by Alternator 24 Replies latest jw experiences
Hello Alternator.
At first I thought you might be a mechanic. But this might explain why you are here:
Multiple personality disorder (MPD) is a psychiatric disorder characterized by having at least one "alter" personality that controls behavior. The "alters" are said to occur spontaneously and involuntarily, and function more or less independently of each other.
Are you an "Alter" boy?
Nice to meet you!Welcome!
I was raised from age 3 in the religion. My parents were married, I was born and my mother expecting her next when the JW's converted her. She was baptized after my sister was born. My father NEVER talked religion. It "wasn't his bag". He wouldn't stand for it, from anyone.
He is viewed just as Farkel says and has the same welcome you have at all JW gatherings and events. He will drive my mother to conventions, and camp with the other local JW's...but not attend the assembly. He is welcome at all JW functions, and 30 some years later, as an unbaptized member of the congregation, he will be viewed as a potential. Until God kills you at Armegeddon, you are a potential. Any day your circumstances may change and make you receptive to the "good news". Please don't underestimate the mind set that controls this cult.
If anyone "preached" to my dad...he was ticked and threatened not to attend anything at all (weddings, open houses, etc) if he would be preached at. A wife with an unbelieving mate clings heart and soul to the scripture that he can "be won without a word". For another witness to jeapordize that possibility and alienate you from attending functions and being her partner there, would set any hopeful spouse into "damage control", so to speak. I remember my mother having to specifically tell certain elders not to witness to my father.
Remember too, if they speak to you at functions and mention anything "spiritual" they can count it as monthly service time. The savvy ones will make sure to add it to their report at the months end.
They will try to show you they are "normal" and put on a good show to try to convert you. It may not be out there for you to see, but it is there...like gravity is pulling you right now!
Congratulations on having a wife who will attend other functions with you...she is evidently a woman who treasures you and your desires. You are very fortunate!
Welcome to the Forum, Alternator!
I don’t attend very often because the conversation is always JW centered.
JWs are trained to recruit. This is what they do. They believe they are doing God's work.
I was made aware of the theme “What Did Jesus Hate?”
This is one of the many contradictions I have found with JWs. Hatred is negative and destructive. But JWs are taught to hate... especially 'worldly' people such as yourself. These types of contradictions and conflicting principles within this organization creates people who have increasing mental health issues. I know as I have family who have these issues.
Understanding that the WTS/JWs are really a cult will help you understand their mindset. They are being mind controlled. Depending on how much your JW wife allows herself to be manipulated and how strong her own mind is, will determine how well your marriage goes. You may have to get her into some specialized counseling should something happen.
I wish the best for both of you. And I agree with you... Jesus is supposed to be about love and positiveness.
Hi Alternator and welcome aboard!
I am here for slightly similar reasons. I have a good friend who is a JW.
Myself, I am a born again Christian so there is a similar spiritual "tension". We have agreed to disagree on issues of faith. I have mine and he has his "religion".
The Lord showed me is will be a long haul with my friend so I need to be patient for at least the next ten years or so it seems!
Anyhow, the Lord has given me other people to intercede for right now.
I recommend you pray for your wife as much as possible. I guess she is praying for you so it will be live Elijah on Mount Carmel.
Let's us see who the real God is, He surely will answer and not be asleep, away on vacation or such!
26 And they took the bull that was given them, and they prepared it and called upon the name of Baal from morning until noon, saying, "O Baal, answer us!" But there was no voice, and no one answered. And they limped around the altar that they had made. 27 And at noon Elijah mocked them, saying, "Cry aloud, for he is a god. Either he is musing, or he is relieving himself, or he is on a journey, or perhaps he is asleep and must be awakened."
I agree, love wins. So press on in love and pray the Lord opens her eyes.
All the best,
Stephen
In most circles JWs will never be outrightly horrid to you or treat you unkindly - they will be polite enough and as you've observed their conversation centres around their faith.
It doens't sound like you guys are going through hiccups, so if it aint broke, don't fix it. Continue being you and loving your wife and showing her that she is accepted for who she is no matter her belief.
Putting a spanner in the works regarding her belief would only lead to disagreements and awekward feelings around the home. Best not do that.
Yea, I'd say that you have it better than a lot of other UBMs (unbelieving mates)...
Dynamics of how UBMs are treated varies from congregation to congregation and from marriage to marriage even.
If you're comfortable and confident in your faith and resist their attempts at inviting you to the Memorial or other JW meetings, they'll pretty much leave you to your own devices. If you're a good husband and your wife loves you and respects you the congregation will accept you as you are, though you will never be in any of their cliques. Oh, you might get invited, with your wife, to some picnics or other social acitivties, but they will always be a bit wary. You are a 'worldly' person after all, and dubs are to avoid over socializing with worldly people.
Farkel is correct though...you are and always will be a prospect. Even if they accept you as is, their being nice to you is to hopefully show you that JWs aren't so cultish; their good folks, and they love God and want to worship him. That's what's so indious about it. Most JWs are good folks, they want to do right, they love God and want to worship him correctly. But they are trained to always try to "preach the Good News". UBMs are perfert prospects. They can show some hospitality and association and hopefully sway them to join their mate.
As long as both mates are reasonable and giving, then it is possible to have a non-JW/JW marriage work and work well. The horror stories come from when a JW is uber-zealous and causes problems for the non-JW mate who will never understand. On the other side of the coin, I've seen some ultra-opposed mates make it almost impossible for the JW mate to be happy.
Sounds like you're in about as good a position as a marriage can be when you're married to a JW.
Black Sheep: The children? 3 now adults. In childhood I did not object to them from going to KH with their mother and very often they insisted on attending Mass with me. For the most part their questions were directed to me. What has been the result - we have one agnostic, one Catholic and one JW.
Wow, That is amazing.
I wish I had your lot for a family.
Thank you so very, very much for giving your children that choice and for letting them ask questions. I wish I had had that luxury.
I give you both a very big hug. I have tears in my eyes just thinking about how nice that would have been for me.
Thank you
Chris
Edited to say I have tears running down my cheeks.
I just had an idea.
I can share with you how I feel about being brought up by two JW parents with this video from Michael Jackson.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dVJscGa5vbc
Plug it in to your biggest screen and best stereo to view it.
I hadn't seen this before yesterday.
Thank you for letting your kids have their childhood.
Chris
To ALL OF YOU your thoughtful comments have been informative and helpful. It pretty much boils down to keep doing what you are doing.
Cameo-d “alter” normally means to change; I don’t understand the psycho-babble meaning so I can’t answer your question?
Kitten Whiskers the difference between your father and I is I don’t go anywhere near the KH unless it is to drop my wife off when she has car troubles but your Mom’s reaction to others preaching to your Dad validate my perception of why she acts the way she does (she has never explained it). Thanks
Chalom I pray daily to our Lord that my wife and I have a true and understanding love for Him; that we have faith and trust in Him; that He give us the grace to live with each other in peace and harmony; that we always bear with each other’s weaknesses and grow from each others strengths. I ask Him to forgive our failings and grant us patience, kindness, cheerfulness and the ability to place one another ahead of self; I pray that the love that brought us together will grow and mature with each passing year.
Alternator, you're fortunate that your wife's congregation is lenient about unbelieving spouses. Hope your situation continues as well as it has done. If you and your wife decide to have children, then watch out. There will be conflict. Good luck.
