Breaking free and closure...

by RaraAvis 26 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

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  RaraAvis

  I have only been posting on this site for a short time, and haven't completely decided how I feel about it. I have found it interesting to say the least, and have learned a lot from members such as andersonsinfo and others. I have felt compassion for many who have posted here, have felt out of the loop by many others who have formed tight "friendships" with each other here, have been shocked by some users, have been inspired by others ... you get the idea... I have had a full spectrum of thoughts more or less.

  However...

  The one feeling I get the most is it reminds me of divorce, or when you split off from someone who mattered to you and you can't seem to let go. You know, get closure. It is like the ex-wife who still wants to know what the ex-husband is up to, who he is seeing, where he is working, so she is constantly checking up on him etc. or the ex-husband who is bitter about being lied to or cheated on and can't get over how he was wronged.

  So my question is: When does leaving end if one is constantly thinking on that which was left? How does a person find closure if they are still very much involved or engaging the "ex" so-to-speak?

  I truly am curious - so try not to flame me please. : )

  ra
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  Witness 007

  If you check the membership file here, many thousands of people have posted here for a time...then leave. It's a way of "venting" and is important to our mental closure....many people never come back since they have moved on....good to know others have had the same experiences.
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  cameo-d

  Ra, that is a pretty good analogy.

  I think those who have been out for a long time and are still here, are on the board primarily to encourage and support others who are trying to exit.

  Not only that, we never stop learning. A lot of people became JWs because they were looking for truth and learned a few things that were new to them. But when they later realized they had been trapped in a cult and the truth was not to be found there.....that didn't mean that the search was ended.

  I think there are some pretty interesting Bible discussions on here as well.

  Cameo-d
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  RaraAvis

  Interesting
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  Gayle

  If one compares the Watchtower experience to merely a human relationship that went sour then I see your point.

  However, when you compare the experience to a robbing, lying SCAM affecting many peoples lives, destroying families, intimidating people to sacrifice even their life and the lives of their children, then for me, we are quite justified to expose the SCAM so that at least some people can be spared or to emotionally support people coming through the process on how to get out of the SCAM.
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  independent_tre

  When does leaving end if one is constantly thinking on that which was left?

  Very thought provoking question to which I believe there is no simple answer. The problem many who have left the org face is that there is no 'clean break' from this religion. Often, the person who has left still has to continue dealing with the ramifications of leaving - loss of friends, shunning, etc. So it can be very hard to just leave. Well meaning family may also pressure them to return. The one who has left the JWs may continually feel the need to be on the defensive.... and the cycle continues - sometimes for many years.
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  Brocephus

  How long were you in Ra?

  If you were a lifer or Raised JW, I recommend counseling and deprogramming. Then I recommend

  you seriously consider giving God another shot and asking him for a personal relationship. I can make some recomendations if you wish. Just email [email protected] Good luck.
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  jamiebowers

  Many of us have family still in, and knowing what's going on with the borg is comforting.

  Many of us were completely alone when the shunning first began. Only another exjw will understand the pain of leaving the "truth". And many of us feel a sense of obligation to be here for others who are following in our footsteps.

  While I see lots of venting at this place, more than anything else, I see love. Too bad you don't see it too.
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  jamiebowers

  Many of us have family still in, and knowing what's going on with the borg is comforting.

  Many of us were completely alone when the shunning first began. Only another exjw will understand the pain of leaving the "truth". And many of us feel a sense of obligation to be here for others who are following in our footsteps.

  While I see lots of venting at this place, more than anything else, I see love. Too bad you don't see it too.
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  RaraAvis

  To Brocephus:

  I was born in. Left in the early 90s, I was in my late 20s. And I have had counseling / deprogramming. I am good Bro. In fact it has only been recently that I have been visiting and commenting on this site. I have thought more about all of it in the last 2 months than the last 17+ years since I left. An old JW friend told me about this site. I have found it interesting, but got to thinking about how it doesn't seem like a person has really left the whole thing if they are still thinking about all of it all the time.

  ra