Getting a baptizement canceled because of mental issues?

by bohm 11 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  bohm

  Hello!

  I have a girlfriend who was born into a Jehovas Witness family. Naturally she took up the religion and was eventually babtized when she was 18. (she is 21 today). Her choice of becoming baptized happened because of the wish from her parents, and because her boyfriend of the time very much wanted her to be baptized. They later became engaged to be married.

  Now, the boyfriend is a true piece of work, he is one of the most manipulative, abusive asshats i has ever had the displeasure to talk to, and he totally ran her into the ground. About a year ago she dumped him, but it was to late, and she had a major mental brakedown.
  She hurt herself in various ways, and in the end she tried to take her own life and was admitted to a mental hospital. She was (and is) treated with psychiatry and antidepressants, got better, met me and had her eyes opened to various aspects of the teachings of jehovas witnesses which she was not familiar with at the time.

  This has caused her to have a change of heart in her religious choice, and no longer believe in the teachings of Jehovas Witnesses. Naturally this is a great problem for both of us, because we are facing the threat of her being disfellowshipped. One way to us out of this pickly is if she could have her baptizement canceled, so we are trying to seek the possibilities for that.

  Our reason for this would be that she was not in a sound state of mind when she took her descision to get baptized, and that is the case we would try to make.

  It was noted in her file when she tried to take her own life that she was not "acting like a person of her age should" (she was *really* in the crapper so there should properly be other GoodStuff there. They was originally suspecting borderline!), and we could get various statements from her psychiatrist to back this up, eg. that she was having major mental problems around that time.
  We furthermore assume that we could get the psychiatrist to give various statements which may be a colored version of the truth, as long as it is not in complete conflict, eg. that she (at the time of her baptizement) was so connected to her boyfriend that she may have let him think for her and that kind of things.

  So the question i would kindly ask this board to consider are these:

  • How should we approach this? What should one write to influence Bethel? Can we do something to "aid" her cause now?
  • What should be included in such a request from the psychiatrist and from the hospital to build up a just cause?
  • Is is better to do it now, or wait? (she is moving to a new congreation very soon but does not plans to attend)
  • Any other information, experiences, etc.?

  Sincerely!
  The anonomous couple.

  ps
  I should properly note that she is able to think for herself today. She is a very sweet and nice person, and you would not be able to tell what she has been through if you met her, and her choide in religion is one i has let her deside on her own without threat of leaving her or other crap since i believe no sane person or persons would behave like that *wink* *wink*.
• 

  jaguarbass

  Just dont go to the kingdumb hall.

  It would be nice if you could move out of the territory.

  Every place I have every lived you could move out of the territory by moving 5 miles down the

  road or 50 feet across the street.

  Screen your phone calls and dont answer the door.

  In a couple of years they wont remember her.

  I think this would be the simplest and easiest.

  I dont think they are going to annul a baptism withou the stigma of dissasociation or dissfellowshipment.

  I just stopped going. I didnt answer the phone or the door.

  20 years latter, everyone, family still talks to me but no one talks about relgion.

  I get invited to family weddings, get togethers.

  My mother and sister disassoicated themselves.

  And they dont get invited to weddings, family get togethers etc.

  But they did get to make their statement, for the world to see.

  To bad the world didnt and doesnt care.
• 

  bohm

  Thanks for your advice jaguarbass!

  Well, thats an easy solution :o). We are really afraid of her being disfollowshipped. In a while she will be moving a couple of hundred miles away so that part is allready set.

  She will be moving in with a couple of girls (not jv) but it is known to her current congregation that she has a boyfriend. Your reasonably sure they wont kick her out just because she does not attend meetings and has a (worldly) boyfriend? (I read in the book for Elders that it would be reason for disfellowshipping if there was strong reasons to expect something improper was going on. Im not sure if this could be enough).
• 

  mkr32208

  No, they will make the same announcement with the same effect if you DA DF ANULL it whatever same announcement same result.

  Best idea just put it behind her as best she can and walk away...
• 

  jamiebowers

  I'm afraid getting her baptism annuled based on mental illness would probably be impossible. They won't do it for people who were baptized as young children, so why would they do it for her? Her best option is to fade, and moving hundreds of miles away is a good start. I hope she continues to get therapy, because this really is a mind blowing cult!
• 

  WTWizard

  Your best bet is to fade. That means going to fewer and fewer boasting sessions and doing less and less field circus, or moving to a different territory and "forgetting" to let them know about it or having them forward your publisher card. You want to confuse them as to whose job it is to hound you, and start missing boasting sessions altogether. That is easier if you switch back and forth between two different congregations for a time.

  Getting a baptism annulled is impossible among the witlesses--there is no graceful way to leave. In fact, that is why they want children getting baptized at age 6--they are way too young to understand what it means, and they have those people trapped in the Washtowel Slaveholdery. And, if you break the rules or tell them you no longer want to be a witless, you are going to be treated as if you were dirt from that time on. And, they will do all they can to make it as stressful as they possibly can, even putting up a wall between you and your family.

  And they have the nerve to tell the public, in the July 2009 Asleep!, that it is wrong for anyone to be forced between religion and family.
• 

  wobble

  I have to dis-agree with the Wizard, a young lady who was associated with our Congo. had a somewhat similar history,mental health problems,self-harming etc,and her baptism WAS annulled !

  I don't know what the procedure is,but hers was cancelled,becauseshe was not in a fit mental state when she was dunked.

  Love

  Wobble
• 

  bohm

  One *can* get a baptizement annulled - we know that for a fact because a friend of her had it done (he is quite a nice guy but has a mental history).
  Its the question of what is required to have it done..
• 

  jamiebowers

  I have to dis-agree with the Wizard, a young lady who was associated with our Congo. had a somewhat similar history,mental health problems,self-harming etc,and her baptism WAS annulled !

  One *can* get a baptizement annulled - we know that for a fact because a friend of her had it done (he is quite a nice guy but has a mental history).
  Its the question of what is required to have it done..

  Well, I stand corrected. Why don't you ask her friend how he did it? Then, please post the answer here. I'm sure there are many people who would be interested in knowing how it's done.
• 

  jwfacts

  I have heard of a person having their baptism annulled due to not understanding what they were doing because of mental issues. Your girlfriend would need to speak to the elders and write to the local bethel branch outlining the details of her baptism and hospitalisation to attempt the obtain an annullment. However, it would be a slim chance that it would work and if not speed up her being disfellowshipped. I attempted to get my baptism annulled on the basis of being baptised as a minor but it was disallowed and I got disfellowshipped instead.

  As already mentioned, even if she gets the baptism annulled, her parents and friends may still shun her on the basis that she is no longer one of Jehovah's Witnesses.