Are you UNDERSTANDING towards Second, Third, and even Fourth-generation Witnesses on this forum?

by BonaFide 38 Replies latest jw friends

  • metatron

    I'll freely admit I am very unsympathetic even though I am 3rd generation myself. I feel that enough has now been exposed about the organization, its scandals and its lies -- and, in particular, that any Witness can access this information confidentially.

    On the other hand, there are many that are old and sick and can't even think about leaving. They are depressed and frightened and have no other options.

    I feel contempt for my long term Witness family in that I can't tell if they are shunning me or just never cared anyway.

    On a different topic, I think we have the Governing Body exactly where we want them. Desperate, lacking in vision and capable of making self destructive reactionary decisions. The possibility of a sudden meltdown is still remote but more possible than before. They could get caught doing something stupid. Those whom the Gods would destroy they first make mad.


  • no more kool aid
    no more kool aid

    My husband and I are 3rd and 4th generation. I just don't think that is any reason to keep doing something that is wrong and regurgitating it to your children. It's not easy but it had to be done like ripping off a band aid. Maybe being a parent made it a simpler decision.

  • 5thGeneration

    Hey, 5th generations are people too!

    You left us out! LOL

  • Scarred for life
    Scarred for life
    I feel contempt for my long term Witness family in that I can't tell if they are shunning me or just never cared anyway.

    I have very similar feelings about my JW extended family.

  • flipper

    BONAFIDE- I have compassion towards second, third, fourth, and first generation ex-witnesses on the board because the one thing we all had in common was being trapped in a mind control cult. Yes- it has at times been perhaps more challenging for those of us who are multiple generation witnesses ( I'm 2nd generation ) however ALL witnesses once they leave have to make new friends and start living life in the real world in the here and now. No more wishing upon the " paradise star fantasy " and living for pipe dreams. Reality comes to you in a very real and fast way. Just my take, Peace out, Mr. Flipper

  • Ruddy

    I was born in, 3rd generation, left at 28 years old, booted out, went through hell for a number of years (about 8 years), very suicidal ofen, did the wole drugs, drink and everything else scene, trying to find myself.

    Last 3 or 4 years have been brilliant though, no sign of depression, no anxiety, just eventually, after a lot of work on myself, started to carve out a new life, not looked back since.

    Sure, I lost all my family, friends, everyone I always knew, but then, life goes on. Sure, it ain't easy recovering, personally Wouldn't wish the journey on my worst enemy, but life does go on, there is light at the end of the tunnel. Now, I don't give witness thought patterns a second thought, just realise that it is what it is, a bunch of crazy lunatics exerting high level of control through fear onto the lives of other people.

    I personally now believe it's a load of crap, please pardon my French.

    You just got to keep plugging away at it, it's your life, not their's. Eventually, you do get to see it for exactly the absolute Sh** that it all is, it's not worth thinking about, giving it the time of day -- life is just too big and too precious, too wonderful to let such utter bumkum influence your thought patterns.

    Life in 'the world' is wonderful, it's absolutely fantastic. People generally speaking everywhere are nothing like what you have been led to believe. They are just ordinary people getting on with life in all it's permutations particular to any one culture, wherever you may live and there's some great characters out there.

    For the most part, people are honest, down to earth, kind and friendly, the odd grumpy old sod, but then you get that anywhere you go.

    As I said, I lost everyone, my wife, son, mother, father, sister, neices the whole schebang, what the hell? Life is too wonderful to sweat the small stuff. Family members, they come, they go, it's the same for a lot of people. We are nothing unique, nothing special, that's just life, you just eventually grin and bear it. Sure, it can be painful at times, but don't think about it, replace those feelings of negativity with positiveness, what other choice do you have?

    You can allow it all to eat you up from the inside out or you can get on with your own life, set new challenges for yourself, new goals, new objectives, take action and life kind of, sort of, rights itself again, believe it or not.

    It takes time for it to get to that point, it's sheer hell meanwhile, but life does get better with the passage of time, you just have to 'just be' sometimes where you are at, right now, in the moment. Life will self right itself eventually.

    There really light at the end of a very dark, long tunnel, if you keep faith in yourself.

    Know when to smile, know when to laugh, know when to cry, know when to scream, know that it is all ok, this is you, your life, your personality and you deserve something better.

    It's all good.

  • Scarred for life
    Scarred for life

    Great post, Ruddy. You sound like you have developed a great attitude. Thanks for posting. I look forward to reading more from you.

  • BabaYaga
    Purps said: A therapist once told me

    Your outlook will become different when you are not running away from something but running to something.

    Wow... I'm going to keep this one with me. Hear, hear. Thank you, Purps.

    (and bravo and hearty welcome to Ruddy, too!)


  • Billy the Ex-Bethelite
    Billy the Ex-Bethelite

    Good comments.

    I'm a third/fourth.

    BF, one of the things that maybe you feel too, is some measure of family loyalty. I would feel like a terrible ingrate to shun my parents after the time and expense of raising me, and to shun my family after the love they've shown me. I think that's the kind of "self-destruct mechanism" that's built into us born-ins. The cult grows all these poisonous vines through our minds and lives, entwining through our families and friendships. If you leave "da troof" you're turning your back on your family. That makes you a terrible person to hurt your family. But no, you want to keep your family and salvage relationships that you've had your entire life but lose the cult. Sorry. They won't let it work that way. It's been designed over the decades to make leaving as painful and difficult as they can make it.

    B the X

  • Scarred for life
    Scarred for life


    You're absolutely right.

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