Burning literature (pics) and police called on Snakes :P

by SnakesInTheTower 31 Replies latest jw friends

  • SnakesInTheTower

    So for some time I have been threatening to burn my remaining Watchtower literature. I had gotten rid of two bookcases worth via a thread or two here, mailing it to various JWDers for (hopefully) nefarious purposes. I was down to one last 32 gallon Rubbermaid container. My soon to be 8 year old step-son has been after me for a bonfire for a weiner and marshmallow roast.

    Last week I brought out the remainder of the literature and dumped it on the big pile of brush which, ironically, did not come from any trees on my property because I have no trees...all from neighbor yards dumping on mine...but I digress. There is a certain satisfaction in the ripping of old Watchtower books being ripped in half, as the old binding of an Insight book splits down the middle, highlighted pages blowing away. Really old literature has a special propensity for burning, as the paper is really old and brittle. Those pre-1970 Yearbooks especially share this charming flammable quality, the only redeeming quality that these books do have.

    One problem with that type of paper. As it burns the ash has a tendency to wisp quickly into the air. My first indicator of a problem was my backyard neighbor popping his head over the fence Home Improvement style to let me know that black ash was covering his car, one of which is an especially nice car. I apologized and offered to come around and clean up any ash or paper that had made its way over there. He declined that offer and said it will blow off easily since it was not wet and no danger of rain.

    My next indicator of a problem was the other neighbor popping his head over the fence to express the same concerns with my rather illicit activities.

    Sigh.... I want to at least let the fire burn long enough to knock the majority of the brush down and, of course, thoroughly burn the books. I made the mistake of throwing the Yearbooks in whole, so it takes a bit of manipulation with a rake to seperate the pages. Unfortunately, it also takes time, time which was running out quicker than Armageddon in 1975.

    My third indication of a problem was I heard yet another voice over the fence. Not a familiar voice. I overheard snippets of the conversation, my inflammatory activities being the topic. I popped my head over the fence and a black gal, whom I had never seen before, was there chatting with the previous two fellows about the ash that was, by this time, spreading two blocks over. Understand, I had no intention of spreading the Good News of God's Kingdom® that far around the neighborhood. The woman let me know she wasn't too pleased with my fiery message of doom...oh wait...she didn't like the ash on her car, my bad.

    I had my hose out and was hoping for a bit more time.....no such luck...I seen the faint, yet distinct, outline of a patrol car in the next door neighbor's drive through are adjoining fence. I then heard the car pull out. About 90 seconds later, right on time, my town's finest was pulled in my driveway. By the time the green cop had walked into my backyard, all that was left was a smoldering, and rather wet, pile of ash and a bit of unburned paper. After providing name and birth date, and a rather terse solilquy about the unlawfulness of open burning in our fair town, I was off the hook...this time.....

    ...but not before my 8 year old (soon to be) step son started to ask the officer a bunch of questions, one of which, had I not stopped him, was "are you going to give him a fine?" Yeah...gave him a freaking marshmallow....chewy stops the chatter. No fine or citation that I know of, unless the city plans on mailing me that little surprise later. Ironically, I can call the cops when one of my neighbors is threatening me physically and verbally (same one they eventually arrested for gunfire)....and it takes 45 minutes or more for them to arrive ..... .... but I burn a few damn books and the cops are in my driveway in 5 minutes. This time next year we are moving out of this place and this town....

    Oh, did I mention that all this time my fiancee was at 6pm Mass? So just as the cop is pulling out of the drive and down the street, she passes him. She pulls into the spot the cop had been, walks back, sees the smoldering ruins....smart girl knows what happened.

    I will not live this down. Crap. She has had good fun at my expense all last night and most of today. I love her anyway.

    So, the literature is gone for good, I remain free of any sort of bonds, either religious or literal, and I am still wiping egg from my face. No video, did take a couple of pics from my cell phone.

    Freedom is good. Fiancee messing with me not.

    Snakes ( Rich)

    PS...I would have taken better pics...but ....my extracurricular activities were interrupted...

    Of course, where I live, open burning is prohibited by Ordinance 6131 and 6448. Leaf burning is only allowed in burning barrels during certain times of the year...now not being one of those times. I live in a town so I was in violation...heh heh... been doing it for 12 years...never a problem before.

  • BizzyBee

    Oh, Snakes! This is so funny! Great story.

  • yknot


  • Open mind
    Open mind

    Not the "BE" book!?!

    Oh my goodness Snakes!

    You've gone too far!

    Throwing away your Theocratic Education like that!


  • jamiebowers

    But did you get to roast weenies before the cops showed up?

  • SnakesInTheTower


    Throwing away your Theocratic Education like that!

    haven't tossed out my MTS folders yet.... burned most of my bethel pics though...

    I wish I coulda gotten it on video..or better pics..it was a ton o fun..roasting marshmallows over yearbooks...white goo dripping all over those precious missionary experiences of marshmallows crossing marshmallow infested marshmallows...

    Snakes (Rich )

  • dinah

    Keep the stuff we can use against them, Snakes!

  • SirNose586

    Sorry the cops got called on ya...but it feels great to burn that rubbish, doesn't it? It's like the WTS demons can't possess you anymore!

  • nelly136

    at least you now know, if you want police in an emergency, dont bother to call them, just go light a bonfire in your garden and you're guarenteed a fast response.

  • Lillith26

    Tribal Dance BURN BOOKS BURN Tribal Dance

    We kept nice and warm by our open fireplace this winter- and the WT's & Awake mags add a nice green hue to the flames- Damn it felt good!

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