You Have No Witness "Friends"

by metatron 39 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  undercover

  Good thread...

  A couple of thoughts I've had about this:

  1. Faders remaining "friends" with JWs

  Anyone who has left the religion behind will not have any JW friends. Friendship is conditional on each member remaining loyal to the bOrg first, family and friendships second. One can have JW acquaintances or be friendly with JWs.

  I'm inactive...faded away. The JW "friends" I had before are mostly gone. I see some of them from time to time, but the friendship that was there before is gone. Is it me or is it them? Ask the dub and they'll say it was me. I left the "truth" and therefore left the friendship. I contend that that proves the point that friendships are conditional on remaining a faithful JW. I could still remain friends with them, associate with them, do all the things we did before, but the subject of religion keeps us from doing that.

  I see them from time to time and they are wary of me. Friendly...but wary. The days of hanging out, playing sports, going to movies or dinner is gone. Of the ones that are willing to do those things, they are not strong JWs themselves.

  2. JWs having JW friends

  JWs use "friends" as a buzzword. They speak of the entire group of followers as the "friends". Somehow this gives them comfort that all 6 million of them are true friends. But that's not really the case.

  Mostly, they're all acquaintances with a likeminded goal. It's not much different than schoolmates or workmates. They see each other every day, they're friendly and supportive to a point, but not all of them are friends.

  One can make a real friend through an acquaintance that we've come to know at work or school, etc. JWs can too. Many have become real tight friends. But they have an issue that other friends don't have. Let one of those friends leave the religion. Will that friendship survive? Overwhelming odds say no. What about friends from work or school? If they became real good friends, they remain so, even if one changes jobs or schools.

  I see wordlly people I've come to know who have kept up with friends since college and high school. Some have friends they keep up with from several jobs ago. They didn't keep up with every single person they were acquaintances with, but with the ones that became real friends, they work to stay in touch. Even if they go years apart, they'll find ways to stay in touch.

  That was very, very rare in my experiences with JWs. If I had a JW friend and he/she moved away, they pretty much moved away out of my life. I'm not saying it can't happen...I'm sure it does, but it's not an everyday thing. And again, that friendship falls back to the condition of remaining a faithful JW in order to keep it going.
• 

  bluecanary

  Because JWs often prey on the uneducated and and "less intelligent" (sorry for the truth here) they don't have the capacity to truly "think" for themselves.

  I feel like I have to correct this every time I see it. Jehovah's Witnesses are no less intelligent than anyone else. They are victims of mind control. Do some research on the methods cults use to indoctrinate people. Smart people fall for them all the time. They do not think for themselves, not because they lack the capacity, but becuase they have been trained not to.

  I don't understand why people who have been part of the b0rg seem so surprised about lack of sustained friendships upon leaving. I thought the witnesses were very up front about this. They are friends only with other witnesses. It's in the charter. It's only surprising when a witness does maintain a friendship with someone who fades (my brother has a few good jw friends like this).
• 

  Hope4Others

  I'm inactive...faded away. The JW "friends" I had before are mostly gone. I see some of them from time to time, but the friendship that was there before is gone. Is it me or is it them? Ask the dub and they'll say it was me. I left the "truth" and therefore left the friendship. I contend that that proves the point that friendships are conditional on remaining a faithful JW. I could still remain friends with them, associate with them, do all the things we did before, but the subject of religion keeps us from doing that.

  That is really true they do say "You left the truth" The Oct 15th WT....to be studied talks about those leaving Jah and not associating with them...so that

  would include all even faders. I'm sure as the months progress it will get stronger and stronger counsel.... I thought I had good friends one time we associated lots did things as family groups, camping the lake get togethers it was frequent....after we left it was like someone turned the tap off. We did have so much fun, its sad really how things go.....

  h4o
• 

  Mastodon

  Conditional love is not.
• 

  bluecanary

  Conditional love is not.

  I strongly disagree. Have you ever seen a woman whose been badly beaten by her husband, defend him? Were you impressed by her uncondintional love or did you think she was mentally lacking?

  I do not have children yet, so I cannot speak about parental love, which may be an exception. Other kinds of love are always conditional. The conditions differ from person to person. If your best friend joined the KKK and started lynching jews or blacks and telling you he hated your guts would you still love him? You qualify your love by placing conditions on it. You love the person you knew him to be in the past. You love the person you wish he would become. You may try to believe that a physical or mental problem is causing him to act in a way that he does not truly intend, another qualification. But you do not love the person who is acting in an evil way.

  We all have conditions. You may think that someone else's conditions are lame or wrong, but then you're free to not associate with those people. You can choose to associate only with people who honor the same conditions that you do,.
• 

  I discovered

  Hello

  Interesting post

  btt
• 

  chickpea

  i carefully keep my language in line
  with what i know to be the stated
  reality of relationship with JWs...

  i never call them old friends, just
  state the factual truth of the matter...
  they are people i used to know
• 

  I discovered

  1. Knowledge of a person acquired by a relationship less intimate than friendship.
  2. A relationship based on such knowledge: struck up an acquaintance with our new neighbor.
  3. A person whom one knows.
  4. Knowledge or information about something or someone.

  I used to say I have an acquaintance not a friendship with a witness because it never felt like the were really my friends.

  Now I say I used to know someone instead of refering to them as an old friend.
• 

  leavingwt

  Who needs enemies, with friends like JWs?
• 

  Spike Tassel

  there are "Friends" I never talk to, due to loyalty, but we still share "knowing glances". It's better, that way.