I told the elder doing the pre-baptism stuff that I didn't really want to get baptized.
At the ass-embly, I didn't say the baptismal vows. Just stood there. The attendant was mouthing, "say it", to me, or something like that, but I didn't.
When I got to the tank, the first time the dude dunked me without warning. I inhaled a bunch of H2O and kicked my way free from his grip. I rose to loud applause, spitting up water from my nose and mouth.
Once I stopped hacking, he tried again. Now this dude was short, and the pool was shallow. I had a hard time bending my long legs that far backwards, a la The Limbo.
He pushed too hard and my legs flew back up to the surface. One of my more graceful moments. More applause.
He said some mumbo jumbo about me not being fully dead to sin or something, so we had to go again.
I told him not to push, just support me. He did and held me down for a while to be sure. Pleasant.
This time the audience held back clapping until the bro gave them the .
I wonder if this bears a resemblance to the days when they'd dunk suspected witches, and if they floated, they were convicted. Or perhaps it foreshadowed things to come.