The Boring Life Of A Jehovah's Witness

by minimus 34 Replies latest jw friends

  • moshe
    moshe

    I remember cleaning the Chicago cubs stadium before the convention- yah know how Jehoobah likes it clean. Pull out the counters and clean out the moldy hot dogs, buns, chips, dead mice and rats. Musta made Jehooba happy to see all the free cleaning work we did for the Cubs fans. Funny, though , I was not happy, wasn't singing hi-ho-hi-ho, I love to mop and scub the toilets, hi-ho-hi-ho,it's a privilege ya know, 'cause Jehoobah loves me so, not like them apostates that he will burn at Arr-mah-geddon.

    JW's are very boring, yes they are. They have a kick-me sign pinned to their arse, which they confuse for godly persecution. They can't even muster up enough excitement to carry them through a real assembly/convention. You know, the ones that lasted 7-8 days and with 3 full home cooked meals everyday. They struggle to make it through a 6 hours circuit assembly and a 2 1/2 day summer convention. One of these days in the not too distant future they will get their excitement from standing in front of a computer printer waiting for their weekly Watchtower to print out, or maybe a message from the GB telling them that the great tribulation has begun.

  • lalaa
    lalaa

    "We're going out in Field Service, silly! Lots of people should be home and they should even have people over for cookouts. Lots of opportunity to tell them about Jehovah and the End."

    UGH!!! I always hated going out in FS on holidays. It's so rude and tacky.

  • WTWizard
    WTWizard

    I found it all a waste. Go to boasting sessions, sit for two hours (three times a week, at that). I never found it all that exciting to pass the damn microphones--they wanted me to hold it pointing down (the wired kind) when not in use (I pointed them up because otherwise, they could fall out of the holder and hit the tops of the chair with the sensitive part, plus it was the sound attendant's job to kill the sound to the microphones when not in use). And handing out the rags was more a burden than anything else.

    Go out in field circus, waste the whole day not knowing if they are going to let you go in anywhere near time. Most of the time, it was going door to door, meeting old men at the doors and nothing else (otherwise, they would have my partner take the calls). Getting in on their calls--wasting time wondering if they are really on their way out, or just the start of the next chapter in a whole 550 volume encyclopedia's worth of discussion. The best was when rap music was blasting in the territory and the witlesses that were with me got headaches on it, or The Price is Right is on TV and they refuse to turn it off for us.

    Everything else is forbidden. They did away with congregation gatherings on specious fornication arguments. You can't listen to real music ("With those beautiful new songs, why would anyone even want to listen to real music"). And everything you say is what you are told to--it is even in the Kingdumb Misery. You simply memorize the presentation, and repeat it at each door. So exciting.

  • minimus
    minimus

    A few years ago I talked to my elder friend and asked him if he REALLY LOVED the ministry. He said "It's the MOST IMPORTANT work we have!"

    He was dead serious. When I asked him if he felt it was fruitful knocking on not-at-homes, he said we were representing Jehovah and nothing is better than being his ministers.

    I was perplexed because this guy isn't that dumb but he truly enjoyed the worthless "ministry". How dumb can one be??

  • OUTLAW
    OUTLAW
    A few years ago I talked to my elder friend and asked him if he REALLY LOVED the ministry. He said "It's the MOST IMPORTANT work we have!"
    He did`nt answer the question..

    It may be the most important work in his life..

    But..

    Does he love it?

    The guy is a Kingdom Hall Troll..

    ..............................

  • undercover
    undercover
    A few years ago I talked to my elder friend and asked him if he REALLY LOVED the ministry. He said "It's the MOST IMPORTANT work we have!"

    An elder I knew said that JWs should love the ministry because JWs have to be "people lovers".

    I realized then why I didn't like the ministry...

  • OUTLAW
    OUTLAW
    An elder I knew said that JWs should love the ministry because JWs have to be "people lovers".

    You`ve got to love people,to bang on thier door Christmas Morning uninvited..

    ..................

  • ldrnomo
    ldrnomo

    angel eyes, you can come and clean my toilets anytime you want just PM me and I will give you my address.

    LD

  • ldrnomo
    ldrnomo

    angel eyes, you can come and clean my toilets anytime you want just PM me and I will give you my address.

    LD

  • angel eyes
    angel eyes

    hey minimus yup i do love cleaning actually :)) and forgive Jookbeard but his memory isnt very good,im not a retired police officer.....Im an ex police officer but never retired......how that would have been lovely though :) Working still now,but love my job too.

    Idrnomo hey id clean ya toilets but you live in usa...bit too far to travel from England..lol

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