Jw's getting married BEFORE divorces are final?

by Tired of the Hypocrisy 20 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

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  Tired of the Hypocrisy

  A video was sent to me with some claims that struck me as very odd. After over 40 years associated with the wbts I NEVER heard that a couple could marry and consumate their marriage even while one of them was in the middle of a divorce that has not been finalized. The claims are that they can marry with a "promise" to go and get the union ratified by civil authorities and that Jehovah and Jesus are ok with the fornication as long as they promised. I wrote to the video's amker to ask him for some source material because if it can be documented that the society ok'd this it will show another bad thing about the group.

  Has anyone ever heard of this being ok thru the wbts?

  The video is in Spanish but it's here if you want to see it:

  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ChLMoa6NrbE
• 

  sammielee24

  Yes, I heard of this in as far as living together or common law marriages, but it only applies to other countries. They're a bunch of hypocrites is what it boils down to.

  Apparently, and there is some writing I read somewhere on this, if you live in a country where let's say, a marriage is only legal in the Catholic Church and you are JW's, then it's okay to live common law. It makes sense if they pick and choose what applications they want to apply to various countries, that let's say a Catholic guy is in the middle of divorce but converts to being a JW and he hooks up with a JW, the above law could easily be twisted to allow for them to marry in the eyes of the WTS. Legal? Not...but is this just a 'show' marriage that has to become legal afterward? If so, then it isn't against the law and yes, the WTS does sanction fornication when it suits them to do so.

  Now - that in itself is pathetic..aren't they supposed to be following the bible??? I didn't think the rules of the game changed in that book...sammieswif.
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  C. T. Russell

  I’m surprised you’ve never heard of this before. There has to be scriptural grounds for divorce and a reasonable effort to obtain one. An extreme example would be a sister in the US who has scriptural grounds for divorce. But she cannot obtain one without her husband’s permission. Let’s say this husband is in a country were honor killings are not to uncommon (cough-Iran). Does she have to risk her safety just to remarry?
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  OnTheWayOut

  If they are God's people, why can't they just keep it in their pants until everything is cleared up and legal?
  
  Otherwise, I hate religious standards on sex and marriage preventing the normal progress of life's events.
  Still, WTS insists on such standards for it's members.
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  C. T. Russell

  @OnTheWayOut
  I was never too comfortable with all the Org’s legalize around marriage. I grew up in the South and disliked the idea of determining who can or cannot get married in the hall. It really bothered that some had to marry outside the hall. I never understood the scriptural basis for getting married in the Kingdom Hall in the first place. Then in NY there were all the complicated memos about whether illegal aliens in the Spanish\Portuguese halls could or could not have KH weddings. The whole thing struck me as being pharisaical.
• 

  CrazyBlonde

  hehe WELL...talking about a bunch of hypocrites...

  My cousin, dirty ugly sleazy alcoholic weirdo that he is, was a witness, got df'd for cheating on his wife, made out like she was bitch from hell making his life miserable etc etc and that she had set him up, she was threatening him, and that he didn't cheat on her, blah blah, got married to a non-jw, seemed content for a while, cheated on her, winds up in the middle of a hairy divorce with her taking all the $$ she can get (don't blame her), moves to where my parents (devoted and upstanding jw's for 60+ yrs) live, then got reinstated with the loving help of his uncle (my dad, the sucker for a sob story and some crocodile tears, great elder he makes!), THEN started sleeping with a sister in my parents congo who was ALREADY MARRIED to an MS who from what I've heard was nice as pie, loving etc, no problems in their marriage at all... THEN my cousin and his new lover both got df'd, then they started coming back to the meetings, cried for forgiveness, loving uncle got them reinstated, and now they are GETTING MARRIED... (just as soon as his divorce to his second wife comes through, her's has already) AND MOST LIKELY IN THE HALL. And get this - my mother, she who lives by and made my life hell with her OTT strict adherence to everything in the jw literature - has the hide to invite the family to the wedding and is supporting their marriage coz 'they are repentant'.

  Bunch of hypocrites. And i don't want to go to his wedding anyway, he's a dirty sleazebag who cheats on his wives and then cries like they screwed him over. and my dad's the friggin PO!! he has gotten a lot of people who cry crocodile tears and fake repentance reinstated over the years, and it always ends badly.

  then my parents wonder why i don't seem very spiritual *sigh* fyi i'm in the long slow process of fading.
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  Lady Lee

  I remember this as far back as the early 80s (I left in 85 so it had to be before that) But as said above it applied to other countries or in very unuswual circumstances

  and it most certainly would not be allowed if anyone in the community/"world" knew about it
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  BabaYaga

  Bookmarked, this is bizarre.
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  falcon

  It's true. Visiting Italy in 2000, my friends and I were told this .

  We were shocked. Us coming from the U.S. Plus the whole idea that we all lived by the same rules.

  Basicaly the reason said was that to obtain a divorce in Italy, a Catholic country, at that time took 5 years.

  So a 'loving' provision was made for those to marry before the five years, in the hall! But you had to sign a document,

  that was kept with the elders, stating you would 'legaly' marry when the five years were up, If you didnt ,

  you would be df'ed.

  This 'loving provision' has since been dropped. If I remeber correctly, because it only takes 2 years for an Italian divorce.
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  creativhoney

  my ex was 'getting to know' someone and sitting on the same row at kingdom hall, while we werent yet divorced. - he said we were divorced in the eyes of God. - and besides they wernt 'courting' just 'getting to know'

  does anyone else get angry at the stupid lingo?

  now we are divorced - just on the day he sees a new one called Lucy they have met twice. he has already proceeded to tell her the results of any elders meetings i had in additioon to some of the woeful things i have been through since my divorce. - what right did he have to do that?

  I said i needed to opportunity to defend myself by sending her a letter with all the details of how he had been in our marriage and what had caused it to end, including his online relationship with a 15 year old girl and how he kissed my sister when she was asleep and said he thought it was me..

  hypocrisy makes me angry.