Your opinion please

by sspo 27 Replies latest social relationships

  • OUTLAW
    OUTLAW

    If your divorced you can`t commit adultry..Your not married................................LOL!!...OUTLAW

  • reniaa
    reniaa

    I would say if you have had a sexual relationship since you separated you should do what she asks since All you are doing then is cutting off your nose despite your face. Why punish her for separating from you this way?

    It is not a foregone conclusion you would get df'd since you haven't been a practising witness for two years and do not identify yourself as a witness ,that been said it is not guarenteed that you won't get df'd, although they may just file away the letter and accept your wife has grounds for divorce.

    Personally if I knew my ex had commited adultery giving me grounds for divorce in Gods eyes but refused to provide a letter I would divorce him anyway making sure the elders knew I had done everything I could to get the proof were possible and accept the consequences of not being able to provide a piece or paper. but you say you are already divorced so she could remarry? Is the paper she wants so she can remarry?

    This being said if you haven't had a sexual relationship with someone else since your separation Do not admit to it. Lying would be wrong and especially if she knows you are lying.

    Reniaa

  • restrangled
    restrangled

    sspo....

    Please be very careful. I have a cousin who posts here with a very similar story. She left an abusive elder husband after many years. He was chomping at the bit to start dating and talked her into writing a letter of the sort you are talking about.

    Don't do it! She was made out to be the horrible wife, disfellowshipped in absentia, and he was free to start running around which he promptly did the same week.

    Don't give her the satisfaction.

    r.

  • rebel8
    rebel8

    I don't see any reason to help your wife escape the natural consequences of her bad choice to remain in the cult, unless you want to help her stay in.

  • carla
    carla

    Why play by their rules? You are no longer a member of the cult you owe them no such letter.

    As a side note, you guys have no idea how insane the whole 'write a letter of adultery for the elders so I can remarry' sounds to outsiders.

  • bluecanary
    bluecanary

    I dropped off the radar when I moved out of state. I've already given my ex grounds to remarry but hopefully he'll never know. He's legally free to remarry whomever he chooses as your ex is. If they want to play by the rules of their religion, let them.

    As for me, not giving him the opportunity to remarry will hopefully protect some naive witness girl from marrying him and ending up in the same situation I did. I do have compassion for young sisters who are sincere just as I was.

  • flipper
    flipper

    SSPO- I agree with everyone here- except Reniaa - you owe the elders no explanation for what's going on in your personal life. And since your wife divorced you on " unscriptural grounds " initially - that's HER problem if she can't get laid by the witnesses rules - she shouldn't have divorced you then. No reason to feel sorry for her because she gives away all her power to a mind control cult. She has made her own bed of roses here. Let her lay in it.

    There is every reason to believe if you DID confess and write a letter to the elders that you had committed adultery - they indeed WOULD DF you because of it being over a period of time since you've been out - they'd probably think you made a practice of it - without repenting. Then you'd really be screwed because your witness adult children would probably shun you and if you wanted them back in your life- you'd then have to play the " going to meetings for a year or two repenting game " to get reinstated just to talk to your children. To go through all THAT so your JW wife can re-marry and get laid - I don't think so . It's too much to sacrifice. Just my humble opinion

  • sspo
    sspo

    Reniaa

    She's the one that made the decision to leave contrary to what the bible says.

    No one is trying to punish her, after 26 years of marriage she chose the watchtower over her marriage

    which caused the family breakup.

  • Chalam
    Chalam

    Hi,

    won't give you all the details but wife divorced me for being an "apostate" "spiritual endangerment" even though there was

    no ground for scriptural divorce. I was never DF or DA.

    Just to make it clear, the only biblical ground for divorce are death, adultery or if the unbelieving spouse leaves.

    1 Corinthians 7:10-15 (New International Version)

    10 To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife must not separate from her husband. 11 But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife.

    12 To the rest I say this (I, not the Lord): If any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her. 13 And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him. 14 For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy.

    15 But if the unbeliever leaves, let him do so. A believing man or woman is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace.

    All the best,

    Stephen

  • Black Sheep
    Black Sheep

    There is no way I would write such a letter.

    Sure, JWs don't make their stupid rules, but if they choose to live by them, they should suffer the consequences of those choices.

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