by looloo 26 Replies latest jw experiences
Yes, Conac, I guess it does.
One congregation they did nothing, and the sister left anyways. The other congo I knew about the abuse, but it was pretty sketchy to say the least - there are probably no real standards, because the janitors don't have any direction and do what Jehovah tells them. (Jehovah=voices in the head)
That's sad, Nikki. Whatever happened to your parents?
There was one case back when I was a teen, a really sweet sister had an UBM who abused her on a regular basis. She was given the same advice, leave if your life is in danger but beware of the pitfalls of being single again. She left and went back several times until he almost beat her to death. She did eventually leave him, got disfellowshipped for having a boyfriend. Go figure!
They treat spouse abuse about the same as they treat child abuse---by looking the other way.
Dinah-what ever happened to my parents? Well, thats a loaded question, but since you asked...I will summarize:
1983 - mom & real dad divorced, then mom remarried my step dad who adopted me since my real father gave up his rights to me
My step dad was a die hard JW-my mom then became die hard JW
he became an elder, and mom a regular pioneer...I was an only child, and my life changed very much so in 1983
Later on, the bad disipline started...I left home and the org in 1992. I have not seen my step dad since 92, and my mom and I did not see each from 92-2000. When we reunited (my mom), she was divorced from step dad. She had become a an alcholic, manic depressive. We have not had the best relationship since. In fact, when we got together the 2nd in later 2000, I did not know she had problems with alchohol, until we went to Sedona, AZ for the day, and her & I were drinking wine...it seemed to be nice...I thought she just wanted to hang out and enjoy...well she had too much, and started talking privately to my husband...and my husband informed me of what she said...she wanted me to have the same problems as her...and she basically was telling my husband this...
I confronted her on the way home to Scottsdale, she came from the back seat and started pucnhing my neck and head...my husband pulled the car over and threatened to press charges after he stopped her while we were driving. She stopped and then she passed out in the back seat. I road for 2-1/2 hours or so on the floor in the front seat because I was so afraid she was going to go balistic again...when we returned, she woke up, and did not even remember what happened. Wer have never talked about it...
Fast forward to today, my step dad was paying her alamony per month, she got a settlement of like 600K because she wanted to remarry. That was 1-1/2 years ago. She is penniless, spent it, is currently addicted to all kind of pain meds...and has moved back to Illinois just last week with my aunt and I really do not know what to do.
It is so sad to see what has become of her, it breaks my heart....I do not know this woman. I am not quialified to help her and she lies alot because she is in denial, and blames everyone for her problems...I know alot of it is because of being in the org for so long...
Anyway, she is my mother, I love her...but it feel numb.
Nikki
Oh Nikki I hurt for you ((((HUG))
(i thought you could not get disfellowshipped after being inactive for 8 months )
Jean Eason who wrote "A Jehovahs Witness Finds the Truth " was d/f after 15 years
When my hubby used to beat me. The elders said I must do things to provoke him
ME!!!! Now you all know me You KNOW I couldnt do that
He wasnt a JW... But on his death bed ...Told me I was an Angel & wanted to become one of JW's I
used to pray with him that we would walk in the paradise earth together,he had a brother (CURRY)
who gave the buriel talk at his funeral .He had only met my hubby twice. But talked about what a
nice guy my hubby was .......I was pleased that he gave the talk.But some of my family that was there
laughed at his discription of him ..They knew him. But I knew him & I loved him dearly...
To KNOW them is to love them.....
((((Nikki))))
And Mouthy, I've heard of them giving the advice to not provoke them----whatever the hell that means. My ex would be already provoked when he came home.
((((Nikki))))
And Mouthy, I've heard of them giving the advice to not provoke them----whatever the hell that means. My ex would be already provoked when he came home.
It depends on whose wife they are hitting, their own or someone else's..................
There is information in the WT publications that a husband can be df'd for abusing his wife.........but is the old boy's club
fy chap. 12 p. 150 par. 23 You Can Overcome Problems That Damage a Family The Bible places among the works condemned by God "enmities, strife, . . . fits of anger" and states that "those who practice such things will not inherit God’s kingdom." (Galatians 5:19-21) Therefore, anyone claiming to be a Christian who repeatedly and unrepentantly gives in to violent fits of anger, perhaps including physical abuse of spouse or children, can be disfellowshipped from the Christian congregation. (Compare 2 John 9, 10.) In this way the congregation is kept clean of abusive persons.—1 Corinthians 5:6, 7; Galatians 5:9.
w88 11/1 p. 22 par. 11 When Marital Peace Is Threatened But if the point is reached where the health and life of the abused mate actually are in jeopardy, separation would be allowable Scripturally. Again, congregation elders should look into charges of physical abuse when two Christians are involved in the troubled marriage, and disfellowshipping action may have to be taken.—Compare Galatians 5:19-21; Titus 1:7.
km 8/99 p. 6 Theocratic Ministry School Review 31. Anyone claiming to be a Christian who repeatedly and unrepentantly gives in to violent fits of anger, including physical abuse of family members, can be disfellowshipped. [fy p. 150 par. 23]
w88 11/1 p. 22 par. 11 When Marital Peace Is Threatened But if the point is reached where the health and life of the abused mate actually are in jeopardy, separation would be allowable Scripturally. Again, congregation elders should look into charges of physical abuse when two Christians are involved in the troubled marriage, and disfellowshipping action may have to be taken.—Compare Galatians 5:19-21; Titus 1:7.
km 8/99 p. 6 Theocratic Ministry School Review 31. Anyone claiming to be a Christian who repeatedly and unrepentantly gives in to violent fits of anger, including physical abuse of family members, can be disfellowshipped. [fy p. 150 par. 23]
fy chap. 12 p. 150 par. 23 You Can Overcome Problems That Damage a Family The Bible places among the works condemned by God "enmities, strife, . . . fits of anger" and states that "those who practice such things will not inherit God’s kingdom." (Galatians 5:19-21) Therefore, anyone claiming to be a Christian who repeatedly and unrepentantly gives in to violent fits of anger, perhaps including physical abuse of spouse or children, can be disfellowshipped from the Christian congregation. (Compare 2 John 9, 10.) In this way the congregation is kept clean of abusive persons.—1 Corinthians 5:6, 7; Galatians 5:9.
w88 11/1 p. 22 par. 11 When Marital Peace Is Threatened But if the point is reached where the health and life of the abused mate actually are in jeopardy, separation would be allowable Scripturally. Again, congregation elders should look into charges of physical abuse when two Christians are involved in the troubled marriage, and disfellowshipping action may have to be taken.—Compare Galatians 5:19-21; Titus 1:7.
Yes - they can get d/f'd . I knew a "Bro" who was disfellowshipped for violence toward his wife. His defence had been that she was an opposer who badmouthed the cong. and "The Truth", that is when he got so angry..
But he was still disfellowshipped .He was reinstated in time and they were separated by then.
Like any case, it is not the action but the attitude that gets you d/f'd so in many cases the perpetrator will convince the committee of his repentance. Also, if there is no other proof he could well deny it and then it is just her word against his - I will not pretend that a lot of elders are not chauvinistic and ready to believe that it is the woman's fault, because I know that they are.
Like any case, it is not the action but the attitude that gets you d/f'd so in many cases the perpetrator will convince the committee of his repentance. Also, if there is no other proof he could well deny it and then it is just her word against his - I will not pretend that a lot of elders are not chauvinistic and ready to believe that it is the woman's fault, because I know that they are.
Exactly! In my case, it never seemed to matter to the elders just how crazy my jw husband was becoming. What started out as a slap evolved into kicking, choking, driving into oncoming traffic and finally threats of killing himself and me. Him being forcibly committed to mental institutions twice didn't seem to phase the elders. All he had to do was cry and confess to them, and they would counsel me to be a better wife and wait on Jehovah.
There is no justice in the organization; only submission.
Edited to add: If you want to see just how many jw men haven't been df'd for domestic violence, check out the "Battered Lambs" section at silentlams.org .
