Things I have said to my wife lately

by Yizuman 27 Replies latest jw friends

  • I quit!
    I quit!

    7:00 am I wake up and say "Why are you still in bed. You won't have time to exercise".

    7:30 I say"Why are you still in bed? You're going to be late for work".

    Latter in the afternoon "Wanna go out for pizza tonight?" (Always a great come on line with my wife)

    Of course I've been married over 30 years and the dialogue changes over time.

  • El Kabong
    El Kabong

    7:00AM: Hey wake up....roll over.

    7:02AM: go make eggs.

  • TweetieBird

    Yiz - your wife is a lucky woman.

    Parakeet - you crack me up. Thanks for starting my day off with a laugh. I needed that.

  • StAnn

    I'm crabby in the morning, to put it mildly.

    This is the first day that I haven't had to get the kids up for school. My husband works night shift. He came home this morning, watched a little TV, then came into the bedroom and said, "You'll never believe what time it is." I answered, "Okay. What time is it." He said, "It's 8:45! I let you sleep in!" He got into bed. I gave him back his pillow, which I'd been sleeping on all night, and rolled over for a quick snooze before getting up. He began to snore as soon as his head hit the pillow.

    Ooh. Isn't he great. He "let" me sleep in, although there was absolutely no reason for me to get up with the chickens today. Should I give him a medal or something?

    That's it. Great, exciting, romantic mornings at the Conn household.

    St. Ann

  • ex-nj-jw

    6:30 AM - I wake up, hit the snooze and say 5 more minutes!

    6:45 AM *he nudges me and says 5 minutes up, you are gonna be late, I say, shut up I know what time it is

    7:05 AM I jump up, yelling shit I'm gonna be late! Shower, dress, hair, grab lunch, say bye and run out the door! He rolls over and sleeps for another 45 minutes


  • Yizuman

    This morning I asked if she'd like me to raise the window blinds to let in some sunshine and she said, "nah!" and I snapped my fingers and said, "Oh that's right, there's plenty of sunshine in here already with your presence in this room."

    She blushed and said, "Oh, stop!" and started beaming!


  • Tuesday

    "It's your turn to change the diaper"
    "Seriously you smelled it first."
    "But I got the last three."

    The wonders of an 18 month old who's movements could gag a maggot.

  • Heaven

    Yiz... I think you should teach courses! You're one in a million.... sigh!

  • Yizuman

    While I was cleaning up my wife and changing her, she asked me, "Where were you in my life 10 years earlier?????"

    I said, "Waiting for you."

    Then she gazed at me with her loving eyes that would knock me flat on my ass.


  • parakeet
    While I was cleaning up my wife and changing her.....

    OK, Yiz, you'e just crossed the line from barely believable to farce! Unless you're newlyweds.

    Yiz's real mornings:

    7 AM - I wake up and walk up to my wife, "Are you going to sleep in forever, my precious? I'd like my breakast NOW."

    7:30 AM *she hits the flasher button indicating she needs me* "Yes, my queen??" wife "Oh, stop with the queen crap. It won't get you out of making breakfast. It's your turn."

    8:15 AM After she eats breakfast, she flashes me. I pretend the flasher button is malfunctioning. Wife comes downstairs with dirty dishes. I say, "You're the best dishwasher in the whole world!" Wife starts crying.

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