My JW parents met my wife, but would not see me...

by Confession 58 Replies latest jw experiences

  • Confession
    Confession

    Glad you enjoyed my story, Diva. It's been awhile since anyone's revived it here. Here's a little snippet...

    "At some point, perhaps around eight years old, I came to understand that this meant he wouldn’t be with us in the new system. I recall crying to Mom, asking why he would leave us. Mom was understanding, but tried to help me understand.

    “He’s been given a great privilege. He’s going to be a King in Heaven.”

    While this certainly sounded intriguing, I still didn’t know why, as a King, he wouldn’t be able to at least visit us once in awhile. Couldn’t he do that?

    “Well, we don’t really know. Maybe he’ll be able to. But don’t worry about it, honey. By the time this happens you’ll be an old man, and you’ll understand better. You’ll be proud of him.”"

    If it looks interesting, you can read the whole story here: "That Voice...My Story"

  • Billy the Ex-Bethelite
    Billy the Ex-Bethelite

    Well done, indeed.

    It so reminds me of the doublespeak in the recent Asleep! ragazine that Hopscotch started a thread on:

    July 2009 Awake p29: “No one should be forced to worship in a way that he finds unacceptable or be made to choose between his beliefs and his family.”

    It's just so sad that dubs are forced to adhere to a policy that they condemn out of the other side or their mouths.

    Just wanted to add that I Kenyan coffee! FIL doesn't happen to have a coffee plantation?

    B the X

  • flipper
    flipper

    CONFESSION- I agree with the sentiments of those who say you and your wife showed a ton of class. Thumbs up definitely ! I think it's always a good thing when our cult mind controlled witness relatives can see we have found happiness in love and relationships outside the cult. We are supposed to fall apart and become derelicts in the street - allegedly- to them. So it really creates confusion or cognizant dissonance in the witnesses when they see us ex-witnesses happily moving along in life. Perhaps you will cause your mom and dad to think a bit- if only to themselves

  • TMS
    TMS

    Confession,

    Your father must have faced some mental anguish going through a Pioneer Service School, knowing his son has "left Jehovah." If he's just going to the school at 76, that means that he's pioneered for a year and had not attended previously. Your situation could have caused him to examine his belief system more closely but instead he chose to "get closer to Jehovah" just over a year ago. I suspect he thinks of you at nearly every door he knocks on. He has good news to share with others, knowing his own son won't get "life." It's a hollow, empty feeling.

    Sixteen years ago this month our son was df'd. My wife and I had not yet experienced our epiphany and were still true believers, although disheartened. We tried to continue pioneering but each step in field service was painful and heavy. In an ironic twist, the circuit overseer called. He was leaving his assignment a week early after three years. Could I fill in for him as pioneer school instructor? I agreed. It was a very melancholy week for me, performing almost on autopilot. It felt hypocritical at best, nearly traitorous.

    Your dad must be feeling some of this. It's torture. The "visitation" you've so successfully navigated with the skillful assistance of your wife, is a superlative rescue attempt on several levels. It may or may not spark real introspection by your parents, but it has to give you some peace of mind.

    tms

  • greenhornet
    greenhornet

    My parents did the same to my brother. How ever on death beds they wanted to see us. I am sure your wife made a good impresionimpresionimpresionimpresionimonimpresionimpresionimpresionimonmotherimpresionimpresionimonimpresionimpresionimpresionimonimpresionimpresionimpresionimonmotherimpresionimpresionimpresionimpresionimonimpresionimpresionimpresionimonmotherevalimpresionimpresionimonimpresionimpresionimpresionimonimpresionimpresionimpresionimonmother.

    I think a seed was planted. This seed will germinate inside your mother and you will become a family again.. True love will win over those eval men in Brooklyn

  • greenhornet
    greenhornet

    What happened to my reply?

  • Balsam
    Balsam

    I remember when I was an active witness I would hear of such events among the JW's when there was grown children who were disfellowshipped and the family meeting with the their new spouses. Some were like yours and some were very warm where the ex-jw children were wecomed in and even shared a meal with the folks. It is so weird how each JW family would interpet how they should behave.

    We had a wonderful special pioneer sisters I had know for most the time I was a witness, and they always encouraged the families to keep contact contact with their family members disfellowshipped or not. But those two sister were rare and so loving that I always followed their example. Ann (one of the Pioneers) once told me," Jesus never turned his back on his followers even Peter who denied him. We are not turning our back on Jah by talking to those who have left rather we're bringing honor to our Creator". Once asked her why she thought the FDS was so fearful of us having contact with dis'fed family and she said she believed it was nothing more than a tool of fear. She thought it was very sad to turn our backs on one who left. When I told Ann and Alice I was leaving my husband and the witnesses they cried with me and hugged me and told me the porch light was always on for me. I had more respect for then all the anal retentive JW who worried about keeping the rules perfectly.

    Ruth

  • Confession
    Confession

    Ann was not terribly far off from where most of us are now...

    Once asked her why she thought the FDS was so fearful of us having contact with dis'fed family and she said she believed it was nothing more than a tool of fear.

  • Kahlua
    Kahlua

    You never fail to impress me. I'm glad you are doing so good. And you married a really neat young lady.

    I was surprised at your mother's reaction to your visit. After she agreed to see you last time I really thought she was softening and would be more open in the future.

    Maybe you guys can come visit us at one of the West Phoenix MeetUps.

    (Mene Mene)

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