Haven't been to a meeting in 3 years...

by dudeson 19 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  Billy the Ex-Bethelite

  Welcome Dudeson!

  If you're going into the military, go with a plan. If you're thinking of it as a career, think very carefully about the downside. If it can get you specialized training and money for school for a post-military career, good. If you're looking at skills that would keep you out of combat, great. But it's your choice.

  Otherwise, my advice is to make friends and learn how to be a friend. Figure out what makes you happy and what will provide a long and pleasant life that you can enjoy.

  B the X
• 

  Blueeyes54

  I stopped attending for reinstatement in April. The local speaker referred to those who support the disfellowshipped as worshipping dungy idols. My son is active and lives with me because economicaly he needs to. So does that make him an idolator of a dungy idol? I waited for about 5-10 mins. to see if another elder would correct him and no! So I quietly picked up my bags and left. I am 54 and going back to school. I sacrificed my early college opportunities for pioneering. After what I sacrificed and the abuse I endured, looking back I would have chosen the Peace Corp. I have always had a social conscience and was raised to make a difference. Because I was denied missionary work, I think Peace Corp would have been a worthy alternative. The military breaks you way down and doesn't always build you up. I cared for veterans and they have not been treated well by the citizens or government of this country. You can get an education by other ways.
• 

  Gayle

  If any of us can talk you out of going into the military, then the military would definitely not be for you. I am a mom of 3 sons. I left JWs during their early teens so none of them were ever baptized, so had none of that DF/DA issue. However, I am still not political (vote as 'independent' mostly regarding on tax issues), and don't love my country that much for my sons to go into military.

  Two of my sons were excellent students, got scholarships and grants and put themselves through college and have graduated. However, I have had to come to terms about my son, Will. Will was not as studious as his brothers, an okay student but sitting long and reading for hours was about tortuous different for him. Doing things that were always physically demanding was for him. In his senior year, he informed me he was going into the military. We fought/argued a lot. I tried so hard to get him to change his mind. His senior year, he made honor roll for the first time, he said because he then had goals. He said going straight into college was not for him. He saw his friends that didn't go into college really got no where for several years anyway.

  He went into the Marines at Camp Pendleton, California. Wonderfully, he was stationed there at the base for 3 1/2 years, no military action for him. I could tell he liked the military, being in the field for workouts. A couple times he brought 6-8 other Marines home here to Phoenix for Thanksgiving. I found I felt privileged that he would bring them home. His Marine "bros" were outstandingly respectful and appreciative.

  Then, it happened he got called first to Saudi Arabia and then on to Iraq. Every day of that invasion, I was there with my son in spirit. I sent letters and sent "CARE' packages, some that never caught up with him till he got back, because the initial part, his part, went quite quickly. He was out of Iraq within 5 months.

  He finished his service in 4 yrs and a few months extra. Then, he came home and started college with his GI loan. He majored in communications and history. Now he was ready to study more than ever before. He could study and read for hours and truly enjoyed it for the most part. He graduated with a 3.49 grade average and 'cum laude.' President Obama gave the commencement at ASU. Now he is planning to go back in the military as an officer, probably going in about a month. Again, I have reservations about his choice but it is his choice and I respect him and as a mother I support him with all my heart.

  I hope the best for your decision and future. I hope your half siblings and possibly other extended family and friends will be there for you and supportive. If you go in the military, I also hope your mom just would not report you to the elders. She could just tell them you have moved. But I know she'll probably report you and she will be hurting herself the most in doing that. I hope your one friend still stays in contact with you. Most JWs are very conditional friends. Take care.

  out
• 

  dudeson

  Thanks for the replies everyone. I truly take it to heart seeing complete strangers caring about this decision.

  I took my test today and they gave me my AFQT score only. I scored in the 90th percentile so as far as career options it's looking as if I will have the choice of most if not all of the jobs they offer. The other scores will be available later in the week.

  Gayle-

  I have weighed all the pro's and con's one could weigh without actually serving for some time. This decision is mine and won't hold anyone account for it but me. Your son's situation sounds a bit like mine. I knew college wasn't right for me but at the time I didn't want to pursue a military career. I too will hopefully be using the resources the army will provide with college.

  Word will spread about it very quick i'm sure. The elders will find out whether my mom says anything or not. That doesn't really bother me as i expect everyone will hear about it sooner or later.
• 

  Butterflyleia85

  Hey dudeson,

  Dont know really what you considered bout Military but I know three friends of mine that joined after getting disfellowshipped. I personally think it's retarted but I kinda understand where they get that... anyways your story sounds like alot of ppl I know...

  Anyways yeah I just joined this post thingy last wk looking for encouragement and ppl going through sorta what I was going through... I'll be looking forward to see your posts!
• 

  dudeson

  I'm not disfellowshipped. I should be! But I'm not.

  I somehow made the perfect fade into oblivion without creating too much of a stir. I was only an inactive publisher when i decided to stop going so i wasn't contributing anything in the form of participation or ca$h.
• 

  CHILD

  Take your time deciding what you wish to do with your life. Speak with recruiters from each branch of service as well as several veterans. Weigh your options and take advantage of the benefits and job skills the military offer.
• 

  OnTheWayOut

  Welcome welcome.

  I almost want her to stay in the organization because it's all she has. Is this the right attitude? I really don't know.

  It's something many of us battle with. My mother, I would love for her to be free, but she is so invested in seeing her son who died 35 years ago, seeing her parents who never became JW's and have passed away. She has her brain tied up in being "right." That is what JW's really think they are, right or correct. Not righteous or holy or perfect, but right. It's hard to even contemplate shattering their world. I have made some attempts at it, but my mother is still locked in her beliefs.

  I hope someone comes up with an easy way to tell her you joined the military. We understand that it's like telling her that her son is worshipping Satan to her. I suppose just straight up telling her on an evening out to dinner. The good thing is that years later, no matter how she took it, Armageddon won't have arrived and she might be ready to have a relationship.
• 

  etna

  Hi dudeson, I'm still amazed at this site. People we don't really know and yet offering sound adive and not for any gain. When we were in the truth, we were led to believe there is only them that love us, but in reality Jah has given us all the ability to love without question and to help when we can. This site helps me deal with alot. Thank you all and hope it goes well with you dudeson.

  Etna
• 

  dudeson

  I never did really update this thread.

  Thanks for the comments OTWO and CHILD.

  I did tell her what I wanted to do as far as military. She didn't seem too surprised. But she upheld the "never to speak to me again" arrangement. Well, long story short, I showed her a few points about what the Bible really says as far as what the Society interprets those scriptures. She said to me, "The word disfellowship is even in the Bible!" I said no, it isn't. She got onto her CD-ROM to prove me wrong and, as well know, proved me right.

  We talked further and I even showed her the "Is it OK to change one's religion" article in the JULY 09 Awake and she seemed a little shocked when I read those few statements to her. As I was leaving to go back to my apartment she says she will still talk to me as long as i don't bring up "apostate teachings". I said fair enough!

  Fast forward to now and I have put leaving for the Army on hold. I was supposed to ship September 21. I need to get my shoulder checked out before taking the physical. Since I did get my job back I may postpone or even totally forget the idea for now. Time will only tell.

  Yes, Etna, this site is amazing. I have no friends who are ex-JW's and itis great to be able to talk about it with someone who really understands what the WT is all about behind the curtain.