by AllTimeJeff 58 Replies latest jw friends
Hey Jeff,
I don't post often, but do read much...I enjoy your posts. Please know you are not alone, I myself have and have had many of the feelings and experiences that you releated in your post.
The damage done by the Wacthtower Society is incredible, but your (our) testimony to surviving past it proves we're stronger than the cult, and everything will be alright. Give yourself time to continuing growing and adjusting, both in strength and in wisdom.
-Trebor
ATJ,
I alway's enjoy reading your posts. They are,to me, reasoned,logical and well thought out--and
easy to comprehend, thanks. I don't think you want to go back "up the river", "the big house", "the hive."
"Jonathan Livingston seagull's" can't abide being in a cult, they need to be free and to H&!! with
forced servitude and falsehood.
All my best to you,
lalliv01
*sniff*
Thanks everyone. You all made me feel good. (thats y'all from where we come from Dinah )
I still need to do a lot of self improvement... Hope to figure out how to make that work one of these days.....
Hugs back to everyone!
Jeff
It does all get better
over time
My anger has left me
I laugh at the craziness
of the cult
The damage that has been done
is done
My lost childhood and
my teen years are gone forever
My years as a young adult
and then as a 30 and 40 something
have passed
The pain and fear that I had
and suffered with (30 years worth)
has become a distant memory
NOW is what counts
As death now approaches me
(not soon I hope) I don't fear it
I have begun to live my life
as I wish. I'm no longer a slave
to a belief system. I'm just another
free man
I have discovered that nothing
much has changed......................
Just my putlook and attitude
...But I also think that those whom JW's call "weak" were the strong ones all along. Those that left without getting neck deep in the politics and power and propaganda....
I agree with this totally, but I would expand it to include everyone who wakes up and leaves, even those who can only leave in their hearts but physically have to keep going through the motions for their families. It takes great strength to go against the WTS.
Your posts have been a source of strength to me in my battles, thank you for being here.
ATJ..
As usual,good thread..
You`ve just described what a lot of us feel..Your not alone.....We`ve all suffered loss`s..
I`m still pissed off about it!
Afraid of being homeless?..Good,it`s no fun at all..LOL!!
And..It`s a lot of work to scratch your way back to the top..
I don`t think anyone gets away from the WBT$,without damage and life long scars..
I`ve lived in the wilderness for years..There is no place to escape,the damage done..
If you have family in the cult,the WBT$ is still in your life..The WBT$ has had this all figured out,a long time ago..
It`s only been recently that any of us has been able to fight back..
The internet made that all possible..
We are on a even playing field now and the WBT$ is getting thier ass kicked..
I`ve said it before and I`ll say it again.."Your a good addition to our board"..
We really don`t have to do much..Except expose the WBT$ at every opportunity..
Thats what hurts the WBT$ the most..The Truth about thier own Corruption,Lies and History..
The WBT$ is destroying itself from within..I don`t mind helping the process along..
.................................OUTLAW
Thanks for the replys.... I sort of feel weird to say all of that, but I know its good for me at the same time....
I laugh at the craziness of the cult
Thats something I would like to do more of... laugh. Just giggle or something, and not have it be because I just read a paragraph out of the Revelation Climax book. (can you believe we ever spent months studying for that crap?)
Outlaw, I sense you have packed a lot of living in your years, I always enjoy your stuff! :)
I just thought this was worth mentioning again... you said:
Even though I literally can't keep up emotionally with saying hi, or always offering words of encouragment,I always read what you're going through, and I always send my best wishes (my way of praying for everyone) It keeps me going.
This means a lot, and we all know (all too well) what you mean. Sometimes reading the incessant and very real pain gets to be too much for any one of us! What you have written here is beautiful, and I think it speaks volumes for the way so many of us feel. Lovely and understood. Thank you.
And this:
Revelation Climax book.
No. No I really can't. Remember all the furrowed brows at the book study, struggling to make sense of it all? Trying to wrap our Silly Putty minds around the little balled-up detritus that the Society handed us. Remember all the discussions on how "deep" and "scholarly" it was?
Wow.
You see? There are things to celebrate every day.
Did you know that I have a trouble with opening up and baring my real thoughts and emotions to anyone, internet or otherwise
Since I left, I have been struggling with depression and anxiety. I hate the fact that I was born into a cult. I find that since I left I have become a bit of a loner.
I think it would a rarity for anyone here to not agree that you are one of the very articulate ones, your command of the language
combined with your "at the top" exposure is a force to be reckoned with .
but is the hurts and disappointments we have experienced that still reach our Psyche. I think this would be a greater
place if each of us could "trust " enough and have confidence to bare and share out true deep down feeling without fear
of belittling or mocking because in the end, each of us has "our child person "deep inside... looking for comfort.. a pat on the head
a simple sincere kind smile . I believe 90% of us could easily have written the quoted words above !
The protective walls of hurt and pain serve a purpose... but true freedom and happiness can only come when you can
smash these same walls down again !! Thanks for your courage Jeff in leading the way ... risk has it's rewards !
Your courage , insight & honesty have helped far more people than you will ever know or even believe !! ....
thanks
Caliber
Sara Paddison, The Hidden Power of the Heart
If you are dealing with fears and insecurities from old head programs, have compassion for yourself. Just love your insecurities, fears and resentments. Release and forgive them as they come up. Judging, beating or repressing insecurities just gives them power. Then you have a pattern that never gets resolved. Recognize that your real security is built from your relationship with your own heart.
Jeff, I always enjoy your posts. You are doing a lot of good--maybe more than you realize. "Did you know I regret how I left?" Why is that? How did you leave?
