Getting Offended: A Method of Control

by daniel-p 22 Replies latest jw friends

  • daniel-p

    I was always frustrated with how much counsel and advice was given at the Kingdom Hall on how NOT to offend others. It seemed like complete immunity was given to the person getting offended. They were never counselled to just mind their own business, but if anyone had any reason to be offended about something you had done, the elders, or that person, would be sure to let you know about it.

    Most of the time it was nobody's business. It was nearly always a matter of conscience. But for some reason, it was one of the primary methods of controlling behavior. No matter that Proverbs specifically discourages taking offense when none is intended.

    My mother was a perfect example of this behavior. With several different individuals in the congregation (all women of about her age), she sent letters explaining to them something they had done or some behavior their were exhibiting that she felt wasn't appropriate. These letters always caused a stir, and divided the sector of the congregation who knew about it.

    I've been at the recieving end of someone taking offense several times. One time was when I was trying desperately to pioneer while very sick and on the verge of homelessness. Aparently, the haircut I gave myself was too short, and some anonymous pioneer "sister" let the PO know about it. Eventually, I was effectively removed as an MS for this, because my compliance wasn't perfect enough. It was then that i really realized that taking offense at someone else was all too easy in the congregation, and the elders often allow themselves to be used for the satisfaction of others, if they themselves are not the ones initiating the "taking of offense."

  • BurnTheShips

    This is the JW version of "political correctness."

    You've been batting them out of the ballpark lately, Daniel-P.

    It is a powerful tool of control, and it is not limited to the cult. It is widely used in larger society.


  • bluecanary

    daniel, I wasn't aware that a man's hair could be too short. Do they not have bald elders where you come from?

  • jeanniebeanz

    Being offended gives the offended party official 'victim' status. As a victim, you can get away with murder in this world. Professional victims pout, complain, cry and by doing so bully their way out of any responsibility for their actions... they can do no wrong. Bunch of passive agressive mamby pamby crybabies that cannot even take responsibility for their own feelings let alone constructive criticism. Heaven forbid you try to reason with professional victims who believe themself chosen by God himself! Pure delusion...

    Good grief... your hair was too short so they removed you? omg... unbelievable!


  • BurnTheShips

    I'm OFFENDED!!!!

  • blondie

    The hot term is "stumble."

  • boyzone

    You'll find JW's take offense very easily. Everything offends them. Its down to the myriad of petty rules, written and unwritten, that everyone has to abide by, that you always end up upsetting someone's sensibilities. There's so little room for manouvre when it comes to personal conscience that its inevitable.

    Of course this extends to beyond the personal level to the whole organization too. Lets face it, the whole world and everyone in it offends Jehovahs Witnesses. This way they can continue to feel superior and self-righteous about themselves.

    But naturally, if JW's offend anyone else, then its only what they deserve as their worldly and therefore it doesn't matter.

  • BurnTheShips

    I have a bar/liquor cabinet in my house. I had it when there was book study at my place back when I was a Witness. Kept it closed. Apparently, an elder's wife was stumbled.


  • Scully

    Taking offense is a way for someone else to subvert another person's fundamental rights and freedoms.

    A JW takes offense that so-and-so is Inactive™, and takes it upon himself to chastise and judge the other person, in an attempt to change the person's behaviour, in which they have a right and a fundamental freedom to partake.

    A follower of The Religion of Peace™ takes offense at a newspaper cartoon depicting a book they believe to be holy in a less than flattering situation, and threatens to bomb the publisher and creator of said cartoon, in an attempt to subvert freedom of the press and freedom of speech/ expression.

    It's the cry-babies who take offense who get their arses kissed in this topsy-turvy politically correct world.

    Perhaps it's time for reasonable people to get offended at the unreasonable and illegal behaviour of these crackpots. Tolerance is for pussies.

  • CandleSurgeon

    That crap used to piss me off, I was so scared to listen to the music I wanted, dress the way I wanted to, or just be myself for fear I would "stumble/offend" someone. What a load, if someone can't deal with my long hair or beard then that is a personal problem. I'm so glad to be away from that suffocating culture.


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