why am i here? (page 2)

Black Sheep

For many, many years I was un unbaptised, born in, still with a lot of remnants of WT doctrine banging about in my head. Trying to supress them while attempting to live a normal life.

It is not a good place to be in. Every now and again some event in the news would bring it all up to the surface and the fear and guilt all had to be buried again. There was no way I was going to get baptised and have to do all the stuff they wanted, and some of the stuff I would have to preach wasn't believable, so I would probably be DFd and shunned within weeks of baptism, so I was better off sitting on the fence.

A few days before I joined this forum, my father informed me that I had better hurry up and get in now because the generation of 1914 was nearly all dead, so Armageddon can't be far away now. I had heard this soooooooo many times. I threw my toys out of the cot and told him it was no closer now than it was 50 years ago. When he left I googled 'Jehovah's Witnesses false prophets'. A couple of days later I was reading a seven year old bound volume from my own bookshelf that was doing away with the 1914 generation doctrine. He was trying to scare me with a prophesy his own religious leaders had abandoned.

I bought a new bible and started reading the Gospels in the order in which they were written (this is not the order they are in in the Bible), referring to my Interlinear when needed. Within week I was a born in Christian and within a month I was an athiest.

Free at last

Cheers

Chris

cameo-d

Daft,

I don't think you can ignore religion.

You need to meet it head on and dissect it.

You will need some solid ground to stand on to know why you believe what you do.

Keep reading here.

As another poster suggested...start with "The best of" section.

Daft Fader

i am finding this all so hard. thank you for what your posting. i just don't know what to do with the information

AllTimeJeff

Daft, let me eat my dinner, I have a few thoughts to share....

lurk3r

My hunch is you may be over-analyzing it.

How are you just supposed to stop over analyzing it? Even when you know it's "not the truth", the residual echo can still be overwhelming. To hear a nonJW speak about Christianity, and have all your OLD thinking come back to haunt you, on one level or another, is hard to leave. As evidenced by this board, you can leave it, but it doesn't leave you.

You can take anything in, but you can't take everything out.

Thanks for your heartfelt and humble input Daft Fader. I hear ya.

besty

I think the point is that it's a journey with a destination you specify, perhaps realizing you have arrived a long time after you get there.

There is no need to rush the journey, but at the same time I wouldn't recommend burying the map.

Chalam

Hi Mr Fader ;)

i have left the truth and have made my life completely religion free.

in the few short weeks i have looked at this again i have gone a tiny bit insane. i have a lot of knowledge of the scriptures and truly want to believe in the doctrines but it overwhelmes me.

What is causing you trouble? You want to believe the doctrine of the scriptures or that of the WT? I guess you have seen enough of the WT to realise that the two are completely different?

My guess is this, you saw the truth about the WT lies so you left. However, there is something within you that's wants to believe but the heretical teaching of the WT is still floating around, hence the confusion.

My advice is you need a new teacher, the one the bible advocates :)

Hebrews 8:11 (New International Version)
11 No longer will a man teach his neighbor,
or a man his brother, saying, 'Know the Lord,'
because they will all know me,
from the least of them to the greatest.
John 14:26-27 (New International Version)

26 But the Counselor, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have said to you. 27 Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.
All the best, Stephen

AllTimeJeff

Ok daft, I only took my time because I take your question so seriously, and because I ask that all the time.....

So what are you doing here? You know, if you never read this, or post again, thats cool. You are #1, the top dog. I don't mean that to be or sound like a cliche, because it isn't. I swear to you that imo, the biggest victim of JW's is our own individuality. (of course, some of us are still way better off then others....) But the idea's that the Governing Body indoctrinates us with, that we aren't as important as the group is very devestating.

If you are trying to flesh out what you "believe", then my first thought is, don't rush it. There is a reason it hasn't occurred to you yet. It could be more things you must learn about yourself, more growth, more acceptance, more fogiveness. (of yourself?)

I am a big believer on these ex JW forums that when we argue, debate, opine, bullshit, laugh, cry, etc, we do it first for ourselves before others. It's a rather new experience to do that for so many former JW's, and it IS a big deal.

When I debate on occasion, yeah, I have a point to prove, but I don't ever think that I am going to change posters who disagree with me, as I do them. That's one thing this teaches me, to accept people as they are. I can still have my beliefs, and I don't need them, or you, to agree with me. I don't need validation, I just need to be at peace with what I try to tell myself.

May I suggest 2 pieces of reading material? This essay, The 4 Stages of Spiritual Growth was profound for me. It gave me a frame of reference in how I can "interpret" (not judge) other people. It also is revealing about how our needs tend to evolve over time, and that includes our spiritual needs.

The other essay is from a former JW who is on Ronnie's board. I very much appreciate his observations and unique points of view. I recommend Do Chistians Still Own the JW Periphery (Ronnies board edition) and Do Christians Still Own the JW Periphery (JWN edition)

The reason I recommend these 2 essays, along with the corresponding commentary, is that to me, these essays are refreshingly free of conclusions, conclusions that you, like me, must take ultimate responsibility for. I don't mean for these to provide an answer, but rather, a path, a way for you to (perhaps?) interpret what you are likely already trying to tell yourself.

The good news, is that you don't have to fit a mold, nor do your thoughts, feelings, or opinions need any further validation from a group, religion, or anyone here on JWN.

If I may be bold for a moment, I sense why you are here; you are trying to figure out more of yourself and more of your beliefs. That "spiritual" side needs to be fed, but the old traditional ways don't seem to fit, and its not comfortable, especially when others seem so comfortable.

It's that comfort, that peace of mind and heart that ultimately is what this is all about. I believe you are here to gain the final pieces of your own heart, for your own peace of mind.

To that, I wish you "God" speed!

oompa

run for your life?.....come and party?.......go back to your vomit???..........there are no answers but many paths..........oompa

i feel like kung foo's teacher

AllTimeJeff

If I may be bold for a moment, I sense why you are here; you are trying to figure out more of yourself and more of your beliefs.

Hi daft. I want to apologize for how I phrased this. Words do matter, and I have an opinion, a guess as to why you are posting here, but thats it. If it were me reading that, I would be slightly offended.... (a little, not a lot... )

Anyway, thanks for reading what I wrote, and please feel free to absolutely trash all of it.... It's just an opinion....

why am i here?

Hebrews 8:11 (New International Version)

John 14:26-27 (New International Version)

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