Frustrated - This is not going well!! (page 2)

ziddina

HeyBaby, you must have a wonderful husband to be determined to stay with him in spite of these difficulties. I wish you all the best results in getting him to observe more fully and carefully what really goes on in the WTBTS...

I was fortunate - in a way. I didn't have a 'good' JW hubby - I had a hypocrite who drank, played pool, gambled, expected me to live in a van with him (this was during the '80's, not the '60's...) and was a ski bum.

Eventually it became no trouble at all to leave that two-faced creep behind...

Zid

Albert Einstein

Have the same situation with my wife. My suggestion:

1) Openly express your feelings. If you love him - tell him.

2) Openly,with zero emotions,explain your feelings toward WTBS. Explain what you do not belive in anymore and why. You ll have to repeat it several times probably, he will not understand it, do it without emotions.

3) We started deep family study together - we study history of WTBS (Hey - we should know history of our religion - shouldnt we?), mainly using Poclaimers book, sometime I ad some additional material .... focus on change of doctrins, false prophecies, Beth Sarim, Beth Shan .... Rutheford ....

4) We sarted daily Bible reading of New Testament - chronological. Focus on things that do not fit in WTBS doctrines ... In first century no centralized headquarters, Christians just walked with Christ, being led by the spirit, christians did not need any aproval from "GB" to form a congregation, ... Jesus saying we must dring his blood to gain everlasting life, ... other sheep ..., 144 000..., christians prayed to Jesus (epikaleomai) 1stCo1:2 and many others ...., We never read Bible as much as now,when I became an "apostate" ... and it is so interesting! Forget the WTBS crap and just read what early christians were doing ...

5) Dont give him the impression you want him to change his mind anyhow. Treat him like you want to observe the issues together - well,he is your spiritual head and you have some issues that troubles you ...

6) Dont have the attitude in your mind you want to change him.. He is a uniqe person with a free will... The goal is to help him to loose fear and to freely make up his mind. The goal is also to save your marriage (if you want to...)

My wife was raised as a hard core JW, when I first started "hush" on her,telling her in 5 minutes what I was learning two years, it seemed we will end up in divorce. But now it has changed a lot ... I give her questions she is not able to answer, after years of pioneering she see she has no biblical support for most WTBS doctrines ... we study the issues together, we talk openly without emotions slowly about diferent spiritual subjects... I dont know If she will quit as JW and I dont care ... I want her to loose fear and to fully understand everything ...

My situation is recent and very similar to yours. If I could help you anyhow I would be happy.

Albert

drew sagan

My wife was raised as a hard core JW, when I first started "hush" on her,telling her in 5 minutes what I was learning two years, it seemed we will end up in divorce. But now it has changed a lot ... I give her questions she is not able to answer, after years of pioneering she see she has no biblical support for most WTBS doctrines ... we study the issues together, we talk openly without emotions slowly about diferent spiritual subjects... I dont know If she will quit as JW and I dont care ... I want her to loose fear and to fully understand everything ...

Great comments all around AE. Getting emotionally detached and simply expressing feelings is what I eventually worked the best. The freedom to talk eventually led my wife to learn it wasn't the truth on her own. But while all that was going on I was there to support her, regardless of her choice. I think once you stop trying to convince other people what they should do they usually open up more.

Mickey mouse

I had the same situation with my husband. When I told him (almost a year ago) we were having fights and tears and we're normally not that kind of couple. It's taken time, patience and a bit of trial and error but we've come so far. The borg spell is broken and we're discussing options.

Keep the faith.

Chalam

Ephesians 6:12 (New International Version)

12 For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.

Logic does not work or there would be no JWs. Those who practice the "religion" are deceived and blinded.

Is your husband exhibiting any traits of the "sinful nature" listed here or the fruit of the Spirit of God?

Galatians 5:19-23 (New International Version)

19 The acts of the sinful nature are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; 20 idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions 21 and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God.

22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.

All the best,

Stephen

oompa

baby.....i try try try to just shut up now....but fail....and failed this morn bigtime.....all i know is i have pushed my wife even closer to the congo and org and yahoo-weh...than ever before....so back off and win widout a word.......oompa

WTWizard

This flies directly in the July Asleep! article that no one should lose family because of a belief. Of course, you are never going to see that in a Kool-Aid washtowel or in a Kingdumb Misery--they want spouses to rat out each other if they do anything "wrong".

No, they are never going to see anything different. The party line is, any outside sources are from the Devil and therefore full of lies. You can tell them that their religion is full of holes, show them the holes, even reference them--and they will not look beyond what the Filthful and Disgraceful Slavebugger tells them. In fact, they know that this is going to bust up families (which is what they want--so the remaining person has nothing but the religion left, and the one that "erred" is forced back in).

jwfacts

Sorry to hear what you are going through.

In a discussion with a cult member there is a moment when you can actually see the mental walls go up, that is when it is time to stop the discussion.

Regarding preaching, as with other topics, the best you can do is leave him with a simple question that he hopefully will think about at a later time. For instance, "if no one else preaches how do other religions grow?" There is more detailed info on this topic at http://www.jwfacts.com/index_files/preach.htm.

SPAZnik

Someone I really cared about simply said "It's not for me." They were so confident within themselves and still remained loving to me, that I didn't take it as an attack on me or on my beliefs but as a personal choice made of free will. For some reason this, above any and all "convincing" was what led me to look into it for myself and I ended up leaving the dubs.

diamondiiz

I'm in the same spot with my wife. She can handle a bit of controversy but then the wall goes up and either tears or she needs to leave the room. With her, it's her heritage and doesn't want to let go just like every other FN religion! As I'm giving in my DA letter this month I'm guessing the elders will push her out as they will surely question her if she believes anything that I write in the letter or will view her as one to keep an eye on. One elder already gave her hard time about not going out preaching so it's just a matter of time before she realizes it. Hopefully it won't be 10 years :(

Seems that there are a lot of us in as similar situation here. Passage of time may be the best medicine possibly study the bible together but openly instead of using WTS publications for answers.

Frustrated - This is not going well!!

Ephesians 6:12 (New International Version)

Galatians 5:19-23 (New International Version)

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