What Has Hurt You Most About Being A Witness?

by minimus 30 Replies latest jw friends

  • babygirl75

    I would agree with the not having a "normal" childhood. Also the sheltered life, not having any friends or association with anyone other than JW's. Now being out, being shunned by family and then trying to fit in with the real world and having to start new friendships with normal people.

  • hamsterbait

    I knew several window washers and cleaners when I was young.

    All generous-hearted, welcoming people.

    None of them were JWs...



    WTWizard - I almost died laughing reading your post and visualising your grief!!!!

    Thank you for making me laugh so hard!!

  • scotinsw

    Not knowing quite a few members of my family because of DFing.

    My grandmother never getting to have all her grandchildren (there were only 3) in the same room. Probably happened because we didn't have family xmas, we lived at the other end of the country and my uncle was not a JW.

    The fact that my so-called friends all stopped having anything to do with me ater they got married - I ended up on anti-depressants because of it. I find it very difficult to trust people now as I keep thinking that they will do the same.

  • merfi

    There are many, but my biggest regret is having robbed my kids of a normal baby- and child-hood full of birthdays, Christmases, Easter bunnies, trick or treating, the tooth fairy, middle school dances and so on. They were 12, 9 and 8 when I gave my resignation.

    We are totally making up for lost time now, though

  • awildflower

    The thing that broke my heart and started my fade was the treatment of my son. He has, in their words, an 'unbelieving father' and yet he was so easy to raise in this org, so obedient and kind and loving. I always say 'he's a lover not a fighter'. Was pretty much always a homeshcooler so the brothers caught on real quick no matter where we were living, that he was the kid you could call to do anything they needed and my son absolutely would do anything. Mow, clean, babysit, etc..... But I was always confused as to how I would hear from the platform that brothers should take a personal interest in these young men who don't have fathers in the org and teach them and so forth. Well nobody ever would. I practically begged brothers to take a personal interest in my son because I knew his potential, and nothing. Well when we moved here, (been here five years now), he was 14. Finally someone in the hall let him start handling microphones and he just bloomed. He felt so good and used and took pride in what he was doing and did it well. I thought, ok maybe finally now........Well the CO came through, a heartless, cold brother, and because my son wasn't baptized he took that assignment away from him. I thought, this kid could be doing a thousand things worse than microphones in this world and they were taking it away? I was so sad for him because I had to explain that they were right, it's in print, that you have to baptized, etc........It broke his heart, shattered his self-esteem and made him feel like he couldn't do anything right. Then I asked a young brother, ex-bethelite, who had recently become an elder to work with my son. He said he didn't have time, but it was funny how he got handed a 'real' bible-study, a man met in the ministry and he jumped all over that. We became disallusioned and sad. So what hurts me the most? The love that is constantly preached up there, is not real!!! I don't care how much they try to make it look real, it's a lie. And I truly mean that. My son gets more encouragement about being a man from work then he ever did in this org! Sorry this went so long, but it gets me riled. It's not the teachings that kill me, it's the lack of love and the lack of just basic psycology that kills me. Why couldn't that CO have said, "oh look at this nice young man, he handles his assignments well, and it must be difficult not having a father who's in, lets do all we can to encourage him and make him feel good......" Didn't happen. I will never, ever go back to that.........wf

  • Gregor

    The disconnection with my extended family that I grew up around and loved. They are all gone now. A lot of wasted years that could have been full of association and warmth.

  • LouBelle

    I could have become a hockey or tennis player, even a swimmer. I was brilliant as a kid, had a natural gift - all all wasted, life could have taken me on another path.

  • minimus

    LB, I bet you were the best walker in field service, though.

  • LouBelle

    mini - had all the moves down - even the pioneer shuffle

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