Ministerial servant mentions more "empty nester" JW couples getting divorced

by truthseeker 32 Replies latest jw friends

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  truthseeker

  I was talking to a ministerial servant today, and the subject of marriage came up. He said something very interesting, that recently many of the friends he grew up with in the truth (he is in his 30s) are on their second or third marriage.

  He also talked about a more recent phenomenon that more empty nester JWs (couples whose kids have left home), are deciding they don't want to stay together and are getting divorced.

  We're talking about couples who have been married 20, 25, 30 or more years suddenly deciding to call it quits and it's not necessarily that they are looking for someone else; they simply want out of the marriage.

  Divorce does seem to be on the increase in congregations, especially the last one I attended.

  It reminds me of a scripture in Malachi we would sometimes hear about "not divorcing the wife of your youth"

  Why do you think divorce and separation are on the rise among long time married JWs?
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  nelly136

  its probably bad enough waiting for armageddon let alone being stuck with a partner you cant really stand being with until it arrives.

  if theyre not spiritually free to remarry and armageddon came tomorrow, does that mean theyd be stuck in limbo unable to remarry for all eternity?

  wouldnt that be worse than coming back as a resurrected neuter with the feelings programmed out?
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  truthseeker

  Good point Nelly!
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  AllTimeJeff

  It's true, and in my opinion, evidence that the GB doesn't have the control they once had...
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  truthseeker

  Is it because people are realizing that Armaggedon is not coming soon enough to resolve any defects or issues in their marriage?
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  truthseeker

  I don't understand it - couples who have been together 20, 30, even 40 or more years just deciding they've had enough. These are people who we would consider "old timers" in the truth.
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  blondie

  I think the real point here is that there children are all grown and responsible to God for their future (in their mind). The old cliche of staying together for the children but with a jw twist. There were weddings every weekend in my area (sometimes 2) starting in 1973 until 1975. Many hardly knew each other, in one case only 6 weeks. The rumor going around them that there would not be marriage in the new system even for the GC survivors. So if you wanted to get married and/or have children it was now or never. (see the marriage vow used by the WTS below). Although this was changed in 1969, this concept was still strong. So I see those from my generation now getting divorced having rushed into a hasty marriage and now having children able to be responsible for their own eternal future.

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  w52 6/15 p. 363 The Marriage Ceremony

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  The minister will then ask the man to repeat after him:

  "I, ________, take you, ________, to be my wedded wife, to love and to cherish in accordance with the divine law as set forth in the Holy Scriptures for Christian husbands, for as long as we both shall live or until the divine termination of the marital arrangement."

  Then the minister will ask the woman to repeat after him:

  "I, ________, take you, ________, to be my wedded husband, to love and to cherish and deeply respect, in accordance with the divine law as set forth in the Holy Scriptures for Christian wives, for as long as we both shall live or until the divine termination of the marital arrangement."
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  bluecanary

  It's hard to compare marriage today to marriage in the past. People in general are living longer than ever before. So we don't really have experience with remaining married for so long. Maybe it just doesn't work.
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  homeschool

  So are these people getting DF'd for getting divorced? There's NO way they would change their rules on this. Right??
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  The Almighty Homer

  I think the divorce rate is close to the average rate of where the couple are living and yes that might go up to 50%.

  The apparent realization that Armageddon may not be coming as predicted must have some effect on couples coming to realize

  they are not happy together and therefore as such are more motivated to separate.

  Personally I always thought the JWS was pretty pathetic regarding couples with marital problems, probably not the worst of religions

  but certainly not the best. There is the situation where when the children leave essentially putting more of a focus on their relationship

  and if not a very good one the two look into separate. Possibly when one of the members of the marriage realizes that the JWS faith is a farce

  they too may look at the marriage as being a farce and its deemed necessary to make a spit.

  This religion has the real propensity to break up marriages if one member stops believing and stops all associations with it.