Update from Open Mind.

by Open mind 34 Replies latest jw experiences


    OM..Welcome home!..So your still an Elder..LOL!!........Do what you have to do..................OUTLAW

  • compound complex
    compound complex

    Thanks, Open Mind, for letting us know what's happening with you and yours. It sounds pretty heavy duty what you're dealing with.

    Best wishes and welcome back.


  • choosing life
    choosing life

    Glad things are going according to plan for you. I miss your posts too. I have to say, I would avoid the dunking of the oldest if at all possible. You know your family's situation better than I do though.

  • penny2

    Still an elder! Wow, interesting. I hope there are more elders like you. A pity you can't post more often but I can understand why you wouldn't want to use the home computer for posting.


  • Open mind
    Open mind

    If you're going to remain an "active" JW, I highly recommend the path of very flaky elder.

    I'm never available for JCs.

    I rarely do shepherding. When I do it's just being nice to older ones who actually appreciate the company.

    I don't support any local rule-making by the body.

    For some reason, the quality of my public speaking has deteriorated, so I don't get nearly as many assignments as I used to.

    If I'm assigned a part that I just can't bring myself to cover, like how to shun DFed relatives for instance, I'll do a last-minute cancellation, thus adding to the joy of my fellow hounders.

    Parts I do handle I make sure to go off on semi-interesting tangents, or focus on the few actual good bits & brush past the "Worship the Slave" parts.

    When it's just me and the fellow hounders I try to see how many times I can cram in "The Slave Class" into every sentence, just to keep them guessing.

    Whenever a fellow hounder decides to "counsel" me, which isn't very often, I'm completely receptive and thankful. And then keep on doing what I was doing.

    I always blow off at least one very visible portion of the CO Visit. Either Saturday morning service, the Elders & MS meeting or one of the actual meetings that week.

    My kids can have a good time living a semi-double life and we never get a shepherding call.

    My kids are included in lots of parties with surrounding congos partially because I'm an elder.

    My kids get an inside look at the men "behind the curtain" and realize that most of what goes on is just politics, maneuvering and controlling behavior.

    Everyone knows the kids are going to college and no one has batted an eye. Yet.

    I specifically asked my oldest if his/her preference was for me to get removed or keep my elder hat. He/she wants me to stay if I don't go crazy. The social perks are a good thing.

    I have no qualms about using this Organization to my own family's benefit when I can.


    (Old Machiavelli)

  • sweet pea
    sweet pea

    OM, you are the coolest!

    You are an inspiration. There's no point in trying to convince you to deter your child from getting baptised - it's obvious you and your family all know what you're doing and are using the organsation to your own benefit 100pc. Hats off to you. Best of both worlds (almost - integrity?). Theocratic warfare meets its match.

    Thanks for the update. It's good to hear how ya doin.

  • Mickey mouse
    Mickey mouse

    Wow. Kudos to you.

  • truthlover

    OM - a question.... is there anything re the changes in the org that you would care to share???

    and keep up the good work

  • OnTheWayOut

    Some might be tiptoeing around here and saying nice things. I am not among them.

    As for baptism, no minor child of mine will hit the pool without a major intervention from both my wife & I.

    If your wife is so far along in her path to independent thinking that she sees the need for a child to wait, you are ready to take the next step toward an eventual fade.

    Over 18, what they do with eyes wide open is their choice.

    Sure, it's their adult decision. But it's mucked up by the adult JW's in their lives. Take a stand. Tell "her" why it's a mistake. If you don't know why it's a mistake, just ask me and the rest of JWN.

    She's in strictly for social reasons now.

    If she takes the plunge, she keeps her friends and social contacts which shouldn't be discounted in this economy.

    That's bullsh*t. If her friends are like her, weak on the desire to become JW's, then they won't shun her just because she doesn't get baptized. The few who do are so mind-controlled that their loyalty is more to the WTS than to her friendship and she doesn't need them.

    Social contacts that can help her to win a good career will be developed in college. I am not going to assume that the JW contacts are all window washers, but really what important business contacts are there in her JW world that cannot be replaced by worldly contacts on her way to a degree and good summer jobs?

    She can either hide or get DFed. .....she can always get reinstated if she wants to go through the charade.

    What a lousy choice. If she is never dipped, she can still hide her shacking up or not depending on who is in her life. But if she doesn't hide, or is caught, the JW family doesn't have to decide to automatically shun her. Friends- I already stated above. If they shun her, she doesn't need them. This is a totally bogus reason to get dipped. Why kiss the ass of elders if she gets caught breaking the rules? Just don't get baptized and the rules don't apply.

    I am not encouraging or discouraging her either way at this point.

    Give the benefit of experience. Talk to IsaacAustin who posts here much and was never baptized. Talk to previously suicidal teens and young adults who couldn't take the shunning when their double life was discovered.

    Here's a great scenario:

    UberElder: Brother Open Mind, if your daughter is going to college, you cannot promote college from the platform.

    Open Mind: Okay. I won't.

    UberElder: You shouldn't even allow your daughter to go to college. It might jeopardize your position.

    Open Mind: I would never insist that my daughter not go to college.

    UberElder: Also, if she's not active (turning in field service) and getting ready for baptism, and you support her either at home or by paying for college, you should step aside from your position.

    Open Mind: Well, let's get started removing me then.

  • Scarred for life
    Scarred for life

    I agree 100% with Open Mind.

    Your daughter is getting baptized for friends and social contacts? That actually made me laugh. She doesn't believe that it is the true religion but she is going to make a public statement to the world by baptism that she is commiting herself to the Watchtower Bible and Tract Society? This is how she is going to begin her adult life? By living a lie?

    She is at the perfect point to break away and begin her own life. Doesn't it have to start somewhere? Someone has got to take a stand and stop the charade. What are your goals? What are you accomplishing by what you are doing?

    You say she is going to college and has friends outside of the KH. Now is the time for her to become even closer to them and break ties with her JW friends. She will make tons of friends in college and her social contacts will be far superior to anyone that she knows at the KH.

    Maybe I don't know your full story but what I have read on this thread is preposterous.

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