Why is the act of stopping meeting attendance so significant?

by dozy 20 Replies latest jw friends

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  dozy

  One aspect of the “leaving JW” process has long puzzled me – why can a fading JW become mentally disinterested , miss loads of meetings , become irregular in the ministry , perhaps even become involved in “minor worldly conduct” without too much concern from relatives or the elders over a period of years , even decades. Yet as soon as they make it become known that they are not going to the meetings anymore, all hell breaks loose. Elders dust down their OD books and come calling on shepherding visits , perhaps for the first time for many years. Family members start weeping and slitting wrists – long lost cousins and aunts suddenly start phoning with wild threats of imminent doom and email huge sections cut & pasted from Watchtowers. “Worldly conduct” , previously ignored , suddenly takes on great significance and judicial committees start being considered.

  It implies that as long as someone is going to the meetings , albeit irregularly , than that is OK , even if they do nothing else. Yet how often have the WTS condemned “Christendom’s followers” as merely being “pew fillers” , happy to go along on a Sunday occasionally.

  Is it because stopping meeting attendance altogether is regarded as a final , ultimate step?
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  OnTheWayOut

  It isn't the same for everyone. Some faders were highly active members, so even cutting back to irregular causes such alarm.

  But on your point, many family or friends or elders can overlook "weakness" because they hope something down the road turns the fader around. But they simply cannot overlook an "announced" or "declared" refusal to go to meetings. It's too much for their cult training to accept while still being hopeful.

  I was missing about half of the meetings when I declared no more. While the elders stayed pretty much off my back, it was heavy on my wife. It was a line she hoped I didn't cross.
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  Tired of the Hypocrisy

  Good question. I wish I had something profound to say in response. What I believe is at work is eyes opening completely to what they have been closing their eyes to. It has been a long time coming and maybe if we ignore it things will not be so grave. Then poof, you say it and their nightmare is suddenly real and in their face....
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  alanv

  Good thread Dozy, Even if you only attend a small number of meetings the witnesses will asume probably unconciously that you are still with them. If you stop meeting attendance completely, it is a pretty safe bet you no longer see it as important and you are therefor rejecting the faithful slave who spend most of their time telling you how going to meeyings as vital.( for regular indoctrination)
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  Cicatrix

  It isn't just the fading JWs that get mentally disinterested. The meetings cover the same subjects over and over again, and anyone who goes regularly will find themselves tiring of hearing it from time to time. Even elders, COs and DOs get tired of the routine. I think subconsciously, or maybe even consciously, the others are aware of this, and don't say much when some members miss occasional meetings. It only becomes a problem when a lot of meetings are missed, because people who miss a lot of meetings are not there, listening to the special WT language that encourages/triggers them to remain fearful of the world outside of the Kingdom Hall,and unquestionally obedient to the FDS and GB.

  This is also the reason that it becomes a huge problem when people stop attending meetings. If you are not there, you are not repeatedly hearing the current WTS regulations, and what will happen to you if you don't follow said regulations. In this situation, there arises the chance for you to start to reason on these matters on your own (and perhaps realize the authoritarian, overbearing nature of the regulations), without an accompanying "warning message" being delivered that creates a constant state of fear and anxiety, which can keep someone who is constantly exposed to this loaded language adherent to the party line.
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  Cicatrix

  It can also depend on your social standing at the hall. Some people can get away with missing more meetings than others because of who they know.However, this can also have the opposite effect if you are someone who has had a lot of "privileges" in the past.

  If you tend to use a lot of the WTS language when you talk, don't ask questions that aren't at the bottom of the paragraphs, answer the questions from the paragraphs, and haven't made a lot of statements or expressed personal opinions that alert the others to any possible independent thinking that you might be doing, you stay under the radar a lot longer.
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  WTWizard

  With me, so far they have let it slide (though there are likely hounders meetings to see about getting me back). However, I sense that it will all come to an abrupt end without warning--that they will go beyond setting up a meeting with me (which I will simply blow off) or stopping by my place (they will not get in, and if they do, it will be a place full of as many nasties as I can set up for them). They will find a place where they can physically and forcibly drag me to the Kingdumb Hell, hosted by someone that has volunteered (and that they have approved). That way, there is no way I can ever post on this or any other apostate forum, set up or look at (and enjoy) Christmas decorations, listen to rap music or Christmas songs, or do anything with any other group or political party (such as the new Twelve Visions Party, and other independent parties and candidates like Ron Paul who are trying to get our country back on its feet) ever again.

  Why such effort? Because they think I will make a perfect candidate for the Value Destroyer Training School after p***ing the next several years working around and on just plain men. Anything they think will give them their ultimate goal is worth all the severe headaches and sky high prices that it will cost--having to watch me every second so I will not disable their alarm clocks or their spark plugs, dogging every single one of their calls, or blowing the illusion of the "truth" at all the boasting sessions. And, if they strike without warning instead of trying to set up a meeting (which they know will only be a waste of their time), they feel they will have a better chance of getting me, and their ultimate plan, back.
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  Farkel

  :Why is the act of stopping meeting attendance so significant?

  Dubs have no problem disfellowshiping other dubs, but when dubs disfellowship them, it really pisses them off.

  Farkel
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  purplesofa

  When the meeting attendance offically stops, JW's know that the brainwashing stops as well.

  The very core of who a person really is, without the constant birage of propaganda going in

  is discounted.

  Deep inside JW's know the amount of constant input it takes to keep up the farce.
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  Wasanelder Once

  I always wondered why we needed so much repetition if we had the Truth and God's blessing. So, when I began the fade I found that people began to panic. It meant that I didn't believe in the WT or the FDS and the whole horse and pony show. THey were right. It let my head clear and I was able to see other views. W.Once