How I figured JWs were NOT the truth...

by cognac 39 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  cognac

  I remember thinking growing up that I wasn't sure it was the true religion but because my family were so sure of themselves and so many people believed it that I loved and respected it had to of been the truth.

  Then, I reasoned that because we were the only ones who fulfilled the preaching work that there was no other way any other religion could be the true religion except us. Plus, we used Jehovah's name and didn't take it out of the bible but the preaching work was really the main thing that kept me in...

  I was always afraid to really study just the bible because I knew a ton of things might not be right. Otherwise, why would so many JWs be afraid to run into a Greek scholar out in field service. If they were so sure of themselves, why would this be a problem at all. Well, I knew why it was a problem with me... I knew I couldn't prove 1/2 of what I believed... Just so many things didn't make sense to me - but I felt this HAD to be the truth... There were just a lot of things I didn't understand.

  When a brother that knew the original Greek and Hebrew language left the truth - I knew something was VERY, VERY wrong. He knew something I didn't. I just knew it.

  So, my curiousity got the better of me. I would go to apostate sites sometimes. I didn't spend to much time on the sites because I would start to feel guilty. Never saw anything that would really cause to much of an affect on me anyways...

  Then, I had sex with my now hubby before getting married. I DID NOT want to go before a JC. So, I decided to see if they had a forum for ex-JWs. I reasoned that they HAD to have an active elder on these forums. So, I would go tell that elder what I had done and see what he said to do. Hopefully, he would somehow relieve my conscious because I did afterall go to a real elder - just not in my cong.

  So, I did that. I came here. I got a fake email account that didn't have my name on it. Just in case this site was run by active elders trying to find out who would go to apostate sites and then tell there local elders on them. Then, I signed up under another username. (I later used that username for the one time my hubby came here.)

  I didn't really read anything because I just wanted to find an elder an be done with it. I did! So, I messaged him and he REALLY, REALLY comforted me. I wish I could remember who it was. If you are reading this and you know its you, let me know!

  But, I couldn't let this go all the way. That's when I said to myself that it's time to figure out if this is really the truth or not. There was no way I was going to go to the elders if this wasn't really the truth...

  So, I decided to pioneer. That way, I would get a bible study and be forced to study things from the very beginning. Well, the beginning of the book anyways. So, I did that. I worked fulltime, pioneered getting at least 80 hours of service a month and started reading the scriptures and researching a lot of the Greek meaning of things. I did my personal research for about 20 or 30 hours a week. This lasted for for 2 1/2 months before I figured out that I was in a cult. I saw how many things were wrong not only biblically but also in the congregation. For example, I didn't understand how there wasn't more preaching work in the evenings. Afterall, if you believe the big A is coming then shouldn't you be preaching WHEN the people are at home? When I brought this to the elders attention, they didn't really do anything about it.

  Anyways, when I figured out it was all wrong I had no idea that people didn't want to know. I starting telling my hubby and when he reacting bad to it I thought it was just him. So, I came back here and signed up under the username I have now because I had just vent before I told my dad because I was partially mad at him for raising me in this religion.

  So, I guess I always somewhat knew... How did you figure it out?
• 

  OUTLAW

  Just like you Cognac,little by little.................I grew up in it.....Never critisize the WB$,or you would pay..Never question anyone in WBT$ authority,or you would pay..Believe everything you are told,or you would pay.............I questioned,critisized and never believed everthing I was told..................I`m out!.............................OUTLAW
• 

  cognac

  Well Outlaw, I think it's better to know the truth then be stuck under mind control. It's great not to always feel guilty!!!

  Of course, I didn't know I couldn't question things. I figured that out when I almost ended up in a JC after having a huge argument with some members of my family!
• 

  JWdaughter

  I was busy proving to my friends that my religion was true and did research outside of the latest WT literature to prove it-I used old indexes and read older magazines and started seeing a lot of things. I read other christian books on various topics. I read the BIBLE. That did it:)
• 

  trebor

  Acceptance of blood fractions never sat well with me. It's either you take blood or you don't. Researching that issue led me to finding the previous stance of organ transplants being cannnibalistic [Watchtower, November 15, 1967, ‘Questions from Readers’] and how a woman was guilty of fornication if she didn't cry out when being raped [Watchtower, January 15, 1964, page 64]. Both references are found on the Watchtower 2007 CD-ROM. There are other references for the rape issue, but one was more than enough for me.

  From that I knew it was all wrong.

  Other things such as the false prophecies and their Bible translation, especially the Johannes Greber connection, their UN membership, and "friend of the court" brief with Jimmy Swaggart all just solidified my stance.
• 

  passwordprotected

  The Governing Body raising their head above the parapet with last year's abolishment of the Book Study Groups. Then I started trying to prove all of the teachings, 1914 in particular, to myself. When that failed, I always remember looking at a photo of CT Russell and it dawning on me that he was a false prophet and that he had set the standard for the Society.
• 

  leftbelow

  My experience started with a public talk. It had a section on the year 1914 and I wanted to do more research on 607bce of course when I saw how there was no support for that it was like the scales dropped from my eyes and I started to see everything else that was wrong. Now I find it hard to believe I ever bought any of it.
• 

  BluesBrother

  I had been "Spiritually low" for a while, nothing really moved me any more. I was afraid to spend time researching because I knew that it threw up more questions than answers. So I kept busy, preparing talks, taking meetings, doing the Secretary job.

  I was getting on well with people at work. I could not see that they deserved to die. The congregation , my fellow elders , continually disappointed me.

  Then it struck me, like a thunderbolt ! I was at work sitting at my desk and in a moment I repeated over and over, under my breath "it is just not true, It is just not true, none of it" That is why so many things did not make sense..

  From that moment I was mentally "out" although it took a while to extricate myself and I still take my wife along to he meetings on some Sundays to be helpful and keep us together
• 

  leavingwt

  My little boy saved my life...

  When he was in utero, the doctors feared that was suffering from an immunological condition that might cause him to be malnourished, and possibly die, late into the pregnancy, if he were untreated. The treatment? An injection of RED BLOOD CELLS into the umbilical cord. However, before the treatment, more blood tests would need to be done.

  I waited 48 hours for the test results. During that period, I was mentally taxed with the very real possiblity that my unborn son would DIE, because I would refuse a 100% effective medical treatment. It was then that I GAVE MYSELF PERMISSION to question all that I had considered to be sacred, for I feared I could not live with myself if I were to cause the death of my son.

  The test results came back just fine, no blood treatment would be necessary.

  However, my mind had been freed. Once I started to critically examine the JW Blood Doctrine with an open mind, it all fell apart. I knew I could no longer be a JW. I began plotting my exit.

  Six months later, I DA'd myself.

  Up until this incident with blood, I had NEVER once questioned whether or not this had been The Truth, God's Organization.

  In my case, a single event really triggered my eventual awakening. Had it not been for this event, it is doubtful I would have escaped. They had my mind 100%.
• 

  restrangled

  Cognac, I have to say you went above and beyond to make it your own.

  I got it figured out after I turned 15. Was df'd in January of 1975, three months later the decision was reversed, I turned 16 that year and nothing, nothing, nothing ever happened but pain and suffering. That fall, everyone waited with baited breath.......

  1976 came. I remember my father went out and bought me the latest "16 magazine" in December of 1975.

  My father, an elder for many years, dropped out. He was making calculations mathmatically, and the WT kept coming up wrong.

  1975 came and went. My mom almost dropped out.... she told me many years later.

  It was all a lie. All of it, every last little nasty bit of it.

  Too bad the internet was not available at that time.

  r.