why do elders ask such personal questions when deciding whether to disfellowship

by looloo 17 Replies latest jw experiences

  • looloo

    a friend of mine was asked if she had become "moist" along with had penetration actually taken place , why is that necassary to ask along with did you fondle breasts etc surley they could keep it short and ask if the "deed " was done , yes or no ? why all the other questions ? she was only 19 with no experiance of life and sex and was so embaressed she could not answer and was disfellowshipped for being "cocky" any ideas ?

  • ex-nj-jw

    I was asked:

    Who undressed who?(gawd did it)

    Did you give/receive oral?(why?)

    Did you enjoy it? (uh yeah! why is that a question?)

    How many times did each of the above happen? (didn't count)

    Did you kiss with your mouth open or closed? (wha?, is there any other way?)

    Did you touch his penis? (uh no, it magically entered me)

    I refused to anwer these idiotic questions. I was pregnant damnit how do you think it happend and why does it matter? Stupid elders!


  • The Almighty Homer
    The Almighty Homer

    Some elders get off in getting all the details of what happened, its an invasive power thing that they in their own minds think they hold over people.

    That personal question was used to perceive if the girl was sexually excited at the time.

    Gee when most people are in love and they are making out what does happen naturally ?

    Elders by the way are not the smartest people around, you can tell by the questions they some times ask people,

    but like I said its a power thing for them that they get off on and at times get moist .

  • OnTheWayOut

    I cannot begin to excuse it, but will try to explain it. It's in the training and in the way the Elder's Manual leads the elders.
    They want to know if a confession of something short of intercourse was actually pornea or loose conduct, so they ask if the penis or vagina was manipulated. They want to know if the person succumbed to a "moment" of weakness or was enjoying themself to determine a pattern of sin, wickedness, or just normal weakness, so they ask about enjoyment, removing or just loosening clothes, duration, penetration, YADDA YADDA.

    It is all pretty stupid as they don't need all that. And let's face it- three men and a pretty woman, especially a young virginal woman who is considered adult; the hotter she is, the more questions of this type they will ask. They are already getting the room steamy with the questions they think they should ask, so they go overboard once they step into their own secret desire to visualize it all. It's pornography for men that deny themselves such things, and they think God likes them doing it.

    When they ask a man such questions, they only cross the same lines if they know who the girl is, and she's hot. Seriously.
    When fat, older people and especially men confess, the sessions are generally short and quick. It's a bizarre thing.

  • ex-nj-jw

    I think OTWO is right. During my JC I asked them if they were getting off by asking these questions. My dad promptly grabbed me by the arm and pulled me into the hallway to let me know that if I didn't answer the questions and look repentant that they would df me and if they did I'd have to find somewhere else to live.

    Mind you I was 17, pregnant and being told not to ever see the father of my child again. So I went back in cried alot and said I was sorry, that I'd never speak to my boyfriend again and cried some more. They fell for it, public reproved me and I didn't get kicked out of the house.

    I still didn't answer the stupid questions, I was too busy crying. I never felt sorry or repentant and walked out giving them the finger. I went home and started planning my escape!


  • drwtsn32

    Yeah, maybe they really are trying to prove "pornea"... but I still think they get off on it!

  • Luo bou to
    Luo bou to

    When fat, older people and especially men confess, the sessions are generally short and quick. It's a bizarre thing.

    Hardly bizarre OnTheWayOut.... just proof that they get their rocks off..... Sick bastards.... all done under the self righteous cover of keeping the congregation clean Would they ask their own daughters such questions?

  • Heaven

    ... because they have no life.

  • AudeSapere
    Would they ask their own daughters such questions?

    I think that is an important point. Most would not and certainly would intervene if anyone else tried to ask those questions.

    This may have been a turning point for me in my separation from the org. It's difficult to pinpoint what started my awakening but there was an incident that occured with my close friend. She was single parent with two teen-aged daughters. They got into a little bit of trouble together with several (most) of the teens in our cong. The ONLY ones that were called before the elders were these two girls. It really seemed that they were set up to be scape goats. Rather than loving encouragement, they were ostracized.

    These girls are now in their thirties and still talk of the trauma that they suffered at the hands of men we all thought would provide gentle loving support and direction.

    I still feel guilty for encouraging their mom to talk to the elders.


  • Quirky1

    They ask all the questions get all the answers and go home to fantasize about it.......

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