WHAT WAS YOUR AHA! MOMENT THATIT WAS TIME TO EXIT THE BORG?

by freewilly01 28 Replies latest jw friends

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  freewilly01

  I had a huge light bulb ON moment as I wasy in therapy dealing with a nasty anxiety disorder for many years and having a huge trigger in my life finally silenced. It was almost the last thing that I thought I would end up doing expecially if you asked my wife and myself even a year before our decision to " LIVE " thats how I view it not decision to leave...........it was a decision to live.

  My therapist psychiatrist asked me WHO are you? I responded with my name and then drew a huge blank.............I had been so manipulated and controlled by guilt and social acceptance in the Borg that I really truly didn't know.........

  That was a moment that really started fermentation of a really profound thought just who am I?. I sort of liken it to a fermentation process of wine, U need the raw product grapes or in my case a brain that was full of thoughts and feelings that werent even mine and over years and years of being programed at a very early age I was nowhere with my self discovery as a person make sense? hope so. In many ways I feel that the religious part of my life really arrested me. I know for a fact that it did monetarily in that we are at least 15 years behind others our own age and sometimes I feel even emotionally it stunts your growth as a man and a woman to allow yourself to be so controlled.

  After 18 or so years of fermentation I am still a young wine ..... my mind feels clear and unclutterd I am more real than I have ever been more motivated to continue growing and learning about life. I now accept part of the blame in that I didnt act earlier in my life after having doubts from time to time. Didn't stand up and say Hey man I 'm outta here as some have done in reading their posts and who I applaude.

  So what was your AHA moment? What finally was the trigger for you to LIVE!
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  rebel8

  I already knew I didn't believe it and probably wouldn't be staying in it long term....but the breaking point was when the elders counseled me for being mad that my jw boyfriend was dating my sister, and the entire congregation turned on me for it. They said I was "Leah, the less-loved sister," and because there was a Biblical precedent (?), I should just accept that I wasn't as lovable.

  My so-called friends told many lies, gossiped, mocked, and verbally abused me for being Leah, the less-loved sister. My elder relative counseled me himself, on top of the local boe. He also enforced a discussion between me and this fellow--me being mad at him was not showing proper headship and I'd be dfd if I didn't stop being mad. He interjected into the discussion because I was 'too quiet' and required me to verbalize forgiveness repeatedly. They all required me to work in fs with him several days a week too, or face DFing.

  I vowed to myself I was outta there as soon as I could be. What a bunch of total loons.

  And talk about loving? In all my decades of exposure to that cult, I've never seen any of the so-called loving behavior they claim to be known for. Been to many khs, in different states, countries--all the same.

  I was a teen with no coping skills, so this was all particularly hurtful. I'm glad it happened because it prompted me to get out earlier than I might have.
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  Quirky1

  See Bonafides thread....

  http://www.jehovahs-witness.net/watchtower/beliefs/178608/1/I-had-one-of-those-discussions-this-weekend-Am-I-getting-anywhere

  I argued this very same point....
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  PSacramento

  While I was never in it, my personal A-Ha to never join was how the WT says the Jesus is Michael and the Trinity isn't biblical, but use the same mode of interpretation that Trinitarians use to justify the Trinity, to justify Michael being Jesus.

  The whole "billions will die" thing didn't when me over either.
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  freedomisntfree

  what stuck out to be about your post is the star trek reference. why are all jw's (present and past) such nerds? lol
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  wobble

  What amazes me about threads like this is that everybody has a DIFFERENT but VALID reason for leaving,mine was theological ,I could not accept the divinity of the GB/FDS,which is really what they claim,putting themselves ABOVE Jesus !

  It just shows you how far away from truth and reality the WTB$ and JW's are, the fact that so many reasons exist to get out, and fast.

  Love

  Wobble
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  leavingwt

  When the doctor told me that my unborn son might need some red blood cells.

  I looked in the mirror.

  I said to myself, "You're telling me that my religion would have me refuse lifesaving treatment for my unborn son?"

  I chose my son. (As it turned out, the blood wasn't needed. Still, my eyes had been opened to the crazy cult that I was a part of.)

  
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  Heaven

  Welcome, freewilly01!

  My therapist psychiatrist asked me WHO are you? I responded with my name and then drew a huge blank.............

  Thank you for sharing this! It's a great question. I think I'd like to use it with my father. I don't think he knows who he is anymore.

  They said I was "Leah, the less-loved sister," and because there was a Biblical precedent (?), I should just accept that I wasn't as lovable.

  rebel8... I am so sorry they treated you this way. Talk about completely unloving. I know what I would have said to them... but I'm not supposed to say those things on the Forum! All I can say is ... it's their loss!

  leavingwt.... awwwww! You made me go all squooshy and teary. I totally agree with you. Their blood doctrine does not hold up to scrutiny... nor to other scriptures in the Bible. And look at that sweet face! Gorgeous pic of the both of you.

  For me, it was subjugation of women. That was the big one. I also did not believe in their interpretations and I saw major contradictions with the Bible and their doctrines. After every study I was always left with the feeling that things just didn't add up. Many times my thoughts were "That's not how I interpret that."
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  insearchoftruth

  For me, it was subjugation of women. That was the big one. I also did not believe in their interpretations and I saw major contradictions with the Bible and their doctrines. After every study I was always left with the feeling that things just didn't add up. Many times my thoughts were "That's not how I interpret that."

  I don't see how any woman living in the industrialized world could put up with how women are treated in the WTS, and even moreso, what would the attraction be for a wife with a UBM.

  It is fascinating to me to hear things that have brought folks out, hoping my wife will have a 'eureka' moment!
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  frankiespeakin

  Mine came when I was smoking a big doobie while surfing the Internet. i was starting to read more and more on the Internet what what exjws were writing, and smoking MJ for depression when I came across and article on how mind control works, it hit me like a ton of bricks while stoned that I was under WT mind-control.