Did the elders in your congregation give counsel to those that were DATING? Good or bad counsel? (page 2)

insearchoftruth

In fact the Young People Ask book says no kissing unless "marriage seems imminent." (YPA P. 255)

Not just kissing, but holding hands and embracing.....quoting the referred to paragraph of YPA......

Is holding hands, kissing, or embracing appropriate,and if so, when? Displays of affection, when performedas genuine expressions of endearment and not selfishpassion, can be both clean and appropriate. The Biblebook The Song of Solomon indicates that some fittingexpressions of endearment had been exchanged betweenthe Shulammite maiden and the shepherd boyshe loved and would soon marry. (Song of Solomon1:2; 26; 8:5) But as with that chaste pair, a couple
would further take care that displays of affection do notbecome unclean or lead to sexual immorality." (Galatians5:19, 21) Logically, such expressions of endearment s hould be made only when the relationship has reached a point where mutual commitment has developedand marriage seems imminent. By showing selfcontrol,you can avoid being distracted from a primaryaim of successful courtship, namely . . .

asilentone

very bad counsel!

zombie dub

I was told not to be in my car alone with my then gf, I explained this would be difficult as my car was a 2 seater sports car. The elder didn't seem to grasp this though.

Other than that it was pretty easy, I ignored his advice and noone else seemed to stick their nose in - so it was wasn't too bad, I think it's a bit more relaxed in the UK though.

insearchoftruth

I think it's a bit more relaxed in the UK though

Does the application of these rules then vary greatly country to country, congregation to congregation....if so, who sets the tone for the strictness of application, the CO or the coordinator of the board of elders.......

IWillBeDubbedNoMore

I wouldn't call it counsel, but it was a reminder of the rule.

I was sitting in my usual seat at the end of the isle. It was a middle isle and on the other side was another set of chairs. I was interested in a sister and her and I spent a lot of time together out in service and socially. So, this one particular day the row of seats across from me was empty while the rows around that row where mostly filled up. She had brought some kids that she was studying with into the hall and saw that row empty. She sent the kids into the row and sat down. Well she was sitting directly across from me at a distance of at least four feet. After the meeting the PO comes up to me and after a little conversation about nothing, he gentle reminds me that couples aren't suppose to sit next to each other unless they are engaged. It took me a few seconds to figure out why he said that. I thought to myself he is crazy.

QuestioningEverything

Our congregation had an elder that mentioned during his talk that french kissing was considered porneia and that one could be DF'd for it-whether married or not. A few weeks later, it was brought up in the local needs talk(by a different elder) that french kissing was NOT porneia.

undercover

Some elders forbid the couple from sitting together at the meetings unless they are engaged. I have heard that said from the platform.

Same here. That was the rule in the congregation about the time I hit the age of dating and courtship. I remember sitting next to a sister visting our hall, just a friend, and you would've thought we had just committed fornication right there in front of everyone.

We had a C.O. once who said that dating couples, or any brother and sister, should not be in a car together alone, unless the sister rides in the back seat.

That was an unwritten or poorly defined rule in our hall. It only happened to me once or twice as usually couples didn't ride alone to begin with. I fixed that problem however. I bought a pick-up truck with a bench seat. We all had to sit up front then. I remember giving a sister a ride to a congregation picnic. We arrived....together in the front seat of the truck....oh the look of horror on the faces of the older dubs.

...and did you ever notice that the rule pretty much was defined as the sister had to ride in the back? How come the situation of a sister driving and the brother riding was never mentioned?

loosie

any brother and sister, should not be in a car together alone, unless the sister rides in the back seat.

I guess if SHE is already in the backseat then it makes it easier for HIM.

Open mind

Phone calls, e-mails & texting can all be "dating".

Don't do it!

Wait until you're ready for marriage, (and by then and are completely socially inept).

Glad I broke the rules. Here and there.

om

Scarred for life

They are obsessed with sex. They think they can control normal body cravings. Guess what? They can't.

Did the elders in your congregation give counsel to those that were DATING? Good or bad counsel?

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