If You "Date" Someone Do You Still Look For Other Possiblities?

by minimus 33 Replies latest jw friends

  • mrsjones5

    No, people date for different reasons. Some just to have fun and some to find a person to marry. Dating someone doesn't mean there is a commitment unless stated. Like the lady above, she may love the guy but he's not commited to her and frankly she's not commited to him.

  • minimus

    so.....having sex in a dating relationship ain't no big deal.

  • mrsjones5

    Depends on who you're having sex with. Plaything or love of your life.

  • undercover

    I'm married, so I don't look for "other possibilites"...I just look.

    But I do see couples who are dating, keeping the options open. I guess they're not totally committed, so if something, or someone, comes along that trips their trigger, they'll be ready.

    An example: I went to a friends Xmas party last year. Most of the couples there were married but one guy came with his girlfriend. She was the best looking person there. She knew it and she was dressed to impress (or maybe 'less' dressed to impress). At first he was pretty proud to have her on his arm. (how he snagged her, I'm not sure. It wasn't his charm, wits or looks...he must've had a big johnson or a lot of money)

    But then she started working the crowd. Any male within ten years of her age, she made it a point to go introduce herself to. She started with a buddy of mine, who is very charming and works these parties well. Too bad he was married and his wife gave him "the look".

    Next was my turn. Not as charming and out of place in these situations but she was hot, so I did my best to be charming (my wife was helping the hostess, so I never got 'the look').

    Once this girl figured out that each guy she was chatting up was married, she would slyly manage to escape to snag the next victim.

    After a while, her boyfriend...remember him? He brought her to the party...started to get pissed. All she ever said to him was, "can you get me a drink?" to send him away so she could flirt with whoever she was siding up to.

    I think she managed to get a few phone numbers or email addresses, even one from a married guy (not me).

    If that's the norm in the dating game today, I'm glad I'm out of it. I couldn't take that kind of pressure.

  • minimus

    See, big johnsons aren't the only thing. this chick sounds like she just loved herself! It was all about her getting attention.

  • undercover

    Yea, I'm sure she was an extreme example...I remember it only because she was hot and she flirted with me

    But having been out of the dating game for so long, I wouldn't know how to go about it.

    Nath, I agree that while in the early part of dating, you can't expect him/her to be the "one". It takes a while to know for sure. In the meantime, someone else might come along that really captures your attention.

    But once you've committed to that person, then you have to be true. If it gets to the point where someone else has your attention, one should be honest to oneself and dating partner and end it sooner rather than later.

  • minimus

    Well, I'm "out there" and I see people frequently put out vibes they are interested. Alcohol is such a terrible thing.

  • VIII

    Friends with Benefits.

    Wikipedia background and some rules:


    CNN on the proper way to have a FwB:


    NYtimes and the Stress FwB causes:


    Urban Dictionary:


    Being married and having a FwB is adultery.

  • minimus

    Friends with benefits....the best of both worlds.

  • megs

    So I suppose I would pose the question... Who thinks that sex = commitment?

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