Oompa.....I'm with Snakes on this, it requires some sacraficing on your part in order to keep close family relationships in tact, at least that has been my own experience since my fade began almost 4 yrs ago.
I too struggle with the thought that I must keep up some appearances in order to not have immediate family begin to shun me, and I had to come to terms with when and if I went to the KH with my mate, but we seem to have come to a compromise of sorts and it has gotten easier and there is much less tension in the house. And I'm not asked every meeting whether I am going or not, either I go in and get ready when they do or I don't, which makes it obvious.
Early on I was being asked when a good time for a sheparding call would be, no doubt spurred on by my faithful mate's request, but I always managed to not be available for one and now its been over 2 yrs since I've been asked, so that is mostly not an issue anymore...I think they do get tired of trying! And I see my meeting attendance, when I do go, as not hypocritical....I go for my mate, I don't pass myself off as interested or put on a show, I just go, am polite and visit with those I am inclined to (about non JW related subjects) and leave. I don't answer at the WT study, I don't make any comments of any religious nature, it's as tho I'm just a visitor, which is what I am. But, its a compromise I'm willing to make once or twice a month, or even the DC in the summer, to keep my family. I figure it's worth it in the long run....these are people I want and need and love and they're worth it.
It's not easy, I wish it were different, but it is what it is....I have my peace of mind about it all now, finally, and while I don't have total freedom in all things its enough for me to sleep at night and do what I want to do when I'm awake! Life is good.