When and should I tell my family I am pregnant?

by Free yet lonely 40 Replies latest watchtower scandals

  • cognac
    cognac

    Welcome and congrats! Were you ever baptised?

  • nelly136
    nelly136

    you are under no obligation to tell them anything unless you want to and feel comfortable to do so.

    Congratulations :)

    the yukky bit.......it might be as well to take care of some of the other nitty grittys as a precaution, (not that you'll ever probably need to use them)

    as youre thinking of putting off the wedding for a whiles until its the right time for you, it might be worth putting your medical directive in place so that your partner is your 'next of kin' or whatever its called in case of medical emergencies to make sure you get the medical care you want or need without jw intervention, and something on paper as regards the babies dad and parental responsibility etc, eg who gets the baby if anything happened to you.

  • Free yet lonely
    Free yet lonely

    Yes in answer to your question I was unfortunately baptised!

  • Free yet lonely
    Free yet lonely

    Ooh that is an excellent point as it would be awful if my parents were next of kin and refused me blood. The doctors have the babies dad as my next of kin but I will double check with the midwife

  • Billy the Ex-Bethelite
    Billy the Ex-Bethelite

    Welcome Free yet lonely! And congrats!

    Yes in answer to your question I was unfortunately baptised!

    Depending on the BoE and your family, you could get forgotten or dfd. I would guess that whenever the dubs find out that you're expecting a non-"virgin birth", the elders will contact you about coming to "meet with them". If you don't come, they'll disfellowship in absentia.

  • Diva
    Diva

    Hi, Welcome and Congratulations

    I would wait until after your sisters wedding if at all possible. That way you can't be accused of 'runining her wedding' or 'stealing her thunder', up to and including her wedding day.

    Pregnancy and babies do sometimes have a way of melting hearts. My sister for example, found out she was pregnant by her 'wordly' boyfriend and then was disfellowshipped. Our mother was aboard when all this happened, so I was left to tell her as my sister was too scared to.

    I must admit I was really impressed with my mums ,attitude because even as a devoted JW, she allowed my sister to still live at home, was there for her grand-daughters birth and looked after them both up to 2 weeks ago, when my sister and baby finally moved out - 15 months later.

    So you don't know what effect it could have on your family.

    I wish you all the best. xx

  • jamiebowers
    jamiebowers

    Congrats and welcome!

    If you absolutely don't want to be df'd, I wouldn't tell them anything until after you're married, even if that's years down the road. You could marry in a civil ceremony and have the big wedding later, and tell your parents about the baby. Or you could lie and tell them you're married and then tell them about the baby. But I wouldn't lie, if I were you.

  • mouthy
    mouthy

    Congratulations.

    If they didnt tell you about the wedding why bother
    to tell them about the baby.? If you have no inkling
    of going back to the WT.I would just keep on loving
    & looking forward to the newcomer...Because once the Witnesses
    get in on it, they will try to make you feel bad.

    Just an old ladies advice

  • Robdar
    Robdar

    I love the father with all my heart and do see myself marrying but we do not want to rush into getting wed because of the baby

    So, getting married is more serious than having a baby? You want to rush into having a baby but not getting married? Telling your parents is going to be the least of your problems. Whatever. Congratulations.

  • bluecanary
    bluecanary
    So, getting married is more serious than having a baby? You want to rush into having a baby but not getting married? Telling your parents is going to be the least of your problems. Whatever.

    Getting married isn't more serious than having a baby, but both are serious enough that it's hard to devote proper attention to both at the same time. She's already comitted to the baby. If she wants marriage to wait until she's ready to deal with that, I say she's making a wise choice. Marriage is just a legal contract. Two people can make a vow amongst themselves to love each other and remain together. They can sign the paper later.

    Divorce is kind of like disfellowshipping, in that it makes marriage more difficult to get out of but it's only a technical reason to stay with someone, not a reason from the heart. Having a kid will bind them together more than a marriage contract will whether they like it or not.

    Besides she didn't say whether or not the baby was planned and they've been together for a year, so you can't say they "rushed into having a baby."

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