How key was "Releasing the Bonds" in your letting go?

by lurk3r 14 Replies latest jw friends

  • lurk3r

    I finally ordered "Releasing the Bonds". Being a notorius procrastinator, I finally put it off long enough.ha

    Cognitive dissonance. I think I finally get it. I recognized it for myself just the other week reading a post, on the DC highlites. When the Society says "Education is a concious matter"...followed closely by, "Jehovah will not bless you", it creates the whole "belief" conflict. Have i got that right?

    I was curious about Mr Hassans book, for those of you that have read it. Was it instrumental in your letting go once and for all? As clear as it is so many times to me, that JW's do not have the "truth" exclusively, I still fall back into this whole line of thinking that I "should", and deep down I know it's the comfort factor. I'd rather be uncomfortable than live the lie. It's tough though.

    Anyways, I'm really excited to get the book! I WANT it. You come to all these little "understandings" along the way when ya leave. But so often, despite them, you get right back to "old thinking". Is RTB key in the process of rediscoveing ones self? How did it afffect you personally? Would ya share it with me?


  • Mrs. Fiorini
    Mrs. Fiorini

    When I first left the WT I read his book Combatting Cult Mind Control. It was of great benefit in helping me to understand my JW experience. Years later, I came across Releasing the Bonds. It also was very useful, particularly from the perspective of helping others who have been victimized by cults. I highly recommend both of these books. Anyone who has been affected by cults in any way would benefit from reading them in my opinion.

    You asked if it helped to let go once and for all. I would say yes. Because when you see clearly how cults work, you no longer think, "what if they're right?" It is no longer an issue of one religious belief versus another. You realize that the WT, like all cults, is all about manipulation and control, and couldn't possibly be "the truth."

    Some people compare this understanding to the scene in The Wizard of Oz where the curtain is pulled away from the Wizard and he is exposed to be a fraud. I agree with this analogy.

  • JimmyPage

    I haven't read "Releasing the Bonds" but will be ordering it soon as well. For me "Combatting Cult Mind Control" certainly helped but Ray Franz's books were actually more influential in freeing my mind from the WT lie. I'm hoping RTB will teach me how to free the minds of other JWs.

  • homeschool

    Was it instrumental in your letting go once and for all? I have a feeling there will never be a "once and for all" for many of us (me included). I read Combatting Cult Mind Control and it REALLY helped me understand some things. Don't fret that you procrastinated! I'm right behind ya!

  • lurk3r

    when you see clearly how cults work, you no longer think, "what if they're right?"

    Thank You Mrs Florini - I have seen you recommend these books many times over, as does Outlaw and others. I recognize that since so many feel its an essential read, it must be a significant step. I love the fact that it's not exclusively applicable to WT doctrine either. I would like to ask more questions...but will excersize some patience and try not to be too optomistic about it all. Thank ya. Im not so much stuck on the "what if their right?", it's more of a " I have a whole ton of shit floating around, I need to purge it somehow" kinda feeling. Perhaps instead of taking every question or thought, beat the hell out of it and make a decision, just drop it alltogether and start picking up what I feel I should pick up. I'm tired of wasting life on all of the things that matter, only because I think they do.

    JimmyPage - When you do order it, you'll want to make sure you order directly from Steven Hassans personal website. In talking to a lady there (his receptionist perhaps) with a fantastic accent, she asked me to "spread the word" with regards the order process. Apparently their distributor has gone bankrupt, and as a result, Amazon and other online bookstores are selling the RTB for insane prices now. She said they have a few thousand copies on hand, and its in the 25.00 range.

    homeschool - I havent given up...yet. Anything I CAN do, is better than not. I should have read it AGES ago though. It really boils down to Grow or Die, tomorrow is finally here. ( i ATJ wrote a wicked thread a while back on FadingvsLeaving (something like that) and brought out a lot of good points worthy of consideration. Did ya read it?

    Fading can be a long ass road. It's time to do it for me now. Selfish isn't always a dirty word.


  • wobble

    Good luck lurk3er !

    Ray Franz's books were sufficient for me,to never feel "but what if they are right" again,but S,Hassan's "....mind control" was illuminating too,havn't read his RTB yet. I found reading and discussing on here to be invaluable,still do.

    As I said, good luck with the fade, never fail to ask for support and advice on here,many have travelled that long-ass road,so they know what it is like.



  • boyzone

    I'd like to read this book too but amazon uk have got it at £33, more than I can afford at the mo. Anyone recommend a cheaper outlet?

  • Dogpatch

    boyzone, we have Releasing for a mere $25 U.S. plus $13 Priority postage at:

    Steve isn't releasing them to the public, but he and I are good buddies. :-))

    Randy Watters

  • flipper

    LURK 3R- I as born and raised in the witness cult. Got out almost 6 years ago at age 44 - finally. When reading " Crisis of Conscience " it was good- but mainly confirmed suspicions I had about the injustices going on in the organization. " Combatting Cult Mind Control " and " Releasing the Bonds " did really educate me on HOW to move on in life and it helped me to understand HOW I was manipulated into being controlled for so many years. Once you understand the tactics and thought processes that were implanted in us as witnesses the picture becomes crystal clear and your eyes really do open about the insidiousness of the WT society how they control their members.

    Reading those 2 books by Hassan will help you to lose your fear and guilt that were imposed on us. You won't have to be afraid of living or being yourself authentically anymore. And the 2nd book " Releasing " will assist you to see how to help JW relatives out of the cult as well. It mentions many experiences Hassan has had with Jehovah's Witnesses so it's good from that aspect. My wife and I are re-reading " Releasing the Bonds " a second time now as we implement our efforts to get closer to my 22 year old regular pioneer JW daughter. It is progressing slow but sure right now. We are taking it step by step. We shall see what happens. I've got a good feeling. These books are must reads for any ex-witness

  • truthsetsonefree

    I haven't read RTB. Combating Cult Mind Control was very affirming for me. Ray's books confirmed all my suspicions about the "org" and then some. Steve Hassan's book affirmed my feelings on how to leave and on how to help others.

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