Why is the act of stopping meeting attendance so significant?

by dozy 20 Replies latest jw friends

  • leavingwt
    leavingwt

    STATUS is everything.

    So are APPEARANCES.

  • chickpea
    chickpea

    i think purplesofa is on to the gist of it....

    if you arent drinking the k00l-aid regularly
    then the fog lifts, the fatigue lessens, clarity
    of thought emerges and all of a sudden
    you realize you have been marinating in
    a doom's-day atmosphere, surrendering
    your life to a cult!

    they HATE when that happens!

  • blondie
    blondie

    I find that many ex-jws find that the last and most difficult meeting to stop attending is the "memorial." I had someone this month tell me that this was the first year they stopped attending after more than seven years. When I stopped, I stopped everything. During my first attempt at fading, I still went to the "memorial" because my family indicated that all hope would be gone for me if I didn't. This time no more, no assemblies, conventions, funerals or weddings at the KH or with jw speakers. (9 years)

  • OUTLAW
    OUTLAW

    The memorial is difficult to stop attending for many JW`s..

    Because..

    That is the one they are endlessly harrassed into going to..

    ........................OUTLAW

  • blondie
    blondie

    Outlaw, I understand that but then if people went to all the meetings except the memorial would they be treated any differently. I think not. I always wondered why jws sighed in relief when a family member came to one meeting a year as if that was some talisman regarding salvation. If they do nag, just get call waiting, or change the topic. I no longer get any invitations.

  • zarco
    zarco

    The Witnesses equate meeting attendance with worship. So, in their mind, if one stops attending the meetings they also stop serving Jehovah. That is why some faders attend a meeting now and then as it seem to placate the judgement from them.

    zarco

  • sweet pea
    sweet pea

    When you announce you're not attending meetings anymore it crystallises in people's heads that you're blatantly deciding not to suffer with them.

    Cognitive dissonance at it's best. A combination of subconscious "how dare you leave, when we HAVE to STAY!" together with "if they are right and we have been wrong all this time....WTF???????????? - HEEELLLLLLPPPPPPPP, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" means that they will do all they can to get rid of you as quickly as possible so you're not around to be a constant reminder of the the conflict in their heads.

    Just one observation IMHO (we actually had one friend actually tell us that they expected us to stay and suffer with them , you couldn't make it up!).

  • OUTLAW
    OUTLAW

    Good Morning Blondie!..

    You are absolutely correct..

    You could make every meeting,miss the memorial and not much would be said..

    The memorial is a special event in 2 ways..

    #1: It`s the one meeting the WBT$ insists every JW should attend..It`s the one meeting no JW wants to miss..

    #2: It`s the last hope of getting a JW back to regular meeting attendance..

    I was asked every year to attend..

    Even thou it was known,I would never set foot in a Kingdom Hall again..

    It did`nt stop until I moved away..

    ..................................OUTLAW

  • passwordprotected
    passwordprotected

    Stopping attending meetings signifies;

    - no longer "loving Jehovah"

    - turning one's back on Jehovah

    - tacit admission of wrongdoing

    When I stopped attending the meetings, and told an elder (James Bovill) such, his reply included "you've turned your back on Jehovah", "Jehovah gives us two choices, life or death, it's clear which choice you've made", and "well, if there's wrongdoing involved it's best not to discuss it with others" (there was no wrongdoing involved).

    Christians are supposed to believe that salvation comes through going to the Christ. Jehovah's Witnesses believe it comes from going to the meetings.

  • leavingwt
    leavingwt

    What Sweet Pea said!

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