then the man remarried someone else shortly after being divorced. He and his new wife went to a different k.hall so they wouldn't run into his ex wife. No disfellowshipping for either partner and even when he got remarried he didn't get disfellowshipped. I will never understand the watchtower rules. I guess he just couldn't hold a microphone for a while as his punishment.

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