I can't get past the bitterness.....

by desib77 29 Replies latest jw friends

  • trueblue

    It is an image of a cute little puppy in a barrel of flowers

  • White Dove
    White Dove

    I know what you mean. I don't hang around preachy Christians because they annoy the hell out of me. Hahaha! I have friends who are Christian and know that I'm Wiccan, so we keep religion out of our conversations. I'm bitter about being raised a JW but know that it will fade in time on its own. I can't rush getting rid of the bitterness. Just have to let it fade in time. In the mean time, maybe mention that you are glad that your friend is so blessed but that you can't handle talking about it right now. If she is any friend, she'll get the hint. What she says to you would drive me nuts, too.

  • White Dove
    White Dove

    It even annoys me to no end when Christians capitalize HIM and HE when writing. It yells that word and throws off the whole message. Just sayin' cuz this is a sort of gripe thread Let's get one thing straight: The Christian god is neither male nor female, so the capitalization and even use of HIM and HE just rubs my female nose into the fact that MEN run the world and everything in it. THERE! Ahh, that felt better

  • Lady Lee
    Lady Lee

    OK I have been "out" since 1985. I still hate it when people get loud or preachy about religion. I have different ways of dealing with it.

    • If it is someone who knows I used to be a JW I tell them I am happy for them but I have a hard time listening to it. That usually quiets them down.
    • If they don't know my past I can choose a couple of things:
      • tell them why I have a hard time listening to religious expressions
      • ignore them and find a way to change the subject
      • walk away

    The nice thing is that we don't have to be nive and tolerant. We don't have to be forced to listen. We can in an empowering way choose to deal with it in one way or another without feeling like our feelings are being ignored

  • MrsPeaches

    LadyLee is right. After being a JW for so long you are in this mindset that it is rude to tell people you don't want to hear about their beliefs. Plus I found that I wanted to show how tolerant I was.

    But it's okay to say you don't want to hear it. Be tactful of course but you will feel empowered and your friends will appreciate knowing where you stand on these matters to. And if they don't like it then hang out with people who don't mind.

    The bitterness will pass, I can promise you this.

  • White Dove
    White Dove

    In order for the bitterness to pass, one must remove themselves from the irritant for a while in order to heal up a bit. Mrs. Peaches, you said it well. Good ideas, Lady Lee:)

  • I quit!
    I quit!

    I think people who talk like that all the time even irritate other people who believe like they do. I once had friend who went to some kind of pentecostal church tell me that it bother him when people would say God laid it on their heart to do this or that. He felt they were claiming direction when in fact they were doing what the wanted to do (as in "God laid it on my heart to to Disneyland"). When I had my house plastered the person who did it was a Christian biker guy. I remember one time he was trying to get a screw to go in a difficult place. When it finally went in he thanked Jesus. I though it was kind of silly but he was a nice guy and there are certainly worse things a person can believe in.

  • Cthulhu

    I find that making a situation laughable helps me to get away from the bitterness, but actually makes me feel like I've vented a bit as well. A lot of folks I hang around with are religious to some extent, but they also have a good sense of humor, so when they start up I'll tell 'em about how I too felt blesses, and how it must have been my prayer to the leprechans and unicorns, since they know my opinions. I usually get a chuckle and we go on with a cheerful conversation.

  • Heaven

    desib77... sounds like your crap bucket is full. I get that way some times too. Try to reduce or eliminate those things in your life that cause you to be bitter. I know this is hard to do. For me, I try to counter the bitter things with activities that uplift me.

    Maybe you need a vacation just for you (can be as short as 1 or 2 days or even longer if you can do it) or to focus on some things that uplift your heart. Maybe do something just for you at a regular interval.... whatever works for you. Some suggestions may be:

    1) Go for a massage.

    2) Watch a favourite movie or TV show.

    3) Eat something you enjoy.

    4) Exercise -- do something you enjoy. (For me, it would be horseback riding)

    5) Snuggle with your pet. If you don't have one, get one. Animals don't talk about religion and God. I like that!

    6) Take a course in something you've always wanted to learn about.

    7) Do an activity that's just for you. Maybe something creative. Even if you don't consider yourself artistic, create something... maybe a yummy tray of cookies, something decorative for your house or someone you care about.

    8) As Cthulhu says, Laugh! Maybe go to a comedy show or watch a comedy on TV or YouTube.

    Just a few things to think about. I'm trying to encorporate some uplifting activities for myself in my life as they have been pushed aside too long. As for preachy people, I agree with Lady Lee. Establish boundaries. If all else fails, excuse yourself and leave. Nothing says you have to stay. I have done this and it works well.

  • PSacramento

    Is there a particular reason what anyone should feel anything but happiness when another person, even more so a friend, is feeling "blessed and happy"?

    I mean, isn't that what we want for those who we care about ?

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