Not the cosmic experience of yours, but....
I had a recent surgery and am recovering. I had plenty of vicodin the first two weeks and was content to watch movies or just do nothing. I still cannot do much. But as I came out of the painkiller stage and just do it on my own, I have addressed the demons of my past. I thought about stuff that bugged me for the two weeks after the surgery, then started writing it all in a book form when the painkillers were gone. Next thing I know, I had two solid chapters finished.
It's sort of a Kyria Abrahams type of story, but mine instead of hers. I spoke with my dead relatives, not actually communicating to them but releasing some thoughts. I called a cousin, called an aunt and uncle- people who were in my life. All I can do each day for exercise is walk. I have walked as much as I can stand, but the mind has been busy.
I think you are purging some stuff from your past, some "what if" thoughts. I hope to get more out of the way onto paper before life gets too busy again.