by minimus 30 Replies latest jw friends
No normal childhood.
Stolen family. Damage occurred slowly over many years. Issues never talked about, addressed or resolved. Damage was widespread throughout JW family and non-JW family.
I agree with Outlaw. The ramifications of this cult on my family are still taking place. And I've been out for 37 years. The tentacles are long and extremely powerful.
Like others have stated, I hate that I wasted my time, about ten years of my life. No matter what I do now, I can't help but think I could have been further along if it were not for those "lost years."
Not having gone to college.
No family, friends or holidays and terribly looooooong meetings where I got spanked and slapped.
No holiday memories to share with my children.
Being made to sit quietly during long, boring, scary meetings and assembly programs. Getting pinched if I became restless.
The constant fear of losing those I love with all my heart... my beloved family who is still in.
So many years out, I don't even want to admit... and I am still partially "living in the closet" spiritually speaking.
One step at a time. We'll get there.
my pride - that I was taken in by it all
Well, I have turned down few gorgeous women at my workplace, they even tried to feel me, I turned them down.
Having to worry about getting everyone into the cancer. I see someone attractive, and I am not supposed to care about anything but making them witlesses--not a good way to do anything.
Wasted income potential, and wasted money. I have wasted perhaps $2,000 or more on donations to the Worldwide Pedophile Defense Fund, suit dry cleanings, supplies for field circus, gas donations (and paying for rides to and from the boasting sessions), and accomodations for Grand Boasting Sessions (I do not count giving things to people on a volitional basis as wasted--only if I was hounded into it). Also, the hours I could not work because there was a big fat boasting session in the way cost me money.
Not being able to keep up with computer literacy. Between the Commodore 64 and today's PCs, so much has changed that I have not been able to keep up with things like writing programs in today's languages (which could have made me some money during the late 1990s).
Learning bad "skills". Such as being paranoid that worldly women equaled fornication (which was continually drilled in from the platforms and in Washtowel articles, as well as hammered in during my study). Such as dreading Christmas. Such as viewing opportunities to make money as possible sins (computer programming was always related to the National Defense, and only accidentally found their way into civilian life). Such as viewing everyone as a potential witless, not as potential anything else.
Who knew being a cleaner or window washer would cause so much damage?
