Breaking free and closure... (page 2)

snowbird

It depends on the individual, of course.

Some post once, and that is enough.

Others stick around to support new ones.

I'm one of the latter.

Sylvia

Quirky1

I don't think there really is a REAL closure regardless of how long you have been gone.

RaraAvis

Sylvia - yes I can see that, some very kind and caring helpful people are here.

Quirky - So you really feel that this is an organization a person can never really completely break free from emotionally?

Warlock

I don't think there really is a REAL closure regardless of how long you have been gone.
Agree.
Warlock

Heaven

I don't think there really is a REAL closure regardless of how long you have been gone.

For those of us who were never really 'in' but have family 'in', we'll never have complete closure until they die or get out.

I have many questions which are slowly being answered that have validated what I felt and concluded about this organization when I was a teen in the 1970s. A heavy toll has been paid in my family because of the WTS and that burden will always be there. You cannot go back and change the past. The damage created still exists today.

Your analogy of a divorce is a good one. Divorce has been compared to a type of death. However you look at it, when you decide to leave, an end has occurred. Now the 'change cycle' begins ( http://www.changecycle.com/changecycle.htm ). Sometimes it takes people years to move through the different stages, especially if the change is of the magnitude most heavily indoctrinated JWs experience. Some people never make it out of the first 3 stages. I believe this is why some go back. To find closure, you need to move through the remaining stages of the change cycle, and ultimately, for JWs, redefine your life. It is an enormously challenging task for some. Hence, my statements in the past about mentors needed for those who truly wish to move forward, away from their previous life as a JW. Reprogramming the mind is all part of this process. Closure comes when your present life fulfills you to the point where the painful past is no longer hurtful or important to you. Sometimes that comes quickly, other times, much more slowly, and in a few cases, not at all. It's a choice and it differs for all of us.

Brocephus

This thread has made me think as I was recently involved in a semi-heated debate about suing the WTS. My opponet wanted to sue for damages inflicted upon them for being shunned and treated bad by their JW family. As f-cked up as I think they are I took the side that as long as children were not being hurt emotionally or physically, it's the JW's right to do as they do. I was a little shocked by how many freedom loving, open minded, probably liberal (politically) and rational folks disagreed with me on this issue. So my thought is......

Do those that want to see the WTS fail desire this as a means to get closure more than anything?

Personally, I appreciate the WTS for keeping the crazies off the road and out of the bars. Seriously think of some of the odd balls you knew in your Hall and imagine them in a bar on a good drunk with no Watchtower to tell them what to think and do.

Lillith26

I found this site while doing research to try and help some of my old JW friends and others break their 'programming', as I came pretty close to being 'programmed' myself!

It's the people we miss and have been torn away from by leaving/DF/DA the ORG, not the ORG itself. I think about it only to find a way to help those leaving and try my best to inspire those who are "stuck in".

I agree with Brocephus- it is the JW's right to do what they do.... if it's not harming anyone, let it be. But at the same time, one lie leads to another, then another, and when it's all said and done lies cause more harm than good!

Maybe instead of waiting for people to "break free", why not try to reach as many minds as you can and set them free??? give them the real truth behind the lies and show them the real frienship/love that is uncondition and support them through the process- If you can recruit people in, you can get them out again!

RaraAvis

Closure comes when your present life fulfills you to the point where the painful past is no longer hurtful or important to you. Sometimes that comes quickly, other times, much more slowly, and in a few cases, not at all.

Well said Heaven.

ra

happpyexjw

"I have felt compassion for many who have posted here, have felt out of the loop by many others who have formed tight "friendships" with each other here."

Rara Avis, I understand how you feel, I think. Since I have started posting here I sometimes feel a bit of an outsider because many of the folks on this forum have obviously known each other for quite a while. On ther other hand, I have learned a great deal by just hanging out and reading the comments posted by others.

There are a wide variety of points of view expressed here - some quite religious, some agnostic or atheist. Everyone has had a different history with the jws, and this no doubt colors their view of the wts today. I like your analogy of going through a divorce. For some, even leaving a terrible marriage is extremely traumatic and takes a while to process. Some can move on quickly and others need more time. Since we all have had different experiences with the wts we are processing the leaving part in our own unique way. For me, even after 20 years of being out, I still have healing to accomplish and sharing with this group has helped me to make sense of what I went through with my family. Besides that, who knows, maybe my experience will hep someone else to feel not quite so alone.

Welcome to the forum and I wish you peace, happiness and freedom from fear.

RaraAvis

Wow jamiebowers - While I see lots of venting at this place, more than anything else, I see love. Too bad you don't see it too.

I am not sure how you got the impression that I don't see love here.

Breaking free and closure...

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