She Would Have Been Better Off A JW……

by DJQuimica 34 Replies latest social entertainment

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  Mr. Majestic

  Tabitha died in a car wreck a year after our divorce, she had been coming back from Lubbock and had been drinking. I feel that if she had continued to study with the JWs she might still be alive today.

  I heard of a newly baptised brother coming home from the convention last year and he died in a car crash on the way home. So in that guys case he died because he was a JW.

  The point is that shit happens in life, and one way of living doesn’t necessarily cause someone’s life to be better or worse than another. If she was that kind of person inside then she would have proved to be a miserable JW, being that her life would have been totally constricted and her true spirit would have been forced out of her. It would be better for her to be alive, but as I have shown above she could have died while being a JW also….. It was just a very unfortunate incident….

  Hope you can come to terms with your emotions on this issue….
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  bluecanary

  Sounds like she would have been better off in AA.

  Sorry for your loss and welcome to the board.
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  digderidoo

  Hindsight is a wonderful thing DJ_Q. Sorry to hear your story. Who knows whether she'd have been better off? I think we all have to get that partying phase out of us, for some of us the curiosity of it is strong, i know it was for me.

  May be she would have been better off, maybe she'd have felt trapped in the constrains of a JW life.

  Life is full of if's. If my uncle were born a female, you know what? ...he'd be my aunty. I know it's easy to say don't dwell on the if's, but the complexities of life and the questions we ask when someone dies is reality, if's are just our dreams and hopes.

  Paul
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  OnTheWayOut

  It's easy to say that someone wound up dead from their lifestyle so they would have been better off in another one.
  But with that thinking, all people would all be better off in prisons or nursing homes or comas or in restraints in a mental care facility.
  They would be better off where they are not allowed to hurt themselves, but where someone dictates their entire lives for them.
  We could say that you and she would have been better off in chastity belts that only the other had the key to, that way you would have remained faithful to each other whether you liked it or not. We know that these kinds of forced misery are not proper and neither is a life of being a prisoner to the WTS, whether it started out voluntary or not.

  She had a chance to try this different life and she didn't like it. She would have been better off learning about drinking and driving.
  But she lived how she wanted to live.
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  startingovernow

  When I read this story I couldn't help wondering if your real question was whether or not you were somehow resposible for her death, because you tried to distract her from the meetings/study. Either way, I'd say no, she would not have been better off a JW. There are plenty of other religions and support systems one can gain strength from that if one lives into their 100's they won't look back (after proper research) and realize they wasted their time in a cult.
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  AllTimeJeff

  When I read this story I couldn't help wondering if your real question was whether or not you were somehow resposible for her death, because you tried to distract her from the meetings/study. Either way, I'd say no, she would not have been better off a JW.

  First of all, this is a horrible thing to have to go through and deal with. I hope you are enduring. However, I think this statement by startingovernow is the correct one. My impression is that you feel responsible somehow for all of this.

  The fact is, we all are going to die. Who is to say whether or not she studied, if she would have went in a different manner? And what about her taking personal responsibility for her own actions?

  As you try to sort things our for yourself, I hope you will come to the realization that the only person you can (sort of) control is you, and that you are not responsible, nor could you have prevented, what happened.

  I wish you real and genuine peace of mind.
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  Gayle

  "Tabitha" sounded like a zesty gal, with a wonderful passion for life. It is sad that she couldn't find a type personal spirituality to temper herself from those dangerous ways, over-drinking and "DUI". However, many individuals of all religions and the non-religious do find that at some point to wise up in such ways. Unfortunately, "Tabitha" didn't get that later chance to do that.

  It is so that there are many "closet alcoholics" within Jehovah's Witnesses. Some have finally left JWs, and some recognized their addiction and straightened up in time. But just suppressing the true spirit of an individual altogether by a very high control person or very high control organization can be very damaging to the "psyche" of the person also and can gradually erode their better qualities also or even "break" them. Depression is certainly existent in Jehovah's Witnesses and many take antidepressants that they also need nowadays.

  So, it would be quite questionable that a person like "Tabitha" would have been truly happy as a JW in the long run. I just don't want you to have personal regrets. She was a person who made her choices it sounds like.
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  OUTLAW

  I knew many JW`s that would drink and drive..

  She could have gotten mixed up with them..

  With the same out come..

  ......................OUTLAW
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  BluesBrother

  Sure, she may still have been alive if she had become a J W ( If a truck never hit her one day in service ....) My point is that "time and unforseen circumstance" may strike us all and if you are not in one place, then you will be in another.

  It is true that she would have had a less dangerous lifestyle, but so would she if she had become a Baptist, a Lutheran, a Catholic or any other religion that was less of a cult.

  It seems that she was a free spirit who would have done what she wanted to anyway - do not blame yourself.
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  loosie

  I sorry to hear about Tabitha. My sympathys.

  I think had she become a JW her partying ways would have surfaced at some time. You can only hide your true self for so long before it demands to come out again. If she got baptized as a JW and then her partying ways came out she would have been Df'd and then shunned by all those people she thought loved her.