my brother said i cant ever meet his baby

Cordelia

i started a thread about my dad finding me on facebook but the truth is my brother was on it ive just got a call from him saying i cant have anything to do with facebook or i can have nothing to do withj him or his baby!!!

i feel so upset ok i was on ex jw sites on there but even gettin rid of then was not enough he said i have to get rid of facebook forever or i cant see him or my nephew#

i dont know what to do...

my dad is in the middle and not well and old and so sad at the cofrontationtation i feel bad!!!!

John Doe

You can't allow your family to rule your life. Stand up and take charge. If your brother shuns you, that's his decision and his actions causing the problem, not yours.

rebel8

Throw the ball back in their court.

Ask them to see a family therapist with you. Tell them they must do this and genuinely be willing to work on your relationship, or they won't ever be able to see you.

JWdaughter

You could be stubborn about it as he is, or you could be gracious-but you need to consider how he is trying to control you. Will it end with facebook? I doubt it. You might want to talk to him and let him know what other gauntlets he is planning on laying down, if any. You might want to ask him if that is how unconditional his love is going to be for his baby (if he gets snotty). Or you might just let him have it for THINKING he can control you. I guess at some point, we need to distinguish between being gracious, or humble or a doormat. His reasons for this? I don't know. But if he is going to use his baby like a whip to control you, you might want to bow out now. 18 years is a long time to play his tune. What next? Will you have to Aux. Pioneer to see junior? Will you have to place a certain amount of magazines? Go to Bethel? Where will it end? Ask him!

On its face, he seems kind of an ass. And his baby will be raised by that man. Sigh.

Mickey mouse

Have you tried blocking him on FB or setting your security settings to maximum?

Edited to add: Sorry, I realise that doesn't begin to address the issues of putting up with JW family. You have my sympathies.

jamiebowers

First of all, I would ask him why he was on there if Facebook is so bad. Second, if he's half the a**hole he sounds like he is, his son is going to grow up to hate him and the "truth", so he'll need his "worldly" aunt to fall back on when that time comes. Please step back and look at this situation realistically. JWs are in a cult and allow their minds to be controlled by cult leaders. The guy who threatens you about being on Facebook is the same guy that would try his damnedest to talk you out of going to the police, if God forbid, your child was molested by a fellow jw. Are these realy the people you want dictating your life decisions for you?

mouthy

Oh I truly dont know what to advize you.
To lose loved ones that are alive is sometimes harder
than losing them in death...
Is face book that important for you???
I am on it... But dont know how to work it properly...
You have to decide. the loved ones or your will.
I personally wish I hadnt lost my daughter ,
I am very old & hope to die soon. But it would have
been a blessing to have my daughter whom I love
very much to spend these last days with me.
But what ever you decide...May it be for your family to be happy
( you ,hubby & kids...

Barbie Doll

Throw the ball back in their court.

Ask them to see a family therapist with you. Tell them they must do this and genuinely be willing to work on your relationship, or they won't ever be able to see you.

I like that , That is a good Idea.

How important is your facebook, to loose your Brother and nephew?

Sweetie he wants to control you. Its not going to stop with the facebook.

Waffles

Mouthy - you are "very old & hope to die soon" ? That sounds so sad :-(

OnTheWayOut

You don't know what to do? We can only suggest. The therapy thing sounds great, but it is highly likely a "brother" would just say no.
Still, it shows how far you try to go.

It's not really about just cooperation, it's really about controlling you. You may have to decide to put your foot down, and Brother might decide to carry out his threat. But if you do as he asks, he will be empowered to search for more things to tell you what to do about.

It's not a great place to be, so power be with you.

my brother said i cant ever meet his baby

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